Conflict as Opportunity

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Conflict as Opportunity - managing conflict and
creating a healthy climate for the exchange of
information and understanding
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• Mediation
• serious staff conflicts
• alternative to disciplinary action
• insider neutrals
• transferable skills

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At ISP we believe that conflict is neither good
nor bad but natural. We seek to create an open
community, climate and culture that is able to
embrace diverse perspectives and approaches. We
expect differences to be expressed respectfully
and we intend for each member of our community to
develop the ability to listen to, hear and
acknowledge different points of view.
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1. Mediating serious interpersonal conflicts
2. Creating a climate that deals openly with
   conflict
3. Learning to become better at managing difficult
   conversations and crucial confrontations

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• Situations
• When did I handle conflict well?
• When did it go wrong?

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Crucial Conversations Crucial Confrontations
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• Talking to colleagues about offensive behaviour
• Critiquing a colleagues work
• Talking to a team member not keeping
  commitments
• Talking to a colleague about a personal problem
• Giving boss feedback about behaviour
• Approaching boss who is breaking own principles

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Challenging conversations Why might it go
wrong? - design fault?
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Reason and Emotion Fight or Flight? The Amygdala
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Difference is. - how you respond when things
go wrong - how you handle difficult situations or
conversations
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Conflict Behaviour Styles
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Causes of Conflict . . .
Assumption Appreciation Acknowledgement Respect Re
sources
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Active Listening Being Heard Positions v
Interests
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• Assuming that others do things because its in
  their make-up or they actually enjoy doing them
  and then ignoring any other potential
  motivational forces - is a mistake.
• Psychologists classify this mistake as an
  attribution error. And because it happens so
  consistently across people, time and places, it
  is called the
• Fundamental Attribution Error

Crucial Conversations Patterson, Grenny,
McMillan, Switzler. 2002
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• Me v You
• Situational v Dispositional

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The Pool of Shared Meaning
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Successful communication - free flow of
information
Freely shared feelings, opinions, theories -
even when controversial or unpopular
Safe for everyone to add their meaning to the pool
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Crucial Conversations Patterson, Grenny,
McMillan, Switzler. 2002
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Dark waters? Silence -
disengagement, avoidance, hints,
sarcasm
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Violence verbal attacks, discrediting
others, subtle manipulation, getting others
to mistrust
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Learn to Look
Monitor the pointers
Crucial Conversations Patterson, Grenny,
McMillan, Switzler. 2002
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• Step out of the issue
• Check what aspect of safety is at risk -
• mutual purpose?
• mutual respect?

Make it safe!
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• Fix it -
• Apologise
• Contrast to Clarify
• Find and Commit to a mutual purpose
• Return to the issue and brainstorm strategies

Make it safe!
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Monitor the pointers
Crucial Conversations Patterson, Grenny,
McMillan, Switzler. 2002
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Find your bearings..

• Start with the Heart
• Focus the Brain
• Master My Stories

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• What do you really want to happen?
• What do you fear might happen?
• What emotions are you bringing to the dialogue?
• - guilt?
• - fear?
• - anger?

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• Crucial Conversations Patterson, Grenny,
  McMillan, Switzler. 2002
• Crucial Confrontations Patterson, Grenny,
  McMillan, Switzler. 2005
• vitalsmarts.com
• The Mediation Handbook Beer, Stief.1997
• Mediation for Managers John Crawley, Katherine
  Graham, www.conflictmanagementplus.com
• The Fifth Discipline Fieldbook Senge, Kleiner,
  Roberts, Ross and Smith. 1994