Dating, and Getting Along with the Opposite Sex

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Social Skills Relationships

• Dating, and Getting Along with the Opposite Sex

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Dating Social Activities
Not at WORK

• Where When
• Recreation events, restaurants
• Church
• Park, Amusement Parks
• Clubs Special Olympics
• Sports
• Family Events, holidays

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What do you need to know before you think about
dating?

• How do you feel about dating?
• How does your family feel about you dating?
• Who should you talk to before you decide to start
  dating?

• Should you have someone go with you on your date?
• What safety precautions should you take?

4
Why do you want to go on a date?

• To have a nice time?
• To meet a new boyfriend?
• To make a new friend?
• Should your family approve of what you want to
  do?

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What are you looking for in the person you want
to date?

• Someone close to your age?
• Should he have a job?
• Should he go to school?
• What is he interested in?
• Is he funny?
• Does your family approve of him?
• Is he smart?
• Does he respect you for who you are?
• Does he show respect to others and property?
• Does he respect himself?

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Why do people go on dates?

• Because theyre fun
• To meet a potential boyfriend/girlfriend
• To get to know someone better
• To experience something new

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How can you tell the difference between someone
you know and someone you dont?

• PEOPLE YOU KNOW
• You know someone if you talk to them regularly
• You remember their name
• They remember your name
• They often start conversations with you
• You know things about them, such as what they
  like to do or what their job is
• People who know about who you are and what you
  like are the people who know you

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People You Dont Know

• You dont know their name
• You may see them regularly (on the bus) but you
  still dont know anything about them
• You dont know anything about them
• They may be famous (movie stars/singers) but you
  do not know them

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Where/when is it ok to touch someone when you say
hello...

• If they are your teacher?
• If they are your friend?
• If they are your boss?
• If they are your boyfriend?
• If you are going on a first date with them?
• How would you say hello to any of the people we
  just discussed?

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How should you act if you like someone?

• Smile at him!!!
• Start a conversation
• Tell a joke

• Dont try to show off
• Relax and be yourself
• Like yourself! Confidence is attractive

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How do you show a guy or girl you like him or her?

• Pay attention when he talks
• Smile at him
• Ask about his interests
• Talk with him about his interests
• Be yourself around him

• Ask him if hed like to get together for coffee
  sometime
• Invite him to join you and your friends in a fun
  activity

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How can you act so that someone else wants to
date you?

• SMILE!!!
• Be nice
• Respect yourself
• Use appropriate body language - dont shake your
  hips or make kissy noises when you see him or her
• Be confident!

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How do you know if you like someone?

• You want to be around him or her
• You feel happy when he or she talks to you
• You want him or her to like you
• His or her opinion is important to you

• You think your family will like him or her
• You might want to kiss or hug him/her
• You might want to do something special for him or
  her
• You want your family to meet him or her

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What is flirting?

• Flirting is
• Smiling at someone
• Laughing at their jokes
• Choosing to sit next to someone - but not too
  close!
• Complimenting someone
• Batting your eyes at someone
• Any other way of showing someone you like them
  that is appropriate and comfortable for the other
  person
• Playing with your hair
• Wearing something pretty when you know you will
  see the person you like

• Letting someone know through words, actions, and
  appropriate body language that you like them

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When can you flirt with someone?

• After school
• At a dance
• At a social gathering
• After work
• When youre out with your friends
• After you and your family have talked about
  flirting and you know how they feel about it

• Dont flirt when you
• Are at work
• Are at school
• Are in a professional setting
• Could make someone uncomfortable

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Where can you flirt with someone?

• At a restaurant
• During a recreational activity
• At a dance
• In any social setting

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Who should you NOT flirt with?

• Someone who is working
• Someone who is much older than you
• Someone who is much younger than you
• Your staff at TRACE
• Your staff at your group home

• Your friends boyfriend
• Your teachers
• Your doctor, dentist, counselor, or other people
  who you depend on for your health and safety
• People who you and your family have decided are
  not appropriate for you to flirt with

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Who should you NOT date?

• Someone who is violent
• Someone you dont know
• Someone who makes fun of your disability
• Someone you are related to
• Someone who has a girlfriend or a wife
• Someone who is your staff
• Someone who is responsible for your safety or
  well-being

• Someone who uses drugs
• Someone who pressures you to do things you dont
  want to do
• Someone who makes you uncomfortable
• Someone who is much older than you
• Someone who is much younger than you

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What if the person you like has a girlfriend or
is married?

• Dont date him!
• He would be cheating on his girlfriend or wife
  with you
• His girlfriend or wife will get her feelings hurt
• You will probably get your feelings hurt

• It isnt safe for you to date someone who is
  dating more than one person at the same time
• A person who would date you while he was married
  doesnt respect you

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What if the person you like is one of your staff?

• It is inappropriate to flirt with or date your
  staff because you depend on them for your safety
  and well-being

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How long should you know someone before you go on
a date with him?

• You should know someone long enough to have 3
  good conversations with him
• Until you have good conversations with someone
  every day

• You should see this person fairly often in a
  group setting before you go out alone with him
• You should be comfortable talking to your family
  about him, and maybe even introduce him to your
  family before you go out together

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Can you ask someone on a date? What should you
say?

• You should talk to your family first
• Remember to be polite if you do!
• Asking someone if theyd like to meet somewhere
  for coffee is a good start

• Would you like to go out to dinner on Friday?
• Do you want to meet me for a cup of coffee after
  work? My treat!

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What is an example of a good way to start a
conversation with someone you like?

• Hi, my name is _____ and I thought you seemed
  nice. How are you?
• I really like your ____ (shirt, backpack, etc).
  Where did you get it?

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What is an example of the wrong way to start a
conversation with someone you like?

• Hi, my name is ______ and my address is ______.
  My phone number is ______. I go to TRACE.
• Why is this inappropriate?

• Hey baby, youre really cute. Wanna go make
  out?
• Why is this inappropriate?

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What do you say if someone asks you out and you
dont want to date him?

• No, thank you
• Im busy, Im sorry
• I dont want to
• I have a boyfriend
• I dont want to go out on dates
• Im not allowed to go out on dates

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What might you do that would make someone NOT
like you?

• If you dont
• Like yourself
• Have good hygiene
• Respect yourself
• Respect those around you
• Then guys/girls will be less likely to want to be
  around you

• Think of something that would make YOU not want
  to date someone

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What should you know about someone before you go
on a date with them?

• Two things they are interested in
• If your family approves of them
• What kind of job they have

• Their name
• Their phone number
• How old they are
• The general area they live in

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What should you do to get ready for a date?

• Take a shower
• Brush your teeth
• Put on makeup
• Put on deodorant
• Style your hair
• Get dressed

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What should you do to get ready for a date?

• Tell someone where you are going
• Make sure you know where you are going
• Make sure you are being safe - know what you and
  your family are comfortable with you doing
• Tell someone who you are going out with
• Tell someone when you will be back
• Talk to your family about what you will be doing
• Figure out how you are getting there
• Have a backup plan in case things change

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What time can a date start/end?

• Anytime you both agree on!
• People usually start their dates around
  dinnertime , but if you go out for coffee or to
  the beach, you can start earlier
• People usually end their dates by midnight , but
  if you start your date earlier, its a good idea
  to end it earlier, too

• Remember to start and end your date at a time
  that you and your parents or group home agree on

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What should you wear on a date?

• If you are going to McDonalds and a movie, you
  could wear jeans or a skirt and a cute top.
• If you are going to a fancy restaurant for
  dinner, you could wear a nice dress or a pant suit

• Something you feel comfortable in
• Something you feel pretty in
• Something not too revealing
• Something appropriate for the activity you will
  be doing
• Anything you wear should be clean, wrinkle free
  and not have holes in it

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How much money should you spend on a first date?

• If he asked you out, you shouldnt have to spend
  more than 10, unless you both agreed on
  something else before you went out
• If you asked him out, you shouldnt spend more
  than 40, but dont ask him to pay unless you
  both agreed on something else before you went out

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What can you do on a date?

• Go out to dinner
• See a movie
• Go to the beach
• Go miniature golfing
• Go for a walk
• Go shopping
• Play a sport
• Visit a museum
• Go on a picnic
• Play a game
• Go out with friends
• Have a cup of coffee

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What can you talk about on a date?

• Your school
• Your job
• Your family
• Your interests
• His school
• His job
• His family
• His interests
• Remember - dont tell someone youve just met any
  very personal or private information

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What should you NOT talk about on a date?

• Your bodily functions
• Your doctors appointments
• Your familys personal business
• Your income or your familys
• Private or personal things

• Check with your family about what things are
  appropriate for you to share about yourself -
  this can be different for each person and each
  family

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How do you know if a date is going well?

• He is smiling
• You are smiling
• You have lots of things to talk about
• You feel comfortable
• You want to see him another time
• He tells you he likes you

• You are having fun
• He is having fun

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Who else might be involved in your date?

• Staff
• Parents
• Friends
• Siblings
• Transportation providers

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What should you do if you had fun on a date?

• Tell the person you are out with that you had fun
• Ask for his phone number
• Call him and ask him to go out again
• Smile at him a lot

• Hold his hand at the end of the night, but make
  sure its ok with him first
• Give him a kiss goodnight, but make sure its ok
  with him first

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Can you date someone who doesnt have a
disability?

• YES!!!

• It is important to keep in mind that no matter
  who you date they like you for who you are and
  will treat you with respect
• If you do date someone who doesnt have a
  disability it is important to make sure they are
  not taking advantage of you

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What can you do if you want to go on a date with
someone but you arent comfortable being alone
with them yet?

• Ask a friend if they want to bring a date too and
  make it a double date
• Ask your mom or dad if they will drive you and
  stay nearby during your date

• Meet your date at a school function, such as a
  dance or at a People First meeting
• Invite your date to go to a group activity, such
  as bike riding with Parks and Rec on the weekends

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Is it appropriate to date a person much older or
younger than yourself?

• Someone who is much older than you (more than 5
  years) probably is more mature than you and wants
  different things from dating than you might.
• An older person is likely to be taking advantage
  of you

• Someone who is much younger than you (more than 2
  years) probably is less mature than you and wants
  different things from dating than you might
• You might be taking advantage of someone who is
  younger than you

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What should you do if someone you went on one
date with gives you an expensive gift?

• Accepting an expensive gift tells the person who
  gave it that you like them a lot and that you
  want to make things more serious with them
• It usually isnt appropriate to accept or give an
  expensive gift until you have been boyfriend and
  girlfriend for over a month.

• Tell him that you appreciate the thought but you
  arent comfortable taking the gift right now.
• Give it back
• Talk to your teacher about what to do

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When and where is it OK to talk about dating,
girlfriends/boyfriends?

• During this class!!
• When your teacher is available for a personal
  discussion
• At home with your mom or dad
• During a doctors appointment or a therapy session

• During lunch with your friends
• With your older siblings, if they are comfortable
  with talking to you about it

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Who can you ask about dating?

• Your parents
• Your teacher
• Your staff
• Your friends
• Your doctor
• Your counselor
• Your brothers or sisters

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How do you know if someone is your boyfriend?

• You like him
• He likes you
• You have spent time with him
• You know his name
• You know his phone number
• You have been to his house

• You know what his job is
• You have talked about dating only each other
• He agrees that you are his girlfriend
• You agree that he is your boyfriend
• You have met each others families

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DATING BILL OF RIGHTS

• As a partner in a relationship, I have the right
  to
• Open and honest communication with my partner
• Express my feelings and ideas without being
  criticized
• Be respected by my dating partner
• Emotional support through good times and bad
• Feel free from pressure to participate in sexual
  activity or other risky behaviors
• Determine my own personal, financial, sexual,
  emotional and physical boundaries
• Spend as much time with my friends and family as
  I desire
• Make decisions independently
• Be sexually, physically, and emotionally safe
  within the relationship
• Break off an emotionally, sexually or physically
  abusive relationship without fear of retaliation

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Learn how to be safe in relationships
Take classes, join support groups Contact
services such as Planned Parenthood, your health
provider Talk to your doctor