Socializing and Dating

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Socializing and Dating
Socializing and Dating

• Help and Tips in Adolescence

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Dating and Social Growth in Adolescence

• Socializing during adolescence becoming more
  independent of your family and learning to
  communicate with other people.
• Dating helps you learn more about your strengths
  and weaknesses, how to express yourself, and what
  you look for in a potential mate.
• Interesting By age 18, 80 of adolescence have
  been romantically involved with someone.

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Qualities we look for in Personal Relationships

• Trust and Honesty
• Caring/Loving person
• Good personality
• Good sense of humor
• Unselfish/giving
• Shows you and others respect/non-intimidating
• Shared interests/values
• Good listener/easy to talk with
• Enjoy being with/have fun with
• Ambitious/goal oriented/good attitude

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To or not to ? THEORIES on Dating
for Teens
date
date

• Group dating or going out with a group of
  friends, is a good way to ease into traditional
  dating.
• Its been proven to take the pressure off of
  those involved and helps to prevent making poor
  decisions.
• Waiting to date many teens choose to wait to date
  until theyre older and stay focused on their own
  lives friends, family, school, etc.
• Going steady or dating one person exclusively
• Many believe this has its set of pros and cons.

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Some Things To Think about Before Dating

• What is Mom/Dads policy on dating?
• What do I expect out of this relationship?
• Are you ready to deal with the responsibility of
  handling a relationship?
• What will we talk about? Talk about something you
  may have in common and get to know the person
  work on your listening skills.
• Where will we go? Go to a place that is familiar,
  you both feel comfortable, and will be able to
  talk to get to know that person.
• Who will be there? Its always more fun to go out
  with a group of friends.
• Keep things in perspective if things dont go
  well.
• Dating is a small part of your young, adolescent
  life.

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While on the DATE

• If you feel more comfortable, go out with a
  group safety in numbers!
• Make plans in advance to prepare.
• Choose an activity you both will enjoy.
• Be courteous Arrive on time, be friendly.
• Communicate with this person in various ways.
• Ask open-ended questions to keep conversation
  flowing.
• Be YOURSELF Dont try to act like someone youre
  not.

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Am I In LOVE?

• LOVE

• Infatuation and/or
• Puppy Love

• Tries to change the person
• Fights often (aggressive behaviors) and very
  little effective communication (passive)
• Public intimacy (making out in public)
• Puts up with each other (passive) and has
  little interests in common
• Based on physical attraction/hormones
• Often jealous and does not show trust

• Respect each other and each others decisions.
• Accepts the person for who they are.
• Use Effective communication (I statements)
• Private intimacy
• Friendship that takes time to grow
• Trust and Honesty

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Signs of a Troubled Relationship1 in 5 teen
relationships are considered unhealthy or
abusive

• Changes in communication
• Continued unresolved conflicts
• Insufficient amount of quality time spent
  together
• Emotional, physical or verbal abuse
• Ignorance of the others needs

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Destructive elements in a Relationship

• Abuse of any kind Examples?
• Desire to control
• Dishonesty or deceitfulness
• Jealousy (social media feeds this)
• Impatience
• Lack of self-esteem
• Lack of communication
• Over dependency
• Selfishness(doesnt respect your opinions)

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Reasons for Ending Relationships

• Abuse or pressure
• Alcohol or other drug addiction
• Unmet expectations
• Differences in opinion about sex
• Lack of physical attraction
• Lack of common interests
• Change in feelings about the other person
• Moving away
• Loss of job, income, financial stability
• Cheating
• Loss of trust
• Possessiveness of partner
• Family pressures
• Unmet needs

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MYTH Boys are always the abusers.

• Fact In one study, of the 77 of teens who
  reported saying or doing emotionally abusive
  things in their relationships, more were girls
  than boys.
• Dating abuse can happen in any relationshipso
  its important for both boys and girls to
  recognize the signs.

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WHEN TO SAY, THATS NOT OK Would you recognize
these signs of emotional abuse?
OK She gently teases you about an insecurity
to help you see how silly it is. NOT OK She puts
you down all the time and/or humiliates you
publicly. OK He asks you if youre interested in
dating anyone else. NOT OK He insists that you
hand over your phone and/or passwords to prove it
to him.
OK He posts multiple heart emojis when you post
a photo of the two of you. NOT OK He pressures
you to post that photo (You'll do it if you love
me). OK She wants to share Spotify
passwords. NOT OK She wants to share all social
media passwords so she can keep tabs on your
messages. OK He asks you to give him another
chance. NOT OK He tells you that hell harm
himself or do something stupid if you leave him.
OK Shes curious about who one of your Instagram
followers is. NOT OK She needs to know who each
commenter is, then makes you block people. OK
She tells you how much she loves you. NOT OK She
tells you that she loves you so much that if you
ever broke up with her, shed spill your secrets.
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Sexual Harassment

• -Harassment Sexual harassment is teasing or
  touching someone in a way that makes them feel
  uncomfortable.
• Harassment does not have to be of a sexual
  nature, however, and can include offensive
  remarks about a persons sex.
• For example, it is illegal to harass a woman by
  making offensive comments about women in general.
• Harassment is never provoked nor caused by the
  victim.
• (nobody ASKS to be harassed/not the victims
  fault)
• Both victim and the harasser can be either a
  woman or a man, and the victim and harasser can
  be the same sex.
• 180 days to File a Charge(may be extended by
  state laws)

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In Case of Harassment

• Let the person know youre uncomfortable and
  firmly tell them to stop the behavior. Say STOP
  or NO and let them know what you are
  uncomfortable with or about.
• Keep a trusted adult and friend informed let
  that person know of the behavior and how long it
  has been occurring for.
• Never leave yourself in a situation where you can
  be taken advantage of.
• Stay with others be in public areas, scream for
  help if need be make a scene/lots of noise.
• Notify your parents, another trusted adult or the
  authorities if behaviors become serious or
  continue.

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Sexual Assault

• Assault Any unwanted act which includes actual
  or threatened contact with a victims breasts or
  genitals.
• Sexual assaults and harassment are never provoked
  or caused by the victim.
• 60-75 of sexual assaults happen between people
  who know each other.
• Over half of all rapes occur at a victims home
• One in three women will be the victims of sexual
  assault in her lifetime.
• 30 of all women who are murdered in the U.S.
  including those 15-19 are killed by their
  husbands or boyfriends.

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In Case of Sexual Assault

• Get To a SAFE PLACE (trusted neighbor, hospital,
  police)
• DO NOT wash, shower or change clothes
• Dont Delay! Seek medical and police attention
  immediately.

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WHAT IS ABSTINENCE?

• Abstinence To refrain from or delay sexual
  relations until one is in a committed, loving
  relationship where BOTH people agree they can
  handle or deal with the responsibilities or any
  consequences that may arise. Ex Marriage

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Consequences of Sex before Youre Ready

• Possibility of pregnancy and/or STD.
• Disappointment or regret.
• Break-ups and Broken Hearts.
• Feeling used and uncomfortable.
• Rumors and reputations may get started.
• Feelings of weirdness or strangeness around the
  person.
• Inappropriate media could be spread.
• Fear of Parents will find out/disappointment
• Decision you will have to live with forever!

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TOP 11 Reasons TEENS CHOOSE Abstinence

• Want to wait until marriage
• Want to wait until committed relationship
• Dont want to risk future career/plans
• Religious reasons
• Dont want to disappoint family/parents values

• Afraid for pregnancy
• Afraid of HIV/AIDS or other STDs
• To maintain self-respect and prevent rumors
• Feel theyre too young
• Dont want to deal with the stress
• Dont have the time to get in a serious
  relationship

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What CAN I do with my Boy/Girl Friend?

• Hold hands
• Kisses and Hugs
• Love notes
• Talking/talking online
• Text messages
• Go out to eat
• Help them with schoolwork, chores
• Invite them to some family events
• Go to the beach with friends
• Stay home and watch a movie/go out to watch a
  movie
• Go to a sporting event/school events/dances
• Make a meal together
• Hang out with mutual friends
• Go shopping/the mall
• Buy each other little gifts
• Let the person know youre thinking about them
• Stick up for each other
• Make each other laugh private jokes
• Find activities you like to do together (ice
  skating, gaming, biking, jogging, etc.)

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WHOS RESPONSIBLE?

• KYLE? Laurens boyfriend who goes to the
  University of Kansas
• LAUREN? Pregnant with STD still in High School
• DR. WOODS? Laurens Pediatrician since she was
  younger did not give Lauren information on birth
  control.
• JANET(LAURENS SISTER)? Laurens 23 year old
  sister afraid Lauren would get a reputation and
  threatened to tell MOM.
• MOM? Brushed Lauren off when she brought up the
  topic of birth control.
• MS. JOHNSON? Laurens Health Teacher Said she
  couldnt give Lauren any information about birth
  control, said abstinence is the only 100
  full-proof way to not get in trouble.

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Pressure Situations in Relationships How would
you respond?

• I heard were the only couple not having sex.
  Whats the big deal?
• You lead me on and made me think we were going
  to have sex. So now what?
• Yo, baby, I thought you loved me?
• I heard that sex will bring us closer together.
  Come on baby, lets do it.
• I feel like weve been together a long time, I
  think its time to have sex.
• I heard you cant get pregnant or any diseases
  if youre a virgin.
• If we dont have sex soon, Im going to break up
  with you.

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How to End the Relationship

• Simply TALK to the person about your feelings
  get the message across no need to be nasty! Be
  assertive, SPEAK UP!
• Its nobody elses business to know avoid social
  media.
• Do NOT use physical violence, resort to spreading
  rumors, having a friend do it for you, or use
  social media or text.
• Do it in person it is the only RESPECTABLE way.
• Nothing wrong with maintaining friendly
  contacts or being civil to the other person.
• If the person does not accept your wishes, SEEK
  HELP Immediately from family or school personnel.

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Delaying Sex

• What are some risky situations that could lead to
  sexual activity?
• List the risks and consequences mentioned from
  people having sex.
• When is a person ready for sex?
• What can you do to show affection for your
  girl/boy friend?