The Sex Olympics

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The Sex Olympics
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Rules

• Accept that youre going to get caught
• Time limit of two weeks
• Oral sex does not count
• Most points wins
• Points depend on location
• Score doubles if caught, exposed or arrested

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In a Clothing Store Changing Room

• 100 POINTS
• You will need
• Empty shopping bag
• Money to purchase damaged goods

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Heres how

• Dont wear underwear
• Pretend youre strangers, shop separately
• Give the signal, proceed to change rooms
• Guy stands in bag
• Fool proof!

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In Your Office

• 75 POINTS
• You will need
• An office
• A desk
• An official work related document

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Heres how

• Need decent size office
• Pre-planned signal
• Under desk, out of site
• Security measure, have documents ready

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In a sauna

• 200 POINTS
• You will need
• - a strong heart
• - gatorade
• - a working phone
• (to call 911)

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Heres how

• Caution physically strenuous!
• Listen to your body
• Hydrate before, during and after
• Dont lie down
• Bonus eliminate competition, by encouraging
  opponents

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At a Wedding

• 75 POINTS
• You will need
• - acting skills
• - liquor

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Heres how

• Fake a fight
• Start by arguing quietly
• Get really mad at each other
• Make an escape to work things out

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In A Restaurant Ladies Room

• 75 POINTS
• You will need
• -a fake baby
• -swaddling clothes

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Heres How

• Bring baby doll to restaurant
• Pretend baby needs to change its diaper
• Go to ladies room together
• Make sure bathroom is empty
• Pull down changing table and go for it!

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In An AirplaneJoin the Mile High Club!

• 100 POINTS
• You will need
• -airplane tickets

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Heres How

• After takeoff, girl goes to bathroom
• Guy follows a minute later
• Lift metal plate below Occupied sign
• Open door from outside
• Lock door and have fun!

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On The Washing Machine

• 40 points
• Bring extra quarters
• Not too challenging and points are paltry but

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Women Love Washing Machines

• Maybe its the April Freshness
• Or the sense of order and cleanliness
• Or its the pressing of their tender regions
  against an enormous vibrating plate
• .

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What To Do

• Sit her on top the machine
• Slip some quarters in and start machine
• Hold her shoulder firmly but affectionately to
  keep her up right

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In The Taxi

• 75 points
• Hail a cab, jump in, and fall back into the seat
  in a passionate embrace
• Shout the address, shove a handful of money and
  slide the little window shut

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When The Car Is in Motion

• Have your woman straddle you and undo your fly
• Her skirt conceals what you are really doing and
  you should look like a couple of crazy kids
  necking after senior prom

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In a Mattress Store

• What You Need
• Balls like steel water melons
• Know store employee
• Off peek hours
• Store floor plan

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In a Mattress Store

• What You Need to do
• Enter store during off peak hours
• Browse to the back
• Windows are bad!
• Dive between 2 mattress
• Then go for it

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In a Mattress Store

• Points Acquired
• Full credit (100pts)
• 2x pts if caught

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At the Beach

• What You Need
• Bathing suits
• Suntan lotion
• Floatties

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At the Beach

• What you need to do
• Fake a swimming lesson
• Find unpopulated area of water
• About waist deep
• Have her do the Crawl
• w/her legs around your waist

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At the Beach

• Points Acquired
• 75 pts
• 2x pts if caught

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What your score says

• 625-351 HERCULES CASANOVA
• 350-151 Adventurous, healthy sex
  drive
• 150-51 Her fault / His fault
• 50-0 LOSER !

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REMEMBER

• Its not whether you win or lose.
• Its whether you avoid arrest!