Raising Children In a New Culture

1

• Raising Children In a New Culture

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Challenges for parents

• Weather
• Language learn English
• Find a place to live
• Find a job
• Go to school

3
Challenges for parents

• Parents want to keep their culture - food and
  customs. Children want to eat pizza and
  Macdonalds like their friends.
• Children adapt faster than their parents.

4
Challenges for parents

• The culture in Canada is not familiar. It is
  sometimes difficult to understand.
• Family members are not here to help you.
• Parents must do many things - take care of
  children, cook,
• clean, grocery shopping AND work at a job.

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Challenges for parents

• Disciplining children in Canada is different than
  in the home country.
• Children have rights. Parents do not understand
  the laws in Canada.
• Children have too much freedom. Parents feel
  they do not have control.
• Parents worry about their childrens safety.

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Challenges for Parents

• Do parents have rights in Canada?
• Parents have the right to set limits for their
  children.
• Parents have the right to make rules for the
  family.
• Parents have the right to teach their culture to
  their children as long as their beliefs do not
  break the law in Canada.

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Challenges for Parents

• What are parents responsibilities in Canada?
• Parents are responsible to
• look after their children until they are 18 years
  old
• provide food and clothing
• provide a safe home for their children
• make sure children go to school

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Challenges for children

• Language learn English
• School is different
• Children are lonely no friends
• Bullying at school

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Challenges for children

• Children are growing up in 2 cultures.
• Children want to please their parents.
• They also want to be like their
• Canadian friends.
• Children may think they do not belong
• to either culture.

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Values

• Values are beliefs that are very important to us.
• We want to teach these values to our children.
• People can have different ways of seeing the same
  thing. It doesnt always mean that one person is
  wrong.

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What do you see?
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Values

• Our values can change when
• we get new information,
• our belief or value does not help us in the new
  country, or
• we learn a new way to do something.

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Changing Values / Adaptation

• Adapting to a new culture change.
• Change happens slowly little by little.
• Keep some beliefs from your culture.
• Choose some beliefs from Canadian culture.

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Find a balance between 2 cultures.
your culture
new culture
Take the good things from your culture and
Canadian culture.
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Discipline and Punishment

• Discipline is NOT the same as punishment.

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Discipline

• Setting rules and limits for children
• Listening to children
• Solving problems with children
• Setting a good example for children

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Discipline

• Discipline teaches children how to behave well.
• Discipline teaches children how to change
  behaviour.

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Examples of Punishment

• Hitting or spanking
• Using physical force
• Calling the child names
• Making the child feel bad about himself or
  herself (put downs)
• Threatening the child
• Yelling or screaming at the child

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Punishment

• Punishment makes children afraid.
• Punishment does not teach children to change
  behaviour.

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What kind of family are you?

• (Barbara Coloroso)
• Brick wall family
• Jellyfish family
• Backbone family

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Brick Wall Authoritarian Parent

• Parents demand absolute obedience.
• Parents control their children no discussion.
• Children are afraid of being punished.

• (Brick Wall)

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Brick Wall (Authoritarian)

• There can be an emotional distance between
  parents and children.
• Children may rebel (drugs, alcohol, sex). This is
  a way of getting back at parents.
• Children do not learn how to make good choices.

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Jelly Fish Permissive Parent

• Parents do not set any rules for their children.
• Children do whatever they want.
• Children are confused, because they think no one
  cares.

• (Jelly Fish)

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Jelly Fish (Permissive)

• Children do not feel connected to their family.
• Teenagers may use drugs or alcohol or join a gang
  to be with friends.
• Teenagers may have a boyfriend or girlfriend to
  feel loved.

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Backbone Authoritative Parent

• Parents care about their childrens behaviour.
• Parents set rules for their children.
• Parents teach children how to think - not what to
  think.

• (back bone)

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Backbone (Authoritative)

• Children help make the rules. Parents are the
  final authority (the boss of the family).
• Children understand the rules, so they are more
  willing to accept them.
• Children can help decide what happens if they do
  not follow the rules.

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Remember

• No one can be a backbone parent 100 of the time.
  
• You can be a backbone parent most of the time.

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Communication

• Communication is how we talk to each other.
• Every culture has their own way of communicating.
  
• Some ways of communicating help us have better
  family relationships.

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Communication

• Roadblocks
• Serc 2009

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Roadblocks to communication

• Lecture or judge
• Talk and not listen
• Criticize think we are always right
• Point a finger at the other person
• Serc 2009

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Effective Communication

• Two-way communication
• Listening is important
• Serc 2009

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The Chinese characters for listen

• ?

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The Chinese characters for listen

?
eyes
ear
undivided attention
heart
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To Listen

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Eye contact

• Eye contact means looking at a persons eyes
  when you are talking to him or her.
• Do people in your culture make eye contact when
  they talk to each other?
• What does eye contact mean in your culture?

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Eye contact

• In Canada eye contact is a good thing.
• Eye contact means I am listening to what you
  say.
• Eye contact means I care about you.

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Effective Communication

• ? Two-way communication
• ? Listening is important
• ?
• The Chinese characters that make up the
  verb to listen tell us something significant
  about this skill.
• Serc 2009

eyes
ear
Undivided attention
heart
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Being a parent is an important job.

• Children and parents learn together.
• Try to understand your childs adaptation.
• Ask your child
• How does it feel to grow up in Canada?

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Being a parent is an important job.

• As a parent, you constantly learn more and more
  about your children.
• Talk about your values and beliefs.
• Set family rules together.
• Talk about behaviour that is acceptable.
• Praise your children when they behave well.
  

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Parent child relationship

• The relationship between parents and their
  children is important.
• Do not reject your child. If you do, your child
  may find connection with groups that put your
  child at risk of harm.

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Parent child relationship

• Parents and children can work together to solve
  the challenges of adapting to a new culture.

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Parent-child relationship

• Ask yourself
• What is more important? Keeping everything
  from my culture or making some changes to keep my
  family together?