Eliminating Wordiness

1
Eliminating Wordiness

• Think of your draft as a puzzle to solve it,
  you have to find and eliminate the superfluities
  that obscure your meaning. The object is to
  delete as many words as possible without
  sacrificing substance or nuance.
  
• -Claire Kehrwald Cook

2
Avoid Be Verbs

• am
• are
• is
• was
• were
• being
• been
• Be verbs are considered actionless verbs and
  should be changed to active verbs when
  appropriate.

3
Avoid Be Verbs

• It is better to become a nurse instead of a
  teacher.

Nursing pays better than teaching does.
4
WARNING!!!

• Sometimes you should use be verbs.
• I am 21 years old.
• Or if the agentthe one performing the actionis
  unknown, you may use the passive voice.
• The walls had been defaced by graffiti.

5
Active vs. Passive Verbs

• In sentences written in the active voice, the
  subject performs the action expressed by the
  verb.
• Roseanne wrote the paper.

6
Active vs. Passive Verbs

• In sentences written in the passive voice, the
  subject receives the action expressed by the
  verb.
• The paper was written by Roseanne.

7
Active vs. Passive

• Passive The Old Man and the Sea was written by
  Hemingway.

Active Hemingway wrote The Old Man and the Sea.
8
Active vs. Passive

• Passive It is believed by some critics that
  Psycho is Hitchcocks greatest film.

Active Some critics believe that Psycho is
Hitchcocks greatest film.
9
WARNING!!!

• At times, it may be appropriate to write in the
  passive voice. The passive voice is preferred in
  scientific papers.
• Experiments have been conducted to test the
  safety of generic pharmaceuticals.
• English and Humanities papers, however, are
  written in the active voice.
• Dr. Harker conducted experiments to test the
  safety of generic pharmaceuticals.

10
Condense Phrases into Single Words

• The employee with ambition got the promotion.

The ambitious employee got the promotion.
11
Condense Phrases into Single Words

• Rob decided to retake the class at a later date
  in time.

Rob decided to retake the class later.
12
All these phrases can be condensed into one word.

• the reason for
• for the reason that
• due to the fact that
• in light of the fact that
• considering the fact that
• this is why

• because, since, why

13
All these phrases can be condensed into one word.

• on the occasion of
• in a situation in which
• under circumstances in which

• when

14
All these phrases can be condensed into one word.

• must, should

• it is crucial that
• it is necessary that
• there is a need for
• it is important that
• cannot be avoided

15
All these phrases can be condensed into one word.

• may, might, could

• it is possible that
• there is a chance that
• it could happen that
• the possibility exists for

16
Avoid Repetitive Wording

• end result
• past experience
• share in common
• small in size

• end
• past
• share
• small

17
Avoid Repetitive Wording

• made a discovery
• made an attempt
• made an accusation
• made an appearance
• made a decision

• discovered
• attempted
• accused
• appeared
• decided

18
Avoid Repetitive Wording

• I thought in my head
• I thought to myself
• In my mind, I think
• In my opinion, I think

• I thought
• I think