Communication and SelfDiscovery

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Communication and Self-Discovery
New Directors WorkshopSeminars on Academic
ComputingAugust 5, 2006

• Bruce M. Taggart
• with thanks to Jenny Cobb (AxysPointe)
• Jeannie Zappe, Carrie Regenstein, Barry Walsh
• (EDUCAUSE Institute)

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How well use our time today

• Effective communication
• Group Exercise Your Communication Behavioral
  Style
• Behavioral styles defined
• Style flex
• Group Exercise Communicating with other styles
• Active listening

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So, communication is

• Understanding between and among people
• An interdependent process
• Not necessarily agreement
• Constant. You cannot NOT communicate. We
  constantly communicate, and we constantly receive
  communication from others.

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Communication in all its channels
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Basic principles of communication

• A basic principle of communication in general
• People are not mind readers
• People judge you by your behavior, not your
  intent
• A Russian proverb says, Once a word goes out of
  your mouth, you can never swallow it again.

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How we communicate

• What people can see
• What people hear
• What we actually say
• Communication is in the mind of the recipient
  Youre just making noise if the other person
  doesnt hear you.

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To be an effective communicator

• Understand how communication occurs
• Understand your own communication behavior style
• Learn to diagnose the communication needs of
  others
• Develop listening skills
• Communicate with others in a way that is
  sensitive to and aware of their needs

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Wouldnt it be great if you could

• Understand how your preferred style of working
  comes across to other people
• Read other peoples behavior so youll know the
  best way to work with them
• Find common ground with people while maintaining
  your individuality and integrity
• Adjust your behavior in small ways that
  dramatically improve results among different
  styles
• Relate effectivelyno matter how others react to
  you

Source People Styles at Work Making
Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships
Better Robert Bolton and Dorothy Grover Bolton
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What communication style are you?

• Exercise
• Communication Behavioral Styles Inventory

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Communications Styles Grid
Less Emotional
Analytical
Driver
More Assertive
Less Assertive
Amiable
Expressive
More Emotional
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Analyticals

• Tendency towards perfectionism
• Deal with facts, data, logic, details
• Sometimes slow to make decisions
• May appear overly cautious and not good
  risk-takers
• Decisions and information provided are usually
  accurate and thoughtful
• Feelings and emotions kept inside

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Amiables

• Warm and fuzzies
• People and friendship are very important
• Like to get others involved in activities
• Good at juggling multiple tasks
• Concerned about feelings of others
• Less inclined to speak their mind openly
• Can get hurt feelings or be offended easily

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Drivers

• Strong, decisive, and results-oriented
• Provide strong guidance for others
• May appear pushy at times
• Demanding of themselves and others
• Highly self-critical
• Resent those who waste time with idle chit-chat

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Expressives

• Party people
• Love to have a good time
• Highly creative and enthusiastic
• Operate primarily by intuition
• Little tolerance for those who are not expressive
• Easily bored
• Difficult to keep on task
• Easily distracted

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Toxic relationships

• Natural tensions occur between individuals whose
  orientations are dramatically different from one
  another
• Analytical Expressive
• Driver Amiable
• Driver Expressive

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• The difference between the right word and the
  almost right word is the difference between
  lighting and the lightning bug.
• Mark Twain

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Style flex

• Versatility is the ability to communicate with
  someone else based upon the other persons
  comfort zone, the way in which the other person
  wants to communicate.
• Style flex involves tailoring your behavior so
  the way you work fits better with the other
  persons stylelike a baseball player swinging at
  different pitches
• Style flex is a temporary adjustment of a few
  behaviors at key times.

Source People Styles at Work Making
Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships
Better Robert Bolton and Dorothy Grover Bolton
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Style flex

• Style flex is not about conforming to the other
  persons point of view giving up your goals or
  withholding your opinions changing the other
  person its about changing yourself
• The primary leverage you have for improving a
  relationship is your own behavior

Source People Styles at Work Making
Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships
Better Robert Bolton and Dorothy Grover Bolton
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Communications Style Grid
Less Emotional
Driver
Analytical
More Assertive
Less Assertive
Amiable
Expressive
More Emotional
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To communicate with Analyticals

• DO
• Prepare in advance
• Be accurate
• Be direct
• List pros and cons
• Present specifics
• Be persistent
• Use timetables for actions
• Provide tangible, practical evidence

• DONT
• Be disorganized or messy
• Be casual, informal, or loud
• Rush decision-making
• Fail to follow through
• Waste time
• Leave things to chance
• Threaten or cajole
• Use opinions as evidence
• Be manipulative

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To communicate with Amiables

• DO
• Start with a personal comment
• Show sincere interest in them as people
• Listen and be responsive quickly
• Be casual and non-threatening
• Ask how questions
• Provide assurances

• DONT
• Rush into business
• Decide for them
• Stick to business constantly
• Force them to respond
• Be demanding
• Debate facts and figures
• Be abrupt
• Be patronizing

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To communicate with Drivers

• DO
• Be specific and brief
• Stick to business
• Be prepared
• Present facts clearly
• Ask what questions
• Provide alternative solutions
• Take issue with facts

• DONT
• Ramble or waste time
• Be disorganized or messy
• Leave loopholes or be unclear
• As rhetorical questions
• Make decisions for them
• Speculate
• Be directive

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To communicate with Expressives

• DO
• Be fast-moving, entertaining
• Leave time for socializing
• Talk about their goals
• Deal with the big picture
• Ask for their opinions ideas
• Provide examples from people they believe are
  important
• Offer incentives or rewards

• DONT
• Legislate
• Be cold, aloof, or tight-lipped
• Press for solutions
• Deal with details
• Be dogmatic
• Talk down to them

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• Exercise
• Communicating with the Registrar

Source Personal Styles Effective Performance,
Make your Style Work For You. David W. Merrill
and Roger H. Reid.
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Effective communication techniques

• Use feedback
• Use multiple (appropriate) channels
• Email, phone, one-on-one?
• Amount of information and timing?
• Be sensitive to the receiver
• Be aware of symbolic meanings
• Use simple language
• Use repetition

Source How To Speak and Listen
Effectively Harvey A. Robbins
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Three levels of listening

• Listening in spurts
• Hearing words, but not really listening
• Empathetic listening
• You cannot truly listen to anyone and do
  anything else at the same time.
• M. Scott Peck

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Active listening

• Reduce physical barriers
• Minimize distractions avoid or limit
  interruptions
• Control your emotions
• Evaluate the message allow silence
• Detect the central idea
• Be aware of your posture and nonverbal behavior
• Ask probing and occasional questions
• Acknowledge and respond using paraphrasing,
  perception, checking and summarizing

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Philosophy of a good communicator

• Assume 100 of the responsibility for
  understanding what the other person means.
• Assume 100 of the responsibility for making sure
  that the person you are communicating with
  understands you.

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Questions?
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Resources

• The Heart of Change Real-life Stories of How
  People Change Their Organizations. John P. Kotter
  and Dan S. Cohen (Boston, Mass Harvard Business
  School Press, 2002)
• Managing Transitions Making the Most of Change.
  William Bridges. 2nd edition. (Cambridge, Mass
  Da Capo Press, 2003)
• Breaking Out of the IT Silo The Integration
  Maturity Model. Mark R. Nelson. (Boulder,
  Colorado EDUCAUSE Center for Applied Research,
  March 15, 2005).
• Cultivating Careers Professional Development for
  Campus IT. Cynthia Golden. (Boulder, Colorado
  EDUCAUSE, 2006).