Reducing Wordiness

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Reducing Wordiness Practice
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1. Eliminate words that say nothing. You may
use different words.
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It is necessary that we reach a decision about
whether or not it is desirable to make a request
that the office be allowed the opportunity and
option of hiring additional workers. (33)

• We need to decide whether to request hiring
  additional workers. (10)

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The purchase of a new computer will allow us to
produce form letters quickly. In addition,
return-on-investment could be calculated for
proposed repairs. Another use is that the
computer could check databases to make sure that
claims are paid only once. (41)
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• b. (cont.) A new computer would allow us to
  produce form letters quickly, calculate
  return-on-investments for proposed repairs, and
  check databases to make sure that claims are paid
  only once. (30)

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• OR
• A new computer would allow us to
• Produce form letters quickly,
• Calculate return-on-investment for repairs, and
• Check databases to avoid duplicating claim
  payments. (23)

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There are many subjects which interest me. (7)

• Many subjects interest me. (4)

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There are many businesses that are active in
community and service work. (12)

• Many businesses are active in community and
  service work. (9)

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2. Use gerunds and infinitives to make these
sentences shorter and smoother.
gerunds -ing form of a verb/used as a
noun. infinitive verb form preceded by to
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Our decision to enter the South American market
has precedence in the past activities of the
company.(17)

• Entering the South American market is our top
  priority. (9)

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3. Combine sentences to show how ideas are
related and to eliminate unnecessary words.
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Some customers are profitable for companies.
Other customers actually cost the company money.
(13)

• While some customers are profitable, others
  actually cost the company money. (11)

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If you are unable to come to the session on HMOs,
please call the human resources office. You will
be able to schedule another time to ask questions
you may have about the various options. (35)

• If you are unable to come to the session on HMOs,
  please call the human resources office to
  schedule another time for your questions. (24)

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Major Japanese firms often have employees who
know English well. US companies negotiating with
Japanese companies should bring their own
interpreters.
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