Emotional Intelligence

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Emotional Intelligence

• EWI Webinar
• May 5, 2009
• 700 PM EST
• with
• Dr. Jennifer Wild
• Alternate Perspectives, Inc.

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You will learn

• The definition of Emotional Intelligence
• Why Emotional Intelligence is so important in the
  workplace
• How the brain works
• About the five areas of Emotional Intelligence
• What you can do to increase your Emotional
  Intelligence

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What Is Emotional Intelligence (EI)?

• The ability to understand others and to act
  wisely in human relations
• What it takes to live life successfully
• Emotion and intellect are not contradictoryyou
  need both to be a full functioning human being

Adopted from Goleman, 1995
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Why EI is so important.

• Studies have shown that employees with EI are
  more likely to be successful than those who are
  just technically competent
• Top performers are more productive and EI makes
  them that way

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How The Brain Works

• We see something
• Our eyes send the message to our translator
• The translator sends it to the sorter to be
  analyzed for appropriate response
• Sometimes, the signal goes straight to the alarm
  company allowing a faster (but less precise)
  response
• The alarm company can trigger an emotional
  response before the other parts of the brain know
  what is happening

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How The Brain Works
Thalamus (our translator)
VisualCortex(our sorter)
Amygdalaour alarm company signaling fight or
flight
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EI is made up of five areas

• Knowing ones emotions self awareness
• Managing emotions handling responses so they
  are appropriate
• Motivating oneself delaying gratification and
  stifling impulses
• Recognizing emotions in others empathy
• Handling relationships Managing the emotions of
  others

Adopted from Goleman, 1995
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Knowing ones emotions
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What are your triggers?

• Triggers

• Physical Signs

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What can you do?

• Recognize your physical changes
• Stop and think about your alarm companydo you
  want it to react???
• Take a deep breath
• Allow the information to go to the sorter before
  you act

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Managing emotions
Anyone can become angrythat is easy. But to be
angry with the right person, to the right degree,
at the right time, for the right purpose, and in
the right waythis is not easy. ARISTOTLE
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Action/Reaction

• Your boss says in a frustrated tone, Where is
  that agenda I asked for? (but the agenda was not
  due for a week).
• What do you do without EI?
• What do you do with EI?

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Action/Reaction

• A co-worker responds to a comment you make in a
  meeting and says Thats stupid.
• What do you do without EI?
• What do you do with EI?

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Motivating Oneself
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Motivation

• Intrinsic
• Motivation comes from inside the person (amount
  of effort , belief in self, interest)
• Extrinsic
• Motivation comes from outside the person ( money,
  trophies, recognition by others)

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Motivation T or F

• Motivated people take time to invest in what they
  want to achieve.
•  Motivated people often have a plan to help them
  stay motivated.
•  A motivated person never needs help.
•  A motivated person does not use failure and as a
  motivator.
•  Everyone is motivated by the same things.
•  

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Empathy

• Empathy is a very high level skill.
• It is the ability to see the world from anothers
  point of view and to identify and understand
  anothers situation, feelings and motives.

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Empathy begins with listening

• Six Negative Listening Patterns
• The faker pretends to be listening
• The interrupter doesnt allow speaker to finish
  and doesn't ask questions, just loves to hear
  himself or herself talk
• The logical listener does not connect to the
  emotional part of the message
• The self-centered listener uses speakers words
  only to get to HIS or HER message
• The rebuttal maker only listens long enough to
  disagree
• The advice giver gives advice too quickly
  before the speaker can finish his or her entire
  thought

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How do we show empathy?

• Try to view the world from the other persons
  eyes
• Try to connect to what the other person is
  feeling
• Take in the subtle clues to figure out what the
  person needs or wants
• Check out your assumptions with the person before
  acting on them

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Handling Relationships Social Skills
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How do we handle others emotions

• Try to see the world from their perspective
• Test with them to make sure you understand the
  world from their perspective
• Make sure you connect to both the intellect
  (content) and the emotions (what they are
  feeling)
• See if you can help people know you are there to
  help them get what they need and want

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Recipes for handling emotions

• Trying to understand another person and have them
  understand you.
• "what prevents you from (...)?"
• "what have I said or done that leads you to
  believe (...),"
• "what would lead you to (...)."

Adopted from Argyris, Putnam, and Smith, 1985
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What can you do?

• How can you increase your emotional intelligence?
• How can we use our emotional intelligence to
  expand our EWI community?

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Resources

• The Competent Manager A Model for Effective
  Performance
• by R. Boyatzis
• Emotional Intelligence by D. Goleman
• Working with Emotional Intelligence by D.
  Goleman
• Learned Optimism by M. Seligman

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Questions and Answers