WELCOME Dealing with Lying and Stealing

1
WELCOMEDealing with Lying and Stealing

• Center for Development of Human Services
• Buffalo State College
• Under contract with
• NYS Office of Children Family Services

Approved by the New York State Office of Children
and Family Services 2010, through a training and
administrative agreement with the Research
Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS
2
Expectations
Approved by the New York State Office of
Children and Family Services 2010, through a
training and administrative agreement with the
Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS
3
Outcomes

• Clarify values regarding lying and stealing
• Identify reasons children lie and/or steal
• Respond appropriately to children who lie and/or
  steal
• Make plans to prevent lying and stealing behaviors

Approved by the New York State Office of Children
and Family Services 2010, through a training and
administrative agreement with the Research
Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS
4
To Tell the Truth Warm-up
Approved by the New York State Office of
Children and Family Services 2010, through a
training and administrative agreement with the
Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS
5
Definition Lying

• Making an untrue statement with intent to deceive
• Creating a false or misleading impression

Approved by the New York State Office of
Children and Family Services 20107, through a
training and administrative agreement with the
Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS
6
Reasons Adults Become Upset
Approved by the New York State Office of Children
and Family Services 2010, through a training and
administrative agreement with the Research
Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS
7
Typical Reactions to Lying Stealing
Approved by the New York State Office of Children
and Family Services 2010, through a training and
administrative agreement with the Research
Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS
8
The Best Lie Ever Told

• By a politician
• In an advertisement
• To a police officer for speeding
• By a child in care
• By someone in this group

Approved by the New York State Office of Children
and Family Services 2010, through a training and
administrative agreement with the Research
Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS
9
Reasons People Lie and/or Steal
Approved by the New York State Office of Children
and Family Services 2010, through a training and
administrative agreement with the Research
Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS
10
Cycle of Need
Approved by the New York State Office of Children
and Family Services 2010, through a training and
administrative agreement with the Research
Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS
11
Cycle of Mistrust
Approved by the New York State Office of Children
and Family Services 2010, through a training and
administrative agreement with the Research
Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS
12
Tricks, Lies and Parenting

• Your room is a mess. Turn off the TV now and go
  clean it up!

Approved by the New York State Office of Children
and Family Services 2010, through a training and
administrative agreement with the Research
Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS
13

• Did you clean your room?
• Yep!
• Liar!
• Dont tell me you cleaned your room. I just
  walked by and its still a pig pen! Why lie to
  me? I hate that!

Approved by the New York State Office of Children
and Family Services 2010, through a training and
administrative agreement with the Research
Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS
14

• Where have you
  been?
• At Jimmys.
• No, you werent! I spoke with his mom and
  she hasnt seen you all day. Youre grounded!
  Dont you EVER lie to me again!!

Approved by the New York State Office of Children
and Family Services 2010, through a training and
administrative agreement with the Research
Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS
15

• I need to have a
  talk with you.
• 
  Huh? About what?
• Well, you said you were going to Jimmys and
  I know you didnt. Its important to me to be
  able to trust you. Whats going on?
  

Approved by the New York State Office of Children
and Family Services 2010, through a training and
administrative agreement with the Research
Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS
16
It Takes a Thief

• What did you take?
• What were the circumstances?
• What motivated you to take it?
• What did you gain?
• Who was affected by what you did?
• What did you feel before/ during/after?
• What were the consequences?

Approved by the New York State Office of
Children and Family Services 2010, through a
training and administrative agreement with the
Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS
17
PROS AND CONS OF STEALING
Approved by the New York State Office of Children
and Family Services 2010, through a training and
administrative agreement with the Research
Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS
18
Goals of Discipline

• Complete the Cycle of Need
• Learn healthy ways to meet needs
• Feel good about relationships with others
• Build self-esteem

Approved by the New York State Office of Children
and Family Services 2010, through a training and
administrative agreement with the Research
Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS
19
Unregistered and want training credit?

• Before class ends, enter the following into
  (private) text chat to Matthew Fildes (in his
  absence, to the instructor)
• Full legal name
• Male or female
• Home address (no P.O. boxes)
• Area code and phone number
• Email address (2 on same computer must list 2
  email addresses)
• Foster care agency address (e.g., Harlem Dowling,
  Westside Center, 2090 7th Ave., NY, NY 10027)
• Thank you.