Sexual Orientation

1
Sexual Orientation

• Janelle Fagg, Regina Soprano, Yvania Garcia, and
  Sheri Myers

2
LGBT Workshop Outline

• Building a Framework of Understanding Students
  Sexual Identity Struggles(Terminology, The
  Facts, Myths, Statistics)
• Developing Awareness of Students Sexual Identity
  Development(Stages of Sexual Identity)
• Providing Tools Resources for Professionals to
  support students individual Needs (Voices, Safe
  Zones, Discussion How Can You Be An Ally?)

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Objectives

• Assess professionals personal prejudice of
  homosexuals/homosexuality.
• Develop awareness of stages of students sexual
  identity development and build a framework for
  understanding students sexual identity
  struggles.
• Dispel myths and reconstruct misconceptions of
  homosexuals and the homosexual culture.
• Regardless of professionals personal beliefs,
  professionals will be able to provide students
  with sufficient support or refer them to a
  support system.
• Provide professionals tools to create a safe
  space for students.
• Link professional to further resources to support
  students.

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What Do You Think?

• Please take a minute to fill out the form.

5

• Lets discuss it.
• What did you write down?
• What prejudices or biases do you think you might
  have?

6
Terminology

• Please refer to your handout for useful
  terminology for working with students regarding
  sexual orientation.
• Lets review a few of them, shall we

7
Myths v. Facts

• There are a number of myths regarding
  homosexuality that have made their way into
  mainstream media and popular thought -- so much
  so that they are accepted as fact. It's important
  to look closely at the evidence before assuming
  what you hear is safe or true.
• (http//www.citizenlink.org/FOSI/homosexuality/maf
  /)

8

• Myth Lesbian and gay men are protected by civil
  rights laws.
• Fact In most places in the U.S. gay men,
  lesbians and bisexuals can be legally fired from
  their jobs regardless of job performance or
  seniority. They can also be denied to right to
  housing without any legal recourse. Lesbian and
  gay parents can, and often do, lose custody of
  their children without any discussion of their
  parenting skills. In short, it is legal to
  discriminate, except in those few but growing
  number of states and cities which sexual
  orientation is a specific protected class.
  Livings under oppression and pretending to not be
  a homosexual, however, can exact a high emotional
  tool in terms of feelings of self-worth, and that
  can cause serious psychological damage. Not
  because of one's homosexuality but because of how
  a particular society considers homosexuality.

9

• Myth Bad parenting and/or family problems cause
  homosexuality. People "choose" to be gay or
  straight.
• Fact There is no conclusive evidence of what
  "causes" homosexuality or heterosexuality.
  Homosexual and heterosexual people come from
  every type of family background. As always, a
  good parent will teach love, self-respect, and
  respect for others. Many scientists believe that
  sexual orientation is set at birth, certainly by
  a age five. Recent research, on twins and the
  DNA of gay men, has shown that genetics plays an
  important role in establishing one's sexual
  orientation. Most gay men and lesbians have no
  desire to be "cured" (heterosexual) those who do
  are responding to the negative societal attitudes
  toward them. The "cure" needed is not for gay
  people but for society's negative attitudes or
  "homophobia".

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• Myth Homosexuals are out for one thing - sex -
  and nobody's safe.
• Fact Gay/lesbian relationships are based on
  emotional and friendship bonds as well as sexual
  intimacy. About 50 of gay people report never
  having had a "one-night stand". This figure is
  probably equivalent to the percentage of
  heterosexuals. Gay relationships are long and
  short while some last a lifetime. Gay
  relationships may be harder to maintain, however,
  because their homosexual relationship is not
  sanctioned or supported by this society, at this
  time. Over ninety percent of child molestation
  is committed by heterosexual males against minor
  females.

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• Myth Gay men are child molesters.
• Fact The proportion of child molesters who are
  heterosexual is at least as large as the
  proportion of heterosexual men in the population.
  Between July 1, 1991 and June 30, 1992, only one
  of 387 cases of suspected child molestation
  involved a gay perpetrator. Overwhelmingly, the
  study found that boys and girls alike said they
  were abused by heterosexual male family members.
  (Childrens Hospital, Denver Colorado, 1992)

12

• Myth Homosexuals recruit children into their
  lifestyles.
• Fact A heterosexual person cant be seduced into
  being a gay man or lesbian any more than you can
  seduce a gay man or lesbian into being a
  heterosexual. A review of more than 30 studies
  comparing children of lesbian or gay parents
  showed no significant differences in terms of
  gender identity or sexual orientation sexual
  orientation is not a consequence of
  recruitment, or even of parental example.

13

• Myth Homosexuality is a choice.
• Fact Just as heterosexual people dont choose
  their feelings of sexual attraction, gays and
  lesbians dont choose theirs. The only real
  choice is between suppressing their feelings of
  same-sex attraction and pretending to be
  asexual or heterosexual and living the full
  emotional and physical life of a gay man or
  lesbian.

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• Myth Bisexuals just can't make up their minds.
• Fact Bisexuals can make up their minds they are
  attracted to both sexes in varying degrees. Some
  may be attracted more to men, some more to women,
  and some equally to both sexes.

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• Myth Gay men, lesbians, and bisexuals are
  promiscuous and cannot maintain long-term
  relationships.
• Fact As do heterosexuals, gays, lesbians, and
  bisexuals form a variety of relationships,
  lasting from one night to many years.
  Heterosexuals had a 49 percent divorce rate in
  1989, suggesting there is nothing inherent in
  heterosexuality that maintains strong, long-term
  relationships.

16

• Myth Lesbians and gays could change if they
  really wanted to.
• Fact The American Psychological Association
  states that there is no scientific evidence
  supporting the effectiveness of conversion
  therapies and opposes all portrayals of lesbian,
  gay, and bisexual people as mentally ill and in
  need of treatment due to their sexual
  orientation. (For a more detailed look, visit
  this article on the APA website at
  www.apa.org/pi/lgbc/publications/justthefacts.html
  ). Those who are highly motivated to change their
  sexual orientation may change their behavior, but
  not their underlying desire. Energy should go
  into eradicating homophobia so that people will
  feel comfortable with their sexuality, whatever
  that may be.

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• Myth HIV/AIDS is a gay disease.
• Fact HIV/AIDS affects everyone. Around the
  world, it affects equal numbers of men and women,
  and their children. If people believe HIV/AIDS is
  only a "gay disease," they will think they don't
  need to practice safer sex. It is behavior,
  rather than sexual orientation, which puts people
  at risk. We all need to learn about and practice
  safer sex.

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Statistics

• 33 of teenagers who commit suicide are LGBTs.
• 50 of all male youth suicides are gay or
  bisexual.
• 42 of teenagers who are kicked out of their
  homes are LGBTs.
• 20 of high school students who drop out are
  LGBTs.

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• Almost half of all LGBT youth are rejected by
  their parents after coming out to them.
• 97 of students hear anti-gay comments in school.
• 80 of students harassed for being homosexual
  actually identify as heterosexual.
• Students accused of being gay are five times more
  likely to attempt suicide.

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• The recent publicized school shootings
  (Columbine, Santee, Moses Lake, and West Padukah
  High Schools) all contain reports of perpetrators
  being bullied with anti-gay epithets.
• One in three LGBT individuals has a drug or
  alcohol dependence problem.
• One in four gay men and one in seven lesbians
  will be physically attacked at some point in
  their lifetime.

Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Programs and
Services, University of Missouri-Kansas.
http//www.umkc.edu/lgbt/safe_space_facts.htm
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Think About This

• In a school of 1000 students20 students will
  report same-sex attraction
• 7 will attempt suicide, 2 will die
• 9 will use drugs
• 14 will use alcohol
• 4 will be threatened or injured with a weapon
• 13 will report being sexually harassed
• 5 will be rejected by their family and leave home

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A College Guide for LGBT Students

• http//www.youtube.com/watch?vbyjvtmEGdjk

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Thoughts from a Counseling Professional

• I've worked with GLBT clients at secular and
  non-secular universities. It was a struggle for
  me initially, despite what I was taught (not to
  let personal religious beliefs get in the way of
  your professional role). One of my favorite
  clients this year was a young woman exploring her
  sexual identity. She came out to her family, who
  are devout LDS, and they were very cruel to her,
  to the point that they really don't have a
  relationship anymore. My clients who are GLBT
  really have to put up with. It's painful. I
  supported my client anyway I could and I often
  cried over her experience. I don't care what
  people believe. The GLBT student deals with
  pressures that are related to their sexual
  identity and those pressures are usually brought
  to the surface in between the ages of
  18-24. -University Psychologist

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The Cass Sexual Identity Model

• Cass, V. C. (1979). Homosexual identity
  formation A theoretical model. Journal of
  Homosexuality, 4, 219-235.

25
Step ONE Identity Confusion "Could I be gay?"

• This stage begins with the person's first
  awareness of gay or lesbian thoughts, feelings,
  and attractions.
• The person typically feels confused and
  experiences turmoil.
• Task Who am I? Accept, Deny, Reject.

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Possible Responses

• Will avoid information about lesbians and gays
  inhibit behavior deny homosexuality
  ("experimenting," "an accident," "just drunk").
  Males May keep emotional involvement separate
  from sexual contact Females May have deep
  relationships that are non-sexual, though
  strongly emotional.

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Step TWO Identity Comparison "Maybe this does
apply to me."

• In this stage, the person accepts the possibility
  of being gay or lesbian and examines the wider
  implications of that tentative commitment.
  Self-alienation becomes isolation.
• Task Deal with social alienation.

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Possible Responses

• May begin to grieve for losses and the things she
  or he will give up by embracing their sexual
  orientation. Accepts lesbian, gay definition of
  behavior but maintains "heterosexual" identity of
  self. Tells oneself, "It's only temporary" I'm
  just in love with this particular woman/man," etc.

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Step THREE Identity Tolerance "I'm not the
only one."

• The person acknowledges that he or she is likely
  gay or lesbian and seeks out other gay and
  lesbian people to combat feelings of isolation.
  Increased commitment to being lesbian or gay.
• Task Decrease social alienation by seeking out
  lesbians and gays.

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Possible Responses

• Beginning to have language to talk and think
  about the issue. Recognition that being lesbian
  or gay does not preclude other options.
  Accentuates difference between self and
  heterosexuals. Seeks out lesbian and gay culture
  (positive contact leads to more positive sense of
  self, negative contact leads to devaluation of
  the culture, stops growth). May try out variety
  of stereotypical roles.

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Step FOUR Identity Acceptance "I will be okay.

• The person attaches a positive connotation to his
  or her gay or lesbian identity and accepts rather
  than tolerates it. There is continuing and
  increased contact with the gay and lesbian
  culture.
• Task Deal with inner tension of no longer
  subscribing to society's norm, attempt to bring
  congruence between private and public view of
  self.

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Possible Responses

• Accepts gay or lesbian self-identification. May
  compartmentalize "gay life." Maintains less and
  less contact with heterosexual community.
  Attempts to "fit in" and "not make waves" within
  the gay and lesbian community. Begins some
  selective disclosures of sexual identity. More
  social coming out more comfortable being seen
  with groups of men or women that are identified
  as "gay." More realistic evaluation of situation.

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Step FIVE Identity Pride "I've got to let
people know who I am!"

• The person divides the world into heterosexuals
  and homosexuals, and is immersed in gay and
  lesbian culture while minimizing contact with
  heterosexuals. Us-them quality to
  political/social viewpoint.
• Task Deal with incongruent views of
  heterosexuals.

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Possible Responses

• Splits world into "gay" (good) and "straight"
  (bad). Experiences disclosure crises with
  heterosexuals as he or she is less willing to
  "blend in." Identifies gay culture as sole source
  of support all gay friends, business
  connections, social connections.

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Step SIX Identity Synthesis

• The person integrates his or her sexual identity
  with all other aspects of self, and sexual
  orientation becomes only one aspect of self
  rather than the entire identity.
• Task Integrate gay and lesbian identity so that
  instead of being the identity, it is an aspect of
  self.

36
Possible Responses

• Continues to be angry at heterosexism, but with
  decreased intensity. Allows trust of others to
  increase and build. Gay and lesbian identity is
  integrated with all aspects of "self." Feels all
  right to move out into the community and not
  simply define space according to sexual
  orientation.

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Student Voices

• It was in college that I began to realize that
  Im gay. However, it took me a long time to come
  to terms with that personally. As a college
  student I didnt feel that there was any support
  for me on campus. I had no guidance on how to
  deal with these issues at college. I wouldve
  been completely ostracized by my friends, and
  probably kicked out of college had I felt
  comfortable enough to come out - I wish the
  atmosphere at college was one of support and
  acceptance for students who struggle with these
  issues like I did.

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• I learned in Catholic school that homosexuals
  are not welcome in the Kingdom of God. I now ask
  God why He allows me to feel sexual attraction
  for other men. My feelings are strong but I
  dont know how to accept or understand them. I
  stare at the mirror everyday. I cry in the
  shower at night and while in bed I hug my pillow
  because Im lonely. My painful silence is lie a
  double-edged knife, a knife that slowly rips my
  heart and soul.
• (Manuel, 2000, p. 43)

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• As a whole, my college experience was pretty
  positive. I made the choice to repress any kind
  of gay tendencies I may have had. I really only
  thought about those issues from time to time or
  when I was at home for the summer when I had
  more freedom to think about express those issues.

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• The personal agony and the loneliness I felt
  throughout my first college year were almost
  unbearable, and such feelings are still with me.
  Nevermind that I had moved to the United States
  from Mexico during my high school years and
  couldnt speak English. Nevermind that I had to
  struggle through two years of high school barely
  understanding what the teacher said or that I had
  to adjust to a new way of living, of looking at
  things, and behaving, since cultural and familial
  customs in the US are quite different form those
  in Mexico. None of that compares with the
  emotional and spiritual struggle of accepting
  that Im gay.
• (Manuel, 2000, p.43)

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Institutions Mission Statements
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Cal Poly Pomona

• Cal Poly Pomonas mission is to advance learning
  and knowledge by linking theory and practice in
  all disciplines, and to prepare students for
  lifelong learning, leadership, and careers in a
  changing, multicultural world.

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University of California Los Angeles

• UCLAs primary purpose as a public research
  university is the creation, dissemination,
  preservation, and application of knowledge for
  the betterment of our global society. To fulfill
  this mission, UCLA is committed to academic
  freedom in its fullest terms we value open
  access to information, free and lively debate
  conducted with mutual respect for individuals,
  and freedom from intolerance. In all of our
  pursuits, we strive at once for excellence and
  diversity, recognizing that openness and
  inclusion produce true quality. These values
  underlie our three institutional responsibilities.

44
Pasadena City College

• The mission of Pasadena City College is
  successful student learning. The College provides
  high-quality, academically rigorous instruction
  in a comprehensive transfer and vocational
  curriculum, as well as learning activities
  designed to improve the economic condition and
  quality of life of the diverse communities within
  the College service area.

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Why?

• Sexual orientation Many students come to
  college with confusion about their sexual
  identity. They may have had feelings of
  attraction to someone of their same gender before
  college but never acted on it or disclosed these
  feelings. The college experience and the
  separation from old relationships and patterns
  allows the student to explore these feelings for
  the first time. Depending on the students
  background, this exploration can lead to
  uncomfortable feelings. The student may have
  questions regarding same-sex relationships.
• From Lynn University Counseling Center Boca
  Raton, FL
• http//tinyurl.com/2zys6x

46

• The conflict between what I was and what I
  wanted to be nearly devoured me.
• -(Liebmann, 2000, p. 169)

47
Remember

• All professionals have different beliefs and
  values regarding homosexuality
• All professionals have different skills for
  supporting students
• All professionals will approach student issues
  differently

48
Remember

• All straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender
  students are individuals with different
  experiences and different levels of maturity.
• Many students struggling with sexual identity may
  not have a strong network of support, especially
  in regards to their sexual identity.
• Once students leave your presence they may be
  going out into an environment that unfriendly,
  non-supportive, and condemning.

49
Remember

• Many students who struggle with their sexual
  identity may also be struggling with a disconnect
  between their inner battle and their faith.
• Students in college are usually struggling with
  an array of development issues their sexual
  identity may only be one of them. They may be
  feeling marginalized in other areas of their life
  as well.

50
Hard Guarantees

• We will not all agree on exactly what to say to
  students struggling with sexual identity
• We will not be able to help every straight, gay,
  lesbian, bisexual, transgender student
• We will not hear from every student struggling
  with sexual identity issues
• We will make mistakes.

51
HoweverBe Empowered

• If we speak from a place of sincerity,
  compassion, and respect we will best serve our
  students
• As a group of almost 30 professionals seeking to
  support students, we will have a great impact
• If we continue in our work to provide spaces that
  are safe and supportive, our students will come
  to us.
• As long as we remain committed to growth and
  development, we will learn from our mistakes.

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Examine and Know

• What your personal beliefs and values are
  regarding homosexuality
• What is your degree of willingness to be open
• What are your unique strengths that help you to
  serve students

53
Tips For Your Toolbox

• Ensure confidentiality, and also be wise
• Be aware of your space. If you sense that the
  conversation needs to be in a private area,
  choose an appropriate location. However, keep
  your conversation visible or in a location
  designed for counseling.

54

• Ensure respect
• One thing I would say right off the bat dont
  treat someone different because of who they are.
  Treat them with the same respect or humanity that
  you would treat any person. Show them that same
  respect. Even if you are uncomfortable with
  someone who is gay, show them respect. You dont
  have to accept who they are, but dont treat them
  any differently.
• Some gays probably want to be treated differently
  Im not exactly what you call an activist,
  though.
• -anonymous student

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• Challenge negative or derogatory remarks
• Help students to be aware of their language, and
  how they use terms related with sexual identity
  struggles. That is so gay. As professionals,
  we must also be mindful of the language we use to
  ensure that we are promoting an atmosphere of
  respect.

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• Be honest
• When we met I confessed, after much hesitation,
  that I might be gay. Although he didnt feel
  that being a practicing homosexual was morally
  right, he demonstrated nothing but compassion.
• -anonymous student

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Ponder

• Grace and truth build the bridges of respect.
  Respect not only opens people's ears and hearts
  to your ideas, respect opens you. Respect leaves
  the door open for new truth. Respect animates
  your intellect. Respect will allow you to accept
  the possibility that those with whom you sharply
  disagree might be sources of truth.
• -William P. Robinson, President of Whitworth
  UniversityFall 2007 Convocation address,
  September 6, 2007
• http//www.whitworth.edu/Administration/Presidents
  Office/Messages/Fall2007Convocation.htm

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Creating a Safe Zone

• Many college campuses around the country have
  created Safe Zone or Safe Space programs.
• These constitute offices working specifically for
  LGBT students as well as incorporating offices on
  campus to participate in their Safe projects.
• Typically this means that if a campus office
  chooses to participate, they display a sticker in
  their office window signaling to LGBT students,
  or students struggling with sexual
  identity/orientation issues, that it is a place
  where they can go if they need help, support, or,
  resources.

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• Displaying the Safe Zone sticker is a sign
  that you are aware of, and sensitive to, the
  concerns of LGBTQI people. It also indicates a
  willingness and a commitment on your part to
  provide an atmosphere of tolerance, acceptance,
  and assistance that is free of judgment (UCSB
  Safe Zone Project).

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What can I expect if I create a Safe Zone?

• Affected students/faculty/staff may self-censor
  their speech less, providing a more genuine and
  realistic exchange.
• If you work on a campus that does not have a Safe
  project, you may be the only contact for gay,
  lesbian, bisexual or transgender students. This
  does not mean you must be an expert or need to
  have all the answers, but you need to know what
  resources are on your campus or in the community.
• This does not mean you must hear intimate
  self-disclosures. You can still maintain
  boundaries in your relationships with students
  who are LGBT or struggling with sexual identity
  issues.

61

• This does not mean others will necessarily assume
  that you are gay, lesbian, bisexual or
  transgender.
• You will, however be seen as an ally and expected
  to demonstrate the qualities of an ally.

62
Qualities of an Ally

• Has worked to develop an understanding of the
  needs of gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and
  transgender people.
• Chooses to align with gays, lesbians, bisexuals
  and responds to their needs.
• Is able to acknowledge and articulate how
  patterns of oppression have operated in his/her
  life.
• Does not make assumptions about individuals
  sexual identity or orientation.
• Expects to make some mistakes but does not use it
  as an excuse for non-action.
• Remembers that the LGBT person has probably spent
  hours preparing to come out to you and is sharing
  this information with the understanding that
  there is a risk involved.

63

• Understand that the person who has come out to
  you has not changed. He or she is still the same
  person. Don't fall into the trap of seeing the
  person only as their sexual orientation. Sexual
  orientation is a component of a person, not the
  sum total of the person.
• Remember that often actions speak louder than
  words. Having gay-friendly reading material in
  your home or office will help LGBT students
  identify you as a safe person to talk with about
  sexual orientation. Also, being seen with
  lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender people
  suggests you are a safe person.

64

• Be honest with yourself
• Create a climate that attracts individuals from
  diverse backgrounds.
• Identify resources.
• Create and encourage a campus culture that is
  safe, secure, diverse, and accepting for all
• Provide resources for LGBT individuals on the
  campus and in the community
• Identify other heterosexual allies that support
  LGBT individuals

65
Resources

• University of California Irvine, Lesbian Gay
  Bisexual Transgender Resource Center,
  http//www.lgbtrc.uci.edu/resources.html
• Campus Climate Index, http//www.campusclimateinde
  x.org/default.aspx
• University of California Riverside, LGBT Resource
  Center, http//out.ucr.edu/
• University of Missouri-Kansas, Lesbian Gay
  Bisexual Transgender Programs and Services,
  http//www.umkc.edu/lgbt/
• University of California Santa Barbara, Safe Zone
  Project, http//www.sa.ucsb.edu/sgd/pdf/safebroch0
  4.pdf