Emotional Intelligence II

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Emotional Intelligence II

• Bob Cole
• American Student Assistance

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Agenda

• Overview of Emotional Intelligence
• How the Emotional Mind Functions
• Really Fun Emotional Intelligence Activities
• Conclusions

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Review of Emotional Intelligence

• Emotional Intelligence is a recent study in
  Neurology
• Differs from IQ
• Develops through life as brain and experiences
  mature
• Progressive Components of EI

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Components of EI

• Intrapersonal
• Self Awareness
• Assertiveness
• Independence
• Self Regard
• Self Actualization
• Interpersonal
• Empathy
• Social Responsibility
• Interpersonal Relationships

• Adaptability
• Reality Testing
• Flexibility
• Problem Solving
• Stress Management
• Stress Tolerance
• Impulse Control

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Reinforcing and Enhancing Emotional Intelligence

• Something great is going to happen to you today
• Fundamental desire for happiness
• Find a relaxing routine

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Activity 1

• Champion or Chump
• The purpose of this activity is to help you
  remember from your own storehouse of information
  and knowledge, when a leader helped create a
  sense of significance and importance in you.
  Additionally, this exercise will help you
  remember times when you did not feel significant
  or important and the impact it had on you.

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Activity 2

• Listening Habits
• The purpose of this exercise is to help you gain
  awareness regarding listening habits that have
  developed over years of practice. Keep in mind
  that awareness can lead to action.

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Negative Listening Patterns

• The Faker All the outward signs are there
  nodding, making eye contact, and giving the
  occasional huh. However, the faker isnt
  concentrating on the speaker. His mind is
  elsewhere.
• The Interrupter The interrupter doesnt allow
  the speaker to finish and doesnt ask clarifying
  questions or seek more information from the
  speaker. He is too anxious to speak his words
  and shows little concern for the speaker.
• The Logical Listener This person is always
  trying to interpret what the speaker is saying
  and why. He is judging the speakers words and
  and trying to fit them into his logic box. He
  never asks about the underlying feeling or
  emotion attached to a message.
• The One Upper This person uses the speakers
  words only as a way to get to his message. When
  the speaker says something, the one upper steals
  the focus and then changes the conversation to
  his own point of view or opinion. Favorite line
  Oh, thats nothing, heres what happened to
  me.
• The Rebuttal Maker The listener only listens
  long enough to form a rebuttal. His point is to
  use the speakers words against him. He may want
  to prove you wrong.
• The Advice Giver This person gives advice
  during the speakers conversation and interferes
  with good listening because it does not allow the
  speaker to fully articulate his feelings.
  Premature advice can belittle the speaker by
  minimizing his concern.

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Activity 3

• Gifts
• The purpose of this exercise is to help you
  identify the gifts in each of your co-workers.
  Most of us think in terms of what needs to be
  improved. You must ask what special gift,
  quality, personality trait, character trait,
  skill or other quality am I grateful for?

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Activity 4

• Action and Reaction
• The purpose of this activity is to help you
  stretch you sensitivity to your co-workers
  reactions to your actions. Part of what makes
  working with people is that unlike machines, they
  may have several reactions to the same action.

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Activity 4 Continued

• Read and interpret this e-mail sent to all staff
  on the sixth floor
• Im not sure if anyone has been inside the
  refrigerator lately but there has been an ugly
  smell emanating from within. Due to the foul
  nature of this machine, I am taking it upon
  myself to bathe the inside with strong
  disinfectants on Friday at 200. Please remove
  anything that is of value to you before 200 or
  it will need to be retrieved from the garbage
  receptacle. Thank-you for your attention to this
  grave and serious matter.

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Activity Five

• Stress Management
• The purpose of this activity is to identify not
  simply the implications of a stressful situation
  but to determine if there are ways to lessen its
  impact on you and other.

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Activity 5

• For the third time this week you have heard
  rumors that your company will be downsizing soon.
  You feel threatened by these rumors. To begin
  with, you believe there is truth to rumors. You
  know that upper management has been searching for
  ways to save money. Lately you have felt the
  scrutiny of upper management they have started
  to blame you and your department for recent
  failures.
• You believe you have made substantial
  contributions during the past seven years, but
  you are not certain upper management is aware of
  the time and money and have saved the
  organization. In addition, you and your team
  have worked hard to develop good relations with
  other departments. Even if management is aware
  of your contribution, the nature of the work in
  your department might be the determining factor.

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Stress Prevention

• Watch yourself and find out what triggers
• Find a model of good stress tolerance
• Notice the signals in you body
• Short circuit the hijack
• Repeat steps in non-stressful situations
• Forgive yourself for falling short