AdultChild Syndrome

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Adult/Child Syndrome

• Breaking the Ties that Bind

Don Carter, MSW, LCSW www.Internet-of-the-Mind.com
dcarter73_at_msn.com 573-634-2254
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You cannot have ANOTHER relationship until you
finish your source relationships
Carl Jung
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Abandonment
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Survival Dependency Needs
- Food, Shelter, Clothing - Medical Attention -
Safety Protection
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Emotional Dependency Needs

• - Time Love
• - Attention Worth
• - Affection Approval
• Direction
• Guidance Competence
• Discipline Character

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Abandonment
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Shame
Abandonment
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Contempt
Shame
Abandonment
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The Scab of Contempt

• Externalizers
• Prone to Anger
• Self-Centered
• -Shameless Blameless
• -Harm to others
• -Rigid Boundaries
• -Anti-Dependent
• -Intrusive/Aggressive
• Counter-Dependent

Internalizers -Prone to Depress -Other-Centered -F
ull of Shame -Harm to self -Weak
Boundaries -Dependent -People Pleasers Co-Depende
nt
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Contempt
False Self
Shame
Abandonment
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External Focus
Contempt
False Self
Shame
Abandonment
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Invented Self
External Focus
Cover-Ups
Contempt
False Self
Shame
Abandonment
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Survival Roles Invented Self
Alcoholic
Co-Dependent
Hero
Rebel
Lost Child
Mascot
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Invented Self
External Focus
Cover-Ups
Contempt
False Self
Shame
Abandonment
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Invented Self
External Focus
Cover-Ups
Contempt
False Self
Shame
Abandonment
True Self
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Comfort Relief
Gambling
Alcohol
Needy people
Drugs
Sex
Work
Drama
Food
Invented Self
External Focus
Cover-Ups
Contempt
False Self
Shame
Abandonment
True Self
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Comfort Relief
Gambling
Alcohol
Needy people
Drugs
Sex
Work
Drama
Food
Invented Self
External Focus
Cover-Ups
Contempt
False Self
Shame
Abandonment
True Self
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Comfort Relief
Gambling
Alcohol
Needy people
Drugs
Sex
Work
Drama
Food
Invented Self
External Focus
Cover-Ups
Control
Contempt
False Self
Shame
Abandonment
True Self
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Crash!! HIT Bottom
Comfort Relief
Risk Taking
Gambling
Alcohol
Drugs
Sex
Work
Drama
Needy people
Food
Invented Self
External Focus
Cover-Ups
Control
Contempt
False Self
Shame
Abandonment
True Self
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Cycles of Abandonment, Shame, Contempt
Infatuation
Mask
Mask
False Self
Identification
False Self
Intimacy
True Self
True Self
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Cycles of Abandonment, Shame, Contempt
Insanity
Addictions
Addictions
Infatuation
Mask
Mask
False Self
Identification
False Self
Intimacy
True Self
True Self
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A Heros Journey
Hear a Calling AKA the Wake-Up Call Hitting
Bottom Accept the Call Ignoring the calling
causes symptoms to intensify Crossing the
Threshold Step out of your comfort zone with
the help of mentors and other supports Facing
Your Demons Fears, Cycles, and Patterns that
keep you stuck Transform the Demons
Development of New Skills Fulfill the Calling
Creating a new map of the world Homecoming
Carry the message home to pass on to others
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Comfort Relief
Gambling
Alcohol
Needy people
Drugs
Sex
Work
Drama
Food
Invented Self
External Focus
Cover-Ups
Control
Contempt
False Self
Shame
Abandonment
True Self
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Invented Self
External Focus
Cover-Ups
Control
False Self
Contempt
Shame
Abandonment
True Self
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Comfort Relief
Higher Power
External Focus
H.O.W.
False Self
Contempt
Shame
Abandonment
True Self
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Comfort Relief
Higher Power
Internal Focus
H.O.W.
Contempt
Shame
Abandonment
True Self
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Comfort Relief
Higher Power
H.O.W.
Socialization Self-Disclosure System
Sensitivity Self-Talk Self-Love Surfacing the
Pain Spirituality
True Self
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Higher Power
H.O.W.
True Self
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Elements of a Healthy Relationship
You can be you I can be me We can be us You can
grow I can grow We can grow You can have your
life I can have my life We can have our life
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If I am I because of you, and you are you
because of methen we ARE NOT. If I am I
because of me, and you are you because youthen
we ARE. Harville Hendricks
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Resources
Professional Help Individual Therapy Family
Therapy Relationship Therapy Group Process
Therapy Community Support Adult Children of
Dysfunctional Families (ACDF)
Codependents Anonymous (CoDA) Alanon/Alateen Du
al Recovery Anonymous (DRA) Alcoholics Anonymous
(AA) Narcotics Anonymous (NA) Overeaters
Anonymous (OA) Celebrate Recovery (CR) Families
Anonymous (FA)
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Adult/Child Syndrome

• Breaking the Ties that Bind

Don Carter, MSW, LCSW www.Internet-of-the-Mind.com
dcarter73_at_msn.com 573-634-2254