Listening Effectively

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Listening Effectively

• Module 1, Lesson 3
• Communication for Life

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What is Listening?

• Listening is more than hearing. Listening means
• Paying attention to the sounds you hear
• Assigning them meaning
• Choosing a response

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• Listening is NOT passive
• Requires focus, interpretation
• Results in increased heart rate, respiration, and
  body temperature

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• Listening in NOT natural.
• Must be learned, just like reading writing

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Is Listening Important?

• An essential part of our relationships with
  others, both at work and outside of work

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Listening

• Builds connections
• When we are listened to, we feel connected to
  others.
• When we are not listened to, we feel devalued and
  neglected.

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• Builds High-Performance Teams
• When we listen, we learn
• Understanding another person helps them and you
• Listening makes you able to let go of old
  resentments
• Listening transforms an argument into a dialogue.

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• Builds Effective Communication
• 80 of people who lose their jobs do so because
  of an inability to communicate effectively.
• Listening is the KEY PART of communication.

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• Improves Relationships
• Improves job performance
• Makes happier marriages
• Better one-on-one relationships

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Why is listening hard to do?

• Listening takes effort.
• Effective listening requires some of the same
  physical changes as the bodys reaction to
  physical effort

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• Listening lacks the pay off of talking.
• Listeners have to give up center stage.
• Listeners cant show off their wit and knowledge.

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• Daydream dangers
• We can understand 300 wpm
• Average speech rate 120 wpm
• Difference is spare time to take mental side trips

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• Message overload
• We are bombarded with competing messages.
• Constant stimulation television, radio, music,
  ads, kids, parents, friends conversations.
• Our responseTUNE OUT!!

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• Preparing a response.
• Instead of listening, we prepare what were going
  to say when it is our turn.

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• Needs and wants
• Our needs determine whether or not we choose to
  listen.
• Sometimes were too wrapped up in our own
  thoughts to pay attention to others messages.

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• Filters
• We use filters to decide what to pay attention
  to.
• Filters attach personal meaning to information
• We filter out messages based on whether or not we
  agree with them.

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Examples of Filters

• Knowledge
• Attitudes
• Values
• Experiences
• Assumptions

• Beliefs
• Prejudices
• Feelings
• Expectations
• Hot buttons

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Examples of Hot Buttons

• You never/always
• Know it alls
• Shut up
• Bigots
• What you should do is
• Pushy people
• People who interrupt
• Whiners

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10 Tips for Controlling Hot Buttons

• Take deep breaths.
• Make a conscious choice about your response.
• Acknowledge the other persons feelings.
• Ask objective questions for clarification.

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10 Tips for Controlling Hot Buttons

• Try to see the other persons point of view.
• Stick to the subject.
• Be patient.
• Express your point of view.
• Explain why
• Work out a win-win plan.

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13 Listening Tricks for Success
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• Concentrate on the message rather than the
  speaker.

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2

• Listen with a purpose.

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3

• Daydream selectively.

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4

• Take notes.

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5

• Ask questions.
• 1) Mentally first wait to see if theyre
  answered
• 2) Aloud at the end

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6

• Sit in the right place for you.

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• Start listening immediately.

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• Identify key points listen for cues.

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9

• Pay attention to everything
• Tone of voice
• Body language
• Read meanings behind words

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• Think about the message. Paraphrase it in your
  feedback to check your understanding.

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• Be open to new ideas.
• Dont jump to conclusions.

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• Know your own listening habits.
• Ask open-ended questions

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• Recognize common patterns of organization

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Common Patterns of Organizing Information

• Chronological order - first, next, then,
  finally...

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• Order of importance -order of priority, most
  important...

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• Comparison and Contrast - similar, like
  different, in contrast...

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• Cause and effect - because, so that, therefore...

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Why Listen???

• 90 of success in communication in the workplace
  and in life in general is a direct result of
• GOOD LISTENING SKILLS!