Impact of Battering on Children

1
Impact of Battering on Children
iowa coalition against domestic violence
2
Annette Williams, LMSW

• Community Partnership Child Welfare Specialist
• Iowa Coalition Against Domestic Violence
• annettew_at_icadv.org
• 319-358-6691

3
Definition of domestic abuse

• A pattern of manipulation and coercion intended
  to gain and maintain power and control over
  current or former intimate partner
• Chosen behavior
• Varied definitions of domestic violence

4
Dynamics of Domestic Violence
5
Intimidation

• Looks, actions, gestures
• Destroying property
• Abusing pets
• Displaying weapons

6
Emotional Abuse

• Name calling
• Crazy-making
• Putting her down
• Making her feel bad about herself

7
Isolation

• Keeping her from family and friends
• Not allowing her to drive, leave the home
• Controlling what she reads, watches, has access
  to (computer)

8
Minimizing, Denying, Blaming

• Saying the abuse didnt happen
• Blaming the abuse on the victims actions
• Not taking responsibility for his own actions

9
Using Children

• Threatening to take children either by abduction
  or custody
• Threatening to harm the children
• Sending messages through children
• Using visitation to harass the victim
• Interfering with victims parenting
• Threatening to report her to DHS for abuse

10
Privilege of Status (formerly known as Male
Privilege)

• Male privilege domestic abuse is rooted in
  sexism, king of the castle mentality, rigid
  gender roles
• Immigration status
• Class status
• Physical abilities
• Others?

11
Economic Abuse

• Not allowing or making it very difficult for her
  to work
• Controlling the family income, not letting her
  have access to financial information
• Giving her an allowance, usually very small and
  never enough
• Sabotaging jobs
• Putting all bills, debt in her name

12
Coercion and Threats

• Threatening to harm her, the children, other
  family members
• Coercing or threatening her to drop No Contact
  Order or Domestic Assault charges
• Threatening to leave her
• Threatening to commit suicide

13
Children witness in many ways

• Seeing the abuse
• Hearing the abuse
• Seeing property damage
• Seeing injuries
• Watching parents interact
• Witness non-violent dynamics of domestic abuse

14
Impact of battering on children

• BATTERERS PARENT THEIR CHILDREN THE SAME WAY THEY
  BATTER ADULT VICTIMS.
• Batterers use the same dynamics on the P C
  wheel toward their children in various, sometimes
  modified forms.
• Batterers deliberately undermine the
  relationships between family members, especially
  between their partner and the children.

15
Batterer Traits

• Entitlement/self-centered
• Externalizes responsibility
• Irresponsible behavior
• Unreasonably demanding
• Manipulative
• Unrealistic expectations of developmental level
  (bedwetting, potty training, attention span, sit
  still)
• Psychological cruelty, emotional abuse

16
Risks to children

• Violent forms of discipline
• Violence against pets
• Destruction of items meaningful to child
  (destroys prom dress, sells bike, rips up teddy
  bear)
• Torture and terrorism (locking child in closet,
  tying child up, threats to kill)
• Assaults during pregnancy
• 7x more likely to be physically or sexually
  abusive to their children than a non-batterer

17
Separation violence

• Risk to parent/children during custody exchanges
• Increased physical/sexual risk to kids
• Greater inconsistency
• Risk of kidnapping or homicide

18
Iowa Statistics

• In Iowa, between 1/95 and 9/02
• 61 women and 13 children were murdered in
  domestic homicides
• 87 children survived their mothers who were
  murdered
• 30 children were present when their mother was
  murdered

19
Impact on victims parenting

• May appear inept during supervised visitations
• Adult victims use multiple means of coping with
  and combating abuse
• Some parenting issues are a direct result of
  trauma, others are the result of deliberate
  undermining by the batterer

20

• Children normalize what is happening
• Reduces terror
• Sense of control
• Ive never really thought of my Dad as a
  batterer.

21
Possible symptoms in children

• Fears of going to sleep, nightmares, insomnia
• Headaches, stomachaches, asthma, ulcers
• Anxiety about being hurt or killed, hyper
  vigilance about danger
• Fighting, hurting other children or animals,
  bullying
• Temper tantrums
• Withdrawal

22
Symptoms continued

• Listlessness, depression
• Suicide attempts, dangerous behavior
• Fear of going to school or separating from mother
  
• Frozen watchfulness or excessive fear
• Overachieving
• Regression of learned behaviors
• Attachment disorders
• Inability to focus in school, often incorrectly
  diagnosed as ADHD
• Difficulty forming relationships with peers,
  teachers, etc.

23
Assistance is always available to you

• If you have a case involving child witnesses to
  domestic abuse and would like feedback or more
  information, please call me at 319-358-6691 or
  e-mail me at annettew_at_icadv.org.