An Appreciative Approach to Reframing Conflict

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An Appreciative Approach toReframing Conflict
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Reframe conflict as an opportunity for
creating an ideal working relationship What
are the components of an ideal working
relationship?
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IntroductionConflict
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Foundational Paradigms

• Often, conflict is a result of miscommunication
  (misunderstanding)
• View conflict as an opportunity for personal
  and/or professional development
• Improve work relationships and productivity
• To resolve conflict, need to communicate in an
  effective manner

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How Do You Knowit isConflict?

• People involved are
• Interdependent,
• Blaming each other,
• Emotionally upset, (angry, crying, etc.)
• Affecting work relationships
• and productivity

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How Individuals Address Conflict
Type A Type B Type C
Avoid personal contact Get others to take sides Sweaty palms
Write memos instead of talking Shout Nervous gestures
Withhold needed information Pre-empting (getting there first) Closed body posture
Not return messages Threaten Tense facial expression
Delay giving required support Undermine opponents reputation Cry
Passive Aggressive Unintentional
CAUTION Dont always follow your initial
instinct. Your first reaction may be wrong. The
fight or flight response is a physiological
response to danger. It focuses on whats wrong
in a situation - it is likely to hurt work
relationships - and create more situations
perceived as danger.
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Positive Things that Come Out of Conflict?

• Increased motivation and energy available to
  apply to required tasks.
• Increased innovativeness of individuals and the
  system -because of greater diversity of
  viewpoints and a heightened sense of necessity.
• Development of an increased understanding of
  individuals own position - because the conflict
  forces them to articulate their views and to
  bring forth supporting agreements.
• Each party may achieve greater awareness of their
  own identity.
• Participants learn methods to manage their own
  internal conflicts.

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Appreciative ApproachtoReframing Conflict
using theAppreciative Inquiry Process
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4 Dimensions
of Appreciative Inquiry
Life-Giving Process
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Appreciative Inquiryvs.Problem Solving

• Problem Solving
• Identifies
• problem
• Conducts
• analysis of cause
• Brainstorms
• solutions
• Develops
• action plans

• Appreciative Inquiry
• Appreciates
• what gives life?
• Imagines
• what might be?
• Determines
• what should be?
• Creates
• what will be?

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1st DimensionDiscovery

• The Best of What Is

Affirmative Topic Effective Communication
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Effective Communication
1st Dimension Discovery

1. Deal with the Emotions first
2. Feelings as Data
3. Listen First to Understand - until you are able
   to experience the other side
4. Gather the facts
5. Hear each persons side of the story
6. Decide if you need additional help from Employee
   Relations

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1st Dimension Discovery

• Examine the Positive
• Factors in the Relationship
• What is working in the relationship?
• What are the benefits of the relationship?
• Tell me about a time when you successfully worked
  together?
• What do we agree on?
• What are our individual/team strengths?

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2nd DimensionDream What it might
be?Envision It!
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Envision the IdealCommunication Relationship
2nd Dimension Dream

• What does it feel like?
• What does it sound like?
• What does it look/sound like to others?
• What do you really want?

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2nd Dimension Dream
Examine Possible Positive Factors in
the Communication Relationship

• Rapid Generation of Ideas without clarification
  or evaluation
• Quantity - not Quality
• Be as Creative as possible

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3rd DimensionDesign

• What should be the Ideal
• of
• Effective Communication?

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3 Types of Outcomes
3rd Dimension Design

• Win-Lose
• Lose-Lose
• Win-Win

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Look for Win-Win Resolution
3rd Dimension Design

• Fundamental Paradigms
• Effective, long-term relationships require mutual
  benefit
• Reconciliation collaboration is not weak its
  smart !
• Win-Lose or Lose-Lose outcomes are
  counterproductive in the long run

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Stay Focused on the Ideal
3rd Dimension Design

• Conflict tends to divert our attention from our
  real interests by creating another interest
  surviving, or winning
• Basic, instinctive interest (surviving/winning)
  may cloud our interests make it harder to
  resolve conflict
• Step away from the conflict, anybody involved
  in the conflict, to gain perspective
• Think about what you would want if you could have
  a wish thats your true interest

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Conciliatory Gestures
3rd Dimension Design

• Verbal statements or parts of statements
  made during conflict resolution that expose the
  speakers vulnerability to exploitation by the
  other (s)

Kinds of Conciliatory Gestures

• Apologizing
• Owning responsibility
• Conceding
• Self-disclosing
• Expressing positive feelings/thoughts for the
  other
• Initiating a Win-Win approach to the situation

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Accentuate the Positive,Ignore the Negative
3rd Dimension Design
Conciliatory gestures are often mixed with some
sort of hostile comments. Its best to disregard
the aggressive words tone and focus instead on
the conciliatory.
How? Acknowledge the conciliatory gesture by
showing your appreciation of it, and
reciprocate.
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Partner on Design
3rd Dimension Design

• Collaboration
• One-sided solutions not
• imposed no power plays
• No walk-aways
• Need buy-in

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Good DealTo effect real change
3rd Dimension Design

• Good Deal ? An agreement describing how the
  parties will interact in the future

• Balanced
• Behaviorally specific
• Written

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4th DimensionDestiny

• What should we do
• to sustain the change?

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Sustaining Change
4th Dimension Destiny

• Nurture the new relationship
• Reward improved performance
• Develop renew resources on a regular basis
• Be proactive

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Appreciative Inquiry 4-D Cycle Revisited

• Discovery - The best of what is
• Deal with Emotions and Feelings
• Listen First to Understand
• Gather the Facts
• Need help?
• Dream - What might be? Envision it!
• Design - What should be the ideal?
• Win-Win
• Stay Focused
• Conciliatory Gestures
• Partner on a Good Deal
• Destiny Sustain the Change
• Prevent More Challenges
• Dont Back Out