Parenting: Toddlers-teens

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Parenting Toddlers-teens
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(No Transcript)
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The Parents RoleOverall goals of DISCIPLINE

• Teach appropriate behavior
• Provide children with skills (social knowledge)
• Punishment tells you what NOT to do guidance and
  discipline tell you what TO do
• (e.g., Stop running! vs. Walk!

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Key (but often forgotten) aspects of effective
discipline

• Consistency
• Warm parent-child relationship
• Explanations (rationale)
• Induction/empathy
• Positive Discipline (81 ratio for positive
  negative words/actions)

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The Parents RoleWhat to do for discipline?
How to do time outs CORRECTLY

• Time-outs
• (or time-ins?)
• Withdrawal
• of privileges
• Positive discipline

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What happens with inconsistent discipline?
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What if my strategies dont work? What to do then?

• Stay calm and objective
• Pick battles carefully
• Acknowledge childs feelings (e.g., You are
  upset that we cant stay longer.)
• Specifically state rules that were violated
• Joint attention
• Logical consequences
• Comments directed toward behavior
• I statements (I cant hear you when you
  whine./I dont like to hear that word.)

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What else? (especially for younger children)

• Make use of slow transitions (In five minutes
  (five fingers) we are going to eat lunch.)
• Use signals, non-verbal cues (big eyes, finger
  to lips for quiet)
• Teach cause and effect (When you yell, it wakes
  the baby.)
• Keep kids busy! Go outside.
• Create routines

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What else? (particularly for younger children)

• Redirect childs behavior
• Ignore the behavior
• Praise alternative actions
• Give choices (Do you want the blue or red cup?)

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What else?

• Request words, discussion (Use your words.)
• Provide a physical outlet (all ages!)
• Avoid using you (You are too loud. Why cant
  you listen?)
• Encourage airing of viewpoints (within reason)
• Explain the rules!
• Make life at home fun
• Prepare in advance for difficult situations
• Promise and provide one-on-one time (all ages!)
• Stay one step ahead
• Other suggestions?

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How to talk to children

• Dont be too polite (e.g., Sweetie, would you
  mind putting the hamster down, please?) -issue
  clear commands instead (e.g., Put the hamster
  down please.)
• Explain some, but not too much depending upon age
  and child (e.g., When you hit your brother, it
  makes him sad and it hurts his feelings-and his
  arm)

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How to talk to children

• Dont repeat yourself too much (e.g., Ive told
  you a thousand times to clean up your room!)
• Dont be so loud/yell (e.g., I SAID STOP RUNNING
  AND COME OVER HERE NOW!)
• Stay calm and cool-say it once or twice