RUG: Writing with focus, precision, and concision

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RUG Writing with focus, precision, and concision

• Melody Montgomery

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Todays Session

• Focus Structure Your Writing.
• Precision Unravel Nouns.
• Concision Activate Sentences. Avoid Redundancy.
• Revision Writing IS re-writing.

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• Focus

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Focus

• Starting the Writing Process
• Read the instructions carefully.
• Brainstorm, outline, and diagram ideas.
• Expand outline into sentences, and link ideas
  with transitions.
• Work on daily (plan for 4-6 months of writing and
  preparation for grant proposals).
• Plan for editing and submission time.
• Review throughout.
• Write and re-write get feedback, edit, and
  proofread.
• Do not worry about your first draft(s).

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Making Your Ideas Clear
Focus

• Tie paragraphs together to tell a story.
• Use transition words to link ideas.
• Define terms, even if you think they are known.
• Avoid long sentences (keep each at 15-20 words).
• Breakdown ideas.
• Keep the subject close to the verb.
• Avoid using the same words over and over.

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Structure of a paragraph
Focus
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Structure of a paragraph
Focus
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Structure of a paragraph
Focus
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Focus

• Use transition words to link ideas.

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Transitions
Focus
For continuing a common line of
reasoning consequently, furthermore,
additionally, also, To change line of
reasoning however, on the other hand, but, yet,
nevertheless, despite Contrast and
Comparison contrast, conversely, instead,
likewise, on one hand, similarly Emphasisabove
all, chiefly, with attention to, especially,
particularly, singularly Exemplifyingchiefly,
especially, for instance, in particular,
markedly, namely, including Exceptionaside
from, barring, beside, except, excepting,
excluding, exclusive of, save
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Transitions cond.
Focus
Consequence accordingly, as a result,
consequently, for this reason, hence Generalizing
as a rule, as usual, for the most part,
generally, usually Illustrationfor example, for
instance, for one thing, as an illustration, as
an example, Similaritycomparatively, coupled
with, correspondingly, identically, likewise,
similar Restatementin essence, in other words,
namely, that is, that is to say, in short, in
brief Sequenceat first, first of all, to begin
with, in the first place, at the same time, for
now,
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Focus

• Tell a clear and interesting story that
  emphasizes your focus. Structure sentences to
  stress your key points.

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Focus

• Stress Position
• Subject Old Information
• Verb Action
• Stress Position New Information
• Examples
• Although the treatment is highly effective, it
  has significant side effects.
• Although the treatment has significant side
  effects, it is highly effective.

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Expletive constructions
Focus

• Avoid expletive constructions
• They begin with there are/is or it is
• Be careful when using it/they/etc. Is it clear
  what it is referring to?

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• Precision

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Long Compound Noun Strings or Noun Stacks
Precision

• Be cautious when using long strings of nouns can
  form multiple meanings.
• Unraveling
• Properly use hyphens.
• Read the phrase backwards.
• Use prepositions to break into modifying units.

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Unraveling Noun Strings/Noun Stacks
Precision

• neuron-specific autophagy-deficient mice
• mice deficient in neuron-specific autophagy
•  
• monocyte secreted HIV-related stimuli
• HIV-related stimuli secreted by monocytes
•  
• LC-MS/MS-defined target concentrations
• target concentrations defined by LC-MS/MS
•  

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Precision
Use Parallel Verb Tense

• We will be testing our hypothesis using
  innovative methods to examine the data after we
  have analyzed it quantitatively.
• Using innovative methods, we will thoroughly test
  our hypothesis, examine the data, and
  quantitatively analyze our results.

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Precision
Magnitude v. Elevation higher
elevation increased more Logic v.
Time although, but, whereas logic since, as
time because logic subsequently
time consequently logic
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Precision
Singular v. Plural phenomena
plural phenomenon singular data
plural datum singular criteria
plural criterion singular Affect and
Effect affect verb effect noun Compliment
and Complement Compliment Positive
Statement Complement Adds to
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Precision
Capitalizing Job Titles General Rule
Capitalize title when it precedes the name, and
do not capitalize the title if it follows the
name. Helpful link http//grammar.ccc.commnet.
edu/grammar/capitals.htm
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Precision
Comma Usage

• Can use in place of parentheses.
• Cytokines (small cell-signaling protein molecules)
  pair to these receptors.
• Cytokines, which are small cell-signaling protein 
  molecules, pair to these
• Use before which
• Use before conjunction separating two complete
  statements. Note however is not a connection
• Use after transition words (e.g., Furthermore,
  Next,)
• Use to separate nouns (DNA, RNA, and tRNA)
• Serial comma In American English the serial
  comma is standard in most non-journalistic
  writing and follows the Chicago Manual of Style.

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Precision

• Which That
• Which follows a comma and introduces
  non-essential clauses
• The transmembrane protein CD22, which is a
  negative regulator of cellular signaling
• That does not follow commas. Introduces essential
  clauses
• By examining the pathway that negatively
  regulates cellular signaling,
• i.e. e.g.
• i.e. id est. That is.
• Nucleic acids (i.e., DNA and RNA)
• e.g. exempli grati. For example.
• Macromolecules (e.g., nucleic acids)

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Precision
Hyphen Punctuation RulesUsed for compound noun
phrases

• Use between nouns of equal importance
  (eye-opener)
• Use between two numbers spelled out (e.g.,
  twenty-four)
• Use to link two nouns or words that modify
  another noun (e.g., real-time experiment,
  well-run practices)
• Note, modifiers ending in ly are not typically
  hyphenated.

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Revision
Hyphens Clarify Longer Clauses

• Three-hundred-year-old trees An indeterminate
  number of trees that are 300 years old.
• Three hundred-year-old trees Three trees that
  are 100 years old.
• Three-hundred year-old trees 300 trees that are
  one year old.
• Disease causing poor nutrition A disease that
  causes poor nutrition
• Disease-causing poor nutrition Poor nutrition
  that causes disease
• Multiple extra cellular signals Many additional
  cellular signals
• Multiple extra-cellular signals Many signals
  that are outside the cell
• Cancer causing mutagenesis Cancer that causes
  mutagenesis
• Cancer-causing mutagenesis Mutagenesis that
  causes cancer

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Concision
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Eliminating Wordiness
Concision
Knows Takes Indicate Suggest If

• Is aware of/has knowledge of
• Is taking
• Are indicative of
• Are suggestive of
• In the event

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Avoiding Redundancy
Concision

• Past History
• Final outcome
• Repeat again
• Actual facts
• Refer back
• Absolutely essential
• Basic fundamentals
• Close proximity
• Desirable benefits
• Entirely eliminate
• Still persists

http//grammar.about.com/od/words/a/redundancies.h
tm
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Phrases that You Can Omit
Concision

• Has a tendency to In the event that
• In the process of
• All things considered
• Has the ability to
• As far as __ is concerned
• In light of the fact that
• By means of
• For all intents and purposes
• It seems that
• In the nature of
• At the same time as

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Let the Subject Do the Work
Concision

• Keep subject and verb close.
• Our theory, which was adopted using the basic
  principles of human healthcare ethics that
  contains four principles, is a grounded theory
  approach.
• Our grounded theory approach adopts the four
  basic principles of human of healthcare ethics.
• Use active verbs and activate sentences.
• We will develop a cell line - rather than a
  cell line will be developed
• The ICP data show - rather than It can be seen
  from the ICP data

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Use Strong Action Words
Concision

• Examples
• accelerate, compile, compose, delineate,
  describe, detect, determine, develop, elevate,
  evaluate, expand, formulate, generate,
  hypothesize, illustrate, implement, induce,
  inflict, instigate, interpret, isolate, maintain,
  manipulate, perform, placate, predict, prepare,
  prescribe, produce, promote, prompt, propel,
  protect, reduce, repair, research, support,
  synthesize, target, test, transfer, undertake,
  utilize, yield
• Examples of active verbs http//www.cvisual.com/f
  ilm-techniques/writer-action-verb-list.pdf

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Concision
Reduce Prepositions

• Original An understanding of these recurring
  cytogenetic changes has led to the molecular
  dissection of specific chromosomal regions and
  has resulted in the isolation and cloning of
  various proto-oncogenes
• Revision Because we better understand these
  recurring cytogenetic changes, specific
  chromosomal regions have been molecularly
  dissected resulting in isolation and cloning of
  various proto-oncogenes.

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Exercise Converting Passive to Active Voice
Concision

• Passive Sentence
• (Noun) (Verb phrase) By (Noun)
• The true subject is at the end
• Find the true subject.
• Find the verb.
• Organize into subject-verb structure.

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Converting Passive to Active Voice
Concision

• The ABC pathway is blocked by elevating the
  expression of the XYZ protein.
• Increased expression of the XYZ protein blocks
  the ABC pathway.

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Converting Passive to Active Voice
Concision

• There were a number of questions regarding the
  experimental design and several concerns were
  pointed out by the group members.
• The group members raised a number of questions
  and some concerns regarding the experimental
  design.

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Avoid Weak Qualifiers
Concision
If, Try, Hope, May, Might, Should, Could,
Believe, Possibly use EXPECT.
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Concision
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Revision
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Revision

• Before

• Revised

• It is unknown why such phenomena occur.
• Because the screening process requires proof of
  certification, it is not necessary to collect
  this information.

• At this point in time, we
• cannot ascertain the reason
• as to why such phenomena
• occur.
• In light of the fact that
• certification is required, we
• consider it irrelevant to inquire
• regarding this aspect of
• ones background given that
• It has been addressed in the
• screening process.

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Editing and Proofreading Tips
Revision

• Edit and proofread in blocks of time. Allow your
  self to step away and look at fresh.
• Try changing the look and formatting of your
  document.
• Use a highlighter to mark the changes that you
  made for printed edits.
• Create a timeline schedule time to
  write/practice

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Checklist
Revision

• Read out loud.
• Replace/unravel long noun phrases.
• Is your train of thought clear (correct modifiers
  and prepositions)?
• Check sentence variety (impact short sentence).
• Check that you do not use the same words and
  phrases over and over (thesaurus.com).
• Precise/unambiguous word choices.

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Review

• Structuring your writing
• Positions of emphasis
• Let the subjects do the work
• Paragraph organization
• Activating verbs
• Use active voice
• Strong verbs
• Avoid nominalization
• Eliminating wordiness
• Prune the redundant
• Reduce weak qualifiers
• Avoid clichés and empty generalities

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Email-address m.montgomery_at_unmc.edu Phone 4
02.559.4132 http//www.unmc.edu/research_editori
al.htm