Dealing with Conflicts

1
Dealing with Conflicts

• A useful
• P.U.R.P.L.E. People Skill!

2
What is a conflict?

• A conflict is a disagreement between two or more
  people or between two or more choices.

3
Sources of Conflict include

• Differing values or beliefs, goals and standards
  individuals may possess
• The availability of resources including time,
  money and material possessions
• Psychological needs or things that make a person
  feel important and secure (friendships, status,
  accomplishments)
• The inner desire to keep oneself or others safe

4
There are four types of conflict.

• Intrapersonal conflict
• Interpersonal conflict
• Intragroup conflict
• Intergroup conflict

5
The two types of conflict that involve
individuals are

• An intrapersonal conflict is a conflict that
  occurs within a person.
• An example of intrapersonal conflict is when a
  person must make decide between studying for a
  test or going to a game with his/her friends.

• An interpersonal conflict is a conflict that
  occurs between two or more people.
• Examples of this include arguments between two or
  more people or disagreements.

6
Group conflicts are defined as

• Intragroup conflict which occurs between people
  who identify themselves as belonging to the same
  group.
• For example when group members cant agree on
  plans or activities for the group.

• Intergroup conflict is a conflict that occurs
  between two or more groups of people including
  families, schools, gangs, religious groups and/or
  nations.
• Examples include school rivalry, lawsuits or war.

7
There are risks associated with conflicts
including

• Hidden anger is anger that is not recognized or
  is expressed in a harmful way.
• Hostility is a feeling of ill will and antagonism
  that may grow from hidden anger.
• When passive-aggressive behavior occurs, the
  person appears to be cooperative and pleasant on
  the outside while feeling angry and hostile.

• Destructive relationships can occur when people
  practice conflict avoidance and conflict
  confrontation. This occurs because they do not
  share their true feelings.
• Close relationships are prevented from developing
  because it is hard to feel safe when people are
  hostile and aggressive.
• Increased violence can occur because of the anger
  and hostility involved with unresolved conflicts.

8
When a conflict occurs, people usually respond
using one of following Conflict Response Styles.

• Conflict Avoidance occurs when a person denies
  that there is conflict or attempts to please
  other at his/her expense.
• Conflict Confrontation is when a person attempts
  to settle a disagreement in a hostile, defiant
  and aggressive way.
• Conflict Resolution is a style that uses skills
  to resolve the conflict in a healthful, safe,
  legal, respectful and nonviolent manner.

9
Conflict Resolution involves skills used to
respond to conflict so everyone feels they are
involved in a win-win situation.

• There are 10 steps or skills used in Conflict
  Resolution.
• Remain Calm.
• Set the tone.
• Avoid blaming, interrupting threats, affirm
  others, be sincere, avoid put-downs, reserve
  judgments, use positive nonverbal messages,
  separate the person from the problem.

10
Conflict Resolution Skills continued

1. Take responsibility for personal actions.
2. Use I-messages to express needs and feelings.
3. Listen to the needs and feelings of others.
4. Define the conflict.

11
Conflict Resolution Skills continued

• 7. List and discuss possible solutions.
  Evaluate each solution.
• Will the solution result in actions that are
  healthful?
• Will the solution result in actions that are
  safe?
• Will the solution result in actions that are
  legal?
• Will the solution result in actions that are
  respectful of everyone who is involved?
• Will the solution result in actions that are
  nonviolent?

12
Conflict Resolution Skills continued

1. Agree on a solution.
2. Keep your word and follow the solution upon which
   you agree.
3. Ask for the assistance of a trusted adult if the
   conflict cannot be resolved.

13
Sometimes a third person is needed to help those
involved in a conflict reach a solution.

• Mediation is a process in which a third person,
  the mediator, helps people involved in the
  conflict reach a solution.
• Peer mediation is when the mediator is a person
  who is similar in age or status to those involved
  in the conflict.

14
Mediation involves seven steps

1. Keep a neutral position. Listen to both sides.
2. Set ground rules. Opposing sides agree to treat
   each other with respect and to listen.

• Define the conflict. Each side tells their side
  of the story and how they feel about what has
  happened.
• Identify solutions to the conflict. Opposing
  sides brainstorm solutions.

15
Mediation continued

• 5. Evaluate suggested solutions. Will the
  solutions result in actions that are healthful,
  safe, legal, respectful and nonviolent? Is it a
  solution a responsible adult would agree to
  follow?

1. Agree to try a solution. Both side agree to try
   a solution that has been agreed upon.
2. Schedule a follow-up meeting. Schedule a meeting
   to see if the agreement is working.

16
Please get out your journal paper!

• Respond to the open response question on the next
  slide.
• Place the completed journal entry (answer to the
  open response question) in your journal or
  notebook.

17
Answer all parts to this question using only one
side of your notebook paper.

• John and Carlos play soccer on the same team.
  During one of the games, John became angry when
  several players on the other team began to push
  him and Carlos and call them names. He pushed
  them back and received a warning from the
  official. He became even angrier and was kicked
  out of the game.
•  A. List 4 appropriate ways John can deal with
  anger.
• B. List and explain 3 ways to resolve
  conflicts.