Friendships, relationships, intimacy Sexual lives and orientations

1
Friendships, relationships, intimacySexual lives
and orientations

• Myths and stereotypes

2
Same-sex friendships

• Stereotype
• The friendships between men are stronger and
  deeper than those between women.
• Media examples?
• Men tend to report lower needs for affiliation
  (Mazur, 1989)

3

• Men report more friendships than women, but they
  are less close and less intimate
• Role of self-disclosure
• Gender is related to self-disclosure- women tend
  to disclose more and be the recipient of
  disclosure more
• Gay men- reported more self-disclosures (to men)
  than heterosexual men (Bliss, 2000)

4

• Values in friendships
• Women talking and sharing emotions
• Men shared activities, external world
• Reports of subjective satisfaction tend to be the
  same

5

• Important components
• Males expression of control
• Females expression of affection
• Males more goal, instrumental-oriented
• Females more expressive, emotion-oriented

6
Some important variables

• Age 56 and older
• men and women both less likely to be
  confrontational in friendships- mens
  relationships still focus on activities and work
• Gender role and sexuality

7
Other sex friendships

• The sex of other-sex friendships
• Seems to be stronger among men than women
• Abbey (1982)-m-f pairs in 5-minute conversation-
  and observers
• Rated on traits and sexual attraction

8
Main findings

• Male actors and observers rated female
  friendliness as a cue of sexual interest
• Males were more attracted to
• Male observers also rated the male actors as more
  sexual
• Cross-sex friendships as less satisfactory (Mc
  Williams Harber, 1993)

9
Sexuality, intimacy, and romantic relationships
10
Women need a reason to have sex

• Men just need a place.
• Billy Crystal

11
The double standard

• Two different standards of sexual behavior, one
  for women and one for men

12
The myth of the vaginal orgasm

• Females can experience 2 kinds of orgasm
• Clitoral and vaginal
• Freud
• Masters and Johnson research

13
Peplau (2003)

• 4 areas of difference between men and women
• Sexual desire
• Context for sexuality
• Aggression and sexuality
• Fluidity of sexuality

14
Sexual desire

• Would you go to bed with me?
• (Clark Hatfield, 1989)

15
Sexual desire (contd)

• SEX DRIVE
• Men think more about sex
• Have more sexual fantasies
• Masturbate more
• More willing to initiate sex
• More willing to make sacrifices for sex

16

• Frequency versus type of activity
• Love and intimacy versus sexually arousing
• No differences in frequency of fantasy
• -men more urges and masturbatory fantasies

17
Context for Sexuality

• Committed relationships
• Attitudes toward casual sex
• What are your motives?
• Love and commitment
• Physical needs and pleasure

18
Fluidity and change

• attitude-behavior consistency
• Women more variable in frequency
• Men more consistent
• More changes in women- lesbian to hetero and
  v.v.
• Education and homosexuality

19
Sexual Activity

• Much information comes from self-reports elicited
  through surveys
• First time intercourse- hetero
• Most surveys find discrepancies between male and
  female reports

20
Homosexual activity

• Like with heterosexual reports, males tend to
  report more activity

21
Across the Life Span

• Women are much more likely to report increases
  from young adulthood to older age in frequency,
  pleasure and satisfaction
• The influences of social beliefs on experiences
  of sexuality

22
Responses to Erotica

• Belief that men are more frequently and more
  easily aroused by erotic material
• most material that is arousing is meant for the
  male eye
• Women as idealized and belittled

23

• Studies suggest that women are as physically
  aroused to x-rated films and videos
• However, women are less likely to seek these
  materials out

24
Couple relationships

• Choosing a partner
• Hetero women and men are drawn to physically
  attractive partners
• Buss work
• the drive to get married

25
Marriage

• The loving relationship is now a legal and
  economic contract
• There are legal rights and responsibilities as
  determined by the government

26
Nontraditional families

• house-husbands
• Majority not by choice, but rather necessity
• Not all families based on hetero concept
• Not a single study exists that children of
  lesbian and gay families are disadvantaged
  (Patterson, 1992 Tasker Golombok, 1995)

27
Same Sex Marriage

• The Civil Marriage Act
• BILL C-38

28

• Stereotype nice guys finish last

29

• Jensen-Campbell et al. (1995)
• Role of dominance in sexual attraction of men to
  women
• Sadalla et al (1987)- dominant behavior increased
  womens sexual attraction

30

• Dominance is complex
• Expression of agentic behavior
• This might be attractive to women-
• Might be moderated by content of the agency
• Agency cooperative/altruistic tendencies
• Agency- competitive/selfish tendencies
• Main findings

31

• Communication
• Women disclose more
• Mixed-sex couples- women provide more support to
  male speakers than vice versa
• Women use nonverbal communication

32

• Permanence/Stability
• Men may be more devastated after breakup of an
  intimate relationship than women

33

• Relationship quality and satisfaction
• Trust is a variable
• Poor relationship quality
• arguing about money, intrusion of work into
  relationship, spending much time apart, and
  non-monogamy
• Similar for homosexual relationships

34

• Marital satisfaction
• Men are more likely to be satisfied
• Men and women emphasize different things
• satisfaction and perceived equity

35
Sexual orientation
36
The problem with definition

• Lack of conceptual agreement
• Personal labeling
• The implicit link between gender and sexual
  orientation

37
Assumptions narrow the approach

• each category as discrete and to look for a
  single cause of each
• Belief that orientation is set early on in life
• Heterosexuality as the natural state

38
Biology

• Hormones
• CAH girls most are hetero although some
  homosexual
• Genetics brothers of gay males
• Transsexuals not inter-sexed and normally
  sexually differentiated