Dating, Single Life, and Mate Selection

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Chapter 6

• Dating, Single Life, and Mate Selection

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Chapter Outline

• Premarital American Dating
• Dating and Extended Singleness
• Changing Sexual Mores
• Date Rape and Courtship Violence

3
Chapter Outline

• Cohabitation Unmarried-Couple Households
• Finding the One and Only Mate Selection
• Engagement

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Why Do We Date?

1. Dating fills time between puberty and marriage.
   It is often simple recreation, an end in itself.
2. Dating is a way to gain social status based on
   whom and how often one dates.
3. Dating is an opportunity for the sexes to
   interact and learn about each other. Dating is
   also an avenue to self-knowledge.

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Why Do We Date?

1. Dating meets ego needs. A person needs to be
   understood and considered important.
2. Dating leads to mate selection for most
   individuals.

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Modern Dating Characteristics

1. There is greater opportunity for informal,
   opposite-sex interaction.
2. Subsequent dating is less formal.
3. There no longer seems to be a set progression of
   stages from first meeting to marriage.

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College Dating

• Hooking up is defined as a sex-without-commitment
  interaction.
• The term joined at the hip refers to couples who
  spend much of their time together but rarely go
  out on formal dates.
• Because of the close proximity of living
  conditions in college, there is a great deal of
  hanging out, where time is loosely spent together
  without explicit interest in one another.

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Timing of First Sexual Intercourse
Characteristic Distribution Who Have Had Sex Median Age at First Sex
Total 100.0 26.6 16.9
Male 53.4 29.7 16.6
Female 46.6 23.3 17.2
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Factors Influencing the Decision to Have Sex

1. Personal principles
2. Psychological principles
3. Social principles
4. Religious principles

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Problems Associated with Premarital Sexual
Relations

• Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs)
• Unwanted pregnancies
• Early commitment and isolation
• Quality of sex

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Date Rape and Courtship Violence

• The term date rape has suddenly become popular in
  the mass media. A better term that encompasses
  rape but also speaks to broader problems is
  acquaintance violence.

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Miscommunication About Sex

1. Many men and women do not discuss their sexual
   intentions openly and frankly.
2. Differences exist in perceptions of sexual
   intent.
3. The use of token resistance by some women may
   create a belief in some men that protest
   encountered is not really meant by the woman.

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Miscommunication About Sex

1. There are differing expectations concerning the
   stage of the relationship when sexual intercourse
   is appropriate.
2. Miscommunication is more common when alcohol or
   drugs are being used.

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Statutory Rape

• Statutory rape is the case in which an adult has
  consensual sex with a minor.

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Cohabitation

• A couples desire to spend more time together may
  lead them to cohabit, that is, live together
  without marriage.

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Cohabitation Common Law Marriage

• An unmarried partner is now defined by the Census
  Bureau as a person unrelated to the householder,
  but who shares living quarters and has a close
  personal relationship with the householder.
• In some states,a couple living together for more
  than a certain number of years can be treated as
  legally married, which is called a common law
  marriage.

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Factors Influencing Cohabitation

• Societys increased tolerance toward nonmarital
  sexual relations makes intimate cohabitation more
  acceptable.
• Higher education, especially for women, and the
  increasing entry of women into the workforce have
  lessened womens dependence on marriage as a way
  of economic survival.

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Factors Influencing Cohabitation

• Increasing urbanization leads to increased
  anonymity and fewer restrictions on individuals.
• The high rate of divorce may make young people
  more wary of rushing into a marital relationship.

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Cohabiting Relationships

• Many couples consider these experiences to be no
  more than short-lived sexual flings.
• Other couples consider cohabitation a practical
  arrangement.
• Some see cohabitation as a trial marriage, while
  others see it as a permanent alternative to
  marriage.
• For some who have been divorced, the fear of
  making the same mistake again leads them to
  cohabitation.

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Mate Selection

• Propinquity refers to dating and marrying someone
  living quite close geographically.
• Homogamy is the tendency of people to marry
  persons similar to themselves.
• Endogamy is the tendency of people to marry
  within their own group.

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Mate Selection

• Exogamy is a requirement that people marry
  outside their group.
• In our culture, requirements to marry outside
  your group are limited to incest and same-sex
  prohibitions.
• Miscegenation laws prohibiting interracial
  marriages are no longer legal in the U.S.

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First Impressions

• The halo effect is the tendency for first
  impressions to influence succeeding evaluations.
• Cognitive compatibility (how the other thinks,
  what his/ her interests are, and so on) are also
  important first impressions.

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Quick Quiz
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1. The term joined at the hip refers to

1. a sex-without-commitment interaction.
2. couples who spend much of their time together but
   rarely go out on formal dates.
3. where time is loosely spent together without
   explicit interest in one another.
4. None of these.

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Answer b

• The term joined at the hip refers to couples who
  spend much of their time together but rarely go
  out on formal dates.

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2. The requirement that people marry outside
their group is

1. Propinquity
2. Homogamy
3. Endogamy
4. Exogamy

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Answer d

• Exogamy is the requirement that people marry
  outside their group.

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3. Which of the following is listed in the text
as a common reason for cohabitation?

1. Practical Purposes
2. Sex
3. Trial Marriage
4. All of the above

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Answer d

• Couples studied listed practical purposes, sex
  and a chance to have a trial marriage all as
  reasons to cohabitate.