Presentation of Self on Online Dating sites

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Presentation of Self on Online Dating sites

• Dr. Monica Whitty
• Queens University Belfast
• m.whitty_at_qub.ac.uk
• Invited talk Bath University ESRC series 30th
  Janurary 2006

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Personal Ads

• Reminiscent of a heterosexual stock market"
• Favourable traits
• Stereotypical sex role characteristics were
  valued commodities

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Strategic advertisers

• Offer characteristics the opposite sex will find
  appealing Whitty Carr 2006 Whitty,
  forthcoming).

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Exchange theory

• Individuals pursue relationships with others only
  so long as they are satisfying in terms of the
  overall rewards and costs.

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Self-disclosure

• I'm sometimes sick at heart from falling out
  of love with those I grew to care for enough that
  I stopped risking their health. I have a Herpes
  virus infection with yearly outbreaks. I would
  like to meet a woman who shares this difficulty

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Plea for honesty

• Wealthy, entrepreneurial, fun loving,
  energetic, playful, said to be handsome, single
  WM, thirtyish. Seeks cute, young, petite, single
  WF for travel-mate and all around companion. No
  B.S., no gold-diggers, sincere only need apply

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Selective truth telling

• e.g., individuals only advertised their weight
  when it was socially desirable.
• e.g., single women with children tended to omit
  any mention of having children in their personal
  ads.

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Video dating

• Matching hypotheses
• Gender differences

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Finding the ideal partner

• Presenting a realistic picture of themselves
  will, in turn, lead to finding the ideal
  partner
• Discrepancy between their ideal partner and the
  person who is realistically interested in their
  profile.

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Perfect match or Numbers game?

• Copious amounts of time writing/re-writing
  profiles
• Send many emails out hoping someone will respond

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Gender defined lies

• Women photos, weight
• Men height, SES

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Theories on self online

• Turkle (1995) liberating space for individuals
• Gergen (2000)self becomes saturated with too
  many identities

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Online romantic relationships

• Safe space to play at love (Whitty, 2003).
• Joinson (2004) low self-esteem individuals
• Bargh McKenna true selves
• Cyberspace is not one generic space (Whitty,
  2003 Whitty Carr, 2006)

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My theory

• Experiment with identities and feel safe to flirt
• Depth and breadth
• A need to present an attractive but
  real/actual self (Whitty, 2004, 2006,
  forthcoming)

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References

• Whitty, M. T. (2003). Cyber-flirting Playing at
  love on the Internet. Theory and Psychology, 13
  (3), 339-357.
• Whitty, M T. (2004). Shopping for Love on the
  Internet Men and Women's experiences of using an
  Australian Internet dating site. Communication
  Research in the Public Interest ICA, New
  Orleans, USA, May 27-31, 2004.
• Whitty, M. T. Carr, A. N. (2006). Cyberspace
  romance The psychology of online relationships.
  Basingstoke Palgrave Macmillan.
• Whitty, M. T. (forthcoming). The joys of
  online dating. In E. Konjin, T. Martin., S. Utz,
  A. Linden. (Eds.), Mediated Interpersonal
  Communication. Mahwah, NJ Lawrence Erlbaum
  Associates.
• Whitty, M. T. (forthcoming). Manipulation
  of self in cyberspace. In B. H. Spitzberg, W.
  R. Cupach. (Eds.), The Dark Side of Interpersonal
  Communication (second edition). Mahwah, NJ
  Lawrence Erlbaum Associates
• Whitty, M. T. (forthcoming). Love letters
  The development of romantic relationships
  throughout the ages. In A. N. Joinson, K. Y. A.
  McKenna, T. Postmes, and U. R. Reips. (Eds.),
  Oxford Handbook of Internet Psychology. Oxford
  Oxford University Press.
• Whitty, M. T., Baker, A. J., Inman, J. A.
  (Eds.) (in preparation). Online matchmaking.
  Palgrave Macmillan. To be published in 2006