The Impact of Premenstrual Syndrome on Womens Parenting

1
The Impact of Premenstrual Syndrome on Womens
Parenting

• Lynn Barry, MSW, Director
• Canadian Society for the Investigation of Child
  Abuse
• Leslie Tutty, Ph.D., RESOLVE Alberta,
• Faculty of Social Work
• Betty Thomlinson, Ph.D., Faculty of Nursing,
  University of Calgary

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Advisory Committee

• Dr. John Pearce Alberta Childrens Hospital
  (Child Abuse Service)
• Robbie BabinsWagner, MSW CEO, Calgary
  Counselling Centre
• Irene Jackson, MN Grace Womens Centre,
  Foothills Hospital
• Fay Hodson Region 3, Calgary Child and Family
  Services (Child Welfare)
• Kendra Nixon, RESOLVE Alberta

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Acknowledgements

• Funders
• The Canadian Society for the Investigation of
  Child Abuse
• The Institute for Gender Research, University of
  Calgary
• Research Assistants
• Janie Christensen
• Chris Arrowsmith
• Nathalie Forrest

4
Literature

• 5-7 of women suffer such severe PMS that it
  incapacitates their daily coping (University of
  Pennsylvania Medical Centre, 1991).
• One significant daily activity for many women is
  parenting.
• Research has linked PMS with
• irritability and interpersonal problems (Marean,
  Fox, Cumming Cumming, 1998)
• anxiety (Picone Kirkby, 1990)
• impulsivity (Howard, Mason Taghavi, 1994)
• suggesting the impact of symptoms on families.

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• Very little research has been conducted on the
  interplay between PMS and parenting
• As early as 1986, Brown Zimmer called for
  research on the effects of premenstrual syndrome
  on children and the marital relationship. They
  expressed concern about a group of women in their
  study who reported loss of control, child
  battering, self injury and accidents.

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• Mohan Grewal (1990) in India found that
  children perceived mothers with severe PMS as
  poorer in the areas of academic, social,
  recreational, demonstration of love, and
  personality development, compared to mothers with
  few PMS symptoms.
• In 2000, Robinson Swindle reported that of 92
  women with severe PMS symptoms, 77.6 identified
  relationships with children as an area in which
  PMS symptoms frequently or always interfere.

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Research Design

• In-depth qualitative interviews (40 women)
• Parenting Stress Index (Abidin) for parents with
  children under the age of 12 years)
• Stress Inventory for Parents of Adolescents
  (Abidin) for parents with teenage children
• PMS Checklist
• Demographic form

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Ages of Women of 40 women
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Racial Origin of 40 women
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Marital Status of 40 women
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Educational Level of 38 women
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Occupation of 37 women
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Number of Children of 40 women
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Ages of Children of 76 children
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Duration of PMS Symptoms in days of 37 women
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Physical Symptoms of 68 responses
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Emotional Symptoms of 129 responses
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Quotations

• I just couldnt deal with it. And knowing the
  whole time that you are doing stupid things that
  you just, Why am I doing that? Its just like
  somebody else is in therelike youre crazyan
  awful, awful feeling.
• Some days youre driving in traffic and pms-ing
  and you want your machine gun so you can kill all
  the stupid people in the world! You know?

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• I get pms for about two weeks before my period
  actually starts. It starts off kind of mild --
  the last couple of days is different. For those
  two weeks Ill get tense, irritable, like the
  least little thing will make me really angry, and
  its much harder to control that anger. And then
  for one or two days before, Ill get really sad
  and every little thing makes me cry, I mean just
  little things, just a sad thought and Ill burst
  into tears.

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• One time I dont know what set me off.I was
  stuffing a turkey and I got so mad I just grabbed
  the turkey and just threw it across the kitchen.
  And umwe have Corel dishes and it hit the bowl
  and they just explode! These poor kids must
  have been so scared. And months later I was
  picking Corel pieces out of the window ledges and
  oh, it wasawful. I cant even remember what
  happened but I dont know why I snapped but
  something must have set me off.
•  

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Mothers Reaction to Children - of 130 responses
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Quotations

• For that week, just wondering when Im going to
  snap and, when shes not even doing anything, all
  of a sudden like, just Ill drop something or,
  something and Ill just blow ballistic- and
  Ill go, Where did that come from?
• When I have pms - Ive got way less resources
  than normally, much more emotional triggered. I
  have this gut reaction of adrenaline that gets
  triggered when this three year old whines. So
  when it is whining and stuff, you know, I have
  many fantasies of hurting my children.

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• I tend to be a bit scary and they become afraid
  of me. Just, just in that Im just volatile you
  know.
• Interviewer So when you say youre telling her
  off for things, do you mean youre scolding her
  more? No, screaming at her. Screaming at her is
  the word for it and shes got to plug her ears
  now all the time. Mommy, why are you screaming
  at me, why are you yelling at me? I also force
  her practically to eat the food and then shell
  puke it up, mind you.

24

• I spanked him on his bum really hard and he
  started crying and I said, Ill give you
  something to cry about, and I spanked him again
  on his bum. I remember feeling that I could just
  keep spanking and spanking him. I knew I wouldnt
  kill him or do something bizarre, but I didnt
  know if I could stop spanking him. Interviewer
  But you did stop. I did, and then I held him
  tight. What kind of message is that sending to
  your child youre screaming and spanking and
  then youre hugging him.

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• I used to break my pots, I used to smack them so
  hard on my kitchen counters. But I kept thinking,
  hit the counter and not my kids. You know,
  cause I didnt want to be my mother again. And it
  probably saved my kids. Im sure if I ever got
  loose on my kids, I would have hurt them. I never
  hurt anybody husband included- but Ive broken
  a lot of things over the years instead of hitting
  my kids.

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• I tap his hand so he knows. Its a light little
  tap. Physical .but see, my taps get a little
  harder at PMS. Like thisinstead of like this
  (demonstrating). Never Ive never hurt him.
  But sometimes I am scared that I will hurt him. I
  just remove myself .

27

• I gave them the wooden spoon, both of them. They
  had been screaming, fighting and I kept trying to
  get them to calm down and to stop mommys not
  feeling good. Finally, I just ran and got the
  spoon, and ran into their rooms and grabbed their
  hands. I was like, wap, wap and they both just
  looked at me and started screaming.

28

• Susie would not sit on that toilet. And it drove
  me nuts! Thats one of the things that I remember
  because it was either throw the potty or
  throwher, and I took the potty and I just and
  there was pee in the potty so I remember, I
  didnt even clean it, it was so bad. I called my
  mother-in-law and said, I cant do it today. 

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Childrens Reactions to Parent of 88 responses
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Mother Reaction to Child POST PMS of 44
responses

• Be positive/Change back to normal 41.0
  
• Overcompensate, be more lenient
  31.9
  
• Feel guilty 11.4
• No change 9.1
  
• Apologize and explain 4.6
• Doesnt answer question accurately
  2.3

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Quotation

• I struggle with the guilt thing. Often I do this
  retrospective, oh, its the third day in a row
  weve sat around the house instead of having gone
  out somewhere. I dont know that Ive catalogued
  it this closely (laughs), but I suspect that I
  over-correct, that Im trying to compensate. And
  instead of lets get back to normal, its, these
  children have put up with me being crazy for two
  weeks, wed better be really nice to them.

32
Child Welfare Involvement

• No 74.4
• Yes 25.6

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Child Welfare Status of 10 women

• Status investigation to close 3
• Status- investigation to open support 2
• Status TGO/CA/in care 3
• Service provided status unknown 2
• Not prepared to discuss 1
• CW involvement as child 1

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Quotations

• Years ago I called Childrens Aid and reported
  myself. There was a little boy I was watching and
  he son told him to put his finger in his
  cigarette lighter. And I would never fathom, they
  were only little, but I didnt kick him with
  force. But I took my foot and pushed my son on
  the butt and said, get walking. I just wanted
  to cool down. I remember calling Child Welfare
  thinking, Jesus, you just cant do stuff like
  that. I was obviously my own worst enemy but I
  thought I was doing the right thing.

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• The PMS got me there psychiatrist to begin
  with, Im sure of it. Well, my kids learned to
  distrust people a long time ago after the
  former head of psychiatry determined that I was
  emotionally unfit when we went to a few things
  related to PMS. It was because of
  PMSInterviewer PMS related things that he
  tried to take your children away? Well, I went
  to him because it was affecting my parenting. I
  wanted good role models, they were supposed to
  provide me with them. (Her children were all
  later removed by child welfare.)

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Partners Response to Womans PMS of 56
responses
37
Quotations

• Well, he doesnt respond very well to it, not at
  all. Half of the time he reacts to it and then I
  react to it and you know, I told him last time,
  You know, you could be the mature one and just
  walk away and not put up with this. But no, you
  have to get into it and put more into it and then
  it explodes for both of us.
• He runs!
• Its likeI have no idea whats going on here,
  Ill see ya in a week, ten days, you knowso I
  get angry and withdrawn.

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Womens Reactions to Partner
39
Quotation

• For a while every month I wanted to leave I
  wanted to divorce my husband cause he was the
  biggest creep in the world. And then finally
  when I started keeping a calendar, I would wait
  until I had my period and then once the period
  started I would think Oh you know, hes actually
  not bad, hes quite a nice guy! and then I
  realized the pattern and I started stopping
  wanting to leave every month because I thought
  Okay, if I feel like this only three days a
  month, its not worth it.

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Womens Needs from Partner during PMS of 32
responses
41
Quotations

• I guess it would be helpful if the kids were
  taken to a deserted island for a week. That
  would be helpful.
• I just need him to take her.take her away.just
  so that I wouldnt have to deal with her.
• I need a little more understanding sometimes
  hes like I do it on purpose or that I want to
  be like that.

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Future for Self if PMS continues of 36 responses
43
Future for Family of 36 responses
44
Quotation

• If my PMS continued the way it was? Oh my God.
  Icant even imagine(silence) its really hard
  to go back, you know? And see butI might have
  tried suicide .I dont knowIt was.. at the
  time, it was that, you know, this endsthis
  endsthis endsand that keeps me going but ohit
  was horrible, just horrible, and to dread every
  month of your life, because you know its coming
  againit was just..I cant even imagine what my
  family would be like..

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Quotation

• If my PMS continued the way it was? Oh my God. I
  cant even imagine(silence). Its really hard to
  go back and see butI might have tried suicide I
  dont know. At the time, it was that, this
  endsthis endsthis endsand that keeps me going
  but ohit was horrible, just horrible, and to
  dread every month of your life, because you know
  its coming againit was justI cant even
  imagine what my family would be like.

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(No Transcript)
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And we especially give thanks that mothers
menstrual period is over for another month!
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Partners Response to Womans PMS of 56
responses
49
Quotations

• Well, he doesnt respond very well to it, not at
  all. Half of the time he reacts to it and then I
  react to it and you know, I told him last time,
  You know, you could be the mature one and just
  walk away and not put up with this. But no, you
  have to get into it and put more into it and then
  it explodes for both of us.
• He runs!
• Its likeI have no idea whats going on here,
  Ill see ya in a week, ten days, you knowso I
  get angry and withdrawn.

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Womens Reactions to Partner
51
Quotation

• For a while every month I wanted to leave I
  wanted to divorce my husband cause he was the
  biggest creep in the world. And then finally
  when I started keeping a calendar, I would wait
  until I had my period and then once the period
  started I would think Oh you know, hes actually
  not bad, hes quite a nice guy! and then I
  realized the pattern and I started stopping
  wanting to leave every month because I thought
  Okay, if I feel like this only three days a
  month, its not worth it.

52
Womens Needs from Partner during PMS of 32
responses
53
Quotations

• I guess it would be helpful if the kids were
  taken to a deserted island for a week. That
  would be helpful.
• I just need him to take her.take her away.just
  so that I wouldnt have to deal with her.
• I need a little more understanding sometimes
  hes like I do it on purpose or that I want to
  be like that.

54
Future for Self if PMS continues of 36 responses
55
Future for Family of 36 responses
56
Quotation

• If my PMS continued the way it was? Oh my God.
  Icant even imagine(silence) its really hard
  to go back, you know? And see butI might have
  tried suicide .I dont knowIt was.. at the
  time, it was that, you know, this endsthis
  endsthis endsand that keeps me going but ohit
  was horrible, just horrible, and to dread every
  month of your life, because you know its coming
  againit was just..I cant even imagine what my
  family would be like..

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Strategies Tried for PMS of 116 responses
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Treatments Tried of 44 responses
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Quotation

• There would be days when I was in my bedroom
  crying, and my husband asked me what was wrong,
  can I do anything and its,nobody in the world
  can do anything.' After a few months, that was
  enough of that. I just didnt want to do that
  anymore. The nice part about PMS is that you can
  look back on it and say, Oh my God, that was
  horrible. But when youre in it, youre sad,
  your life is sadyour whole life is sad and
  thats just the way it is and dont anybody talk
  to me about it cause thats the way it is. I
  dont do that anymore with Prozac.

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Implications from the research

• Many parents and children need additional support
  during PMS.
• PMS may be a predictable risk factor for child
  abuse in some families. Child welfare workers
  should ask women if PMS is an issue. If it is,
  apprehensions could be avoided and in-home
  support used in a more cost effective manner for
  specified days of the month.
• Understanding the effects of PMS on parenting is
  important for clinicians and public health
  nurses.

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• The fact that over one-third of the women
  interviewed were not using any treatment for
  their symptoms raises questions about the
  availability of information about different
  treatment options.
• Work against the stigma of acknowledging that PMS
  can severely affect some women.

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• Actions on the part of medical authorities are
  beneficial for women who fear theyre on their
  own when it comes to their premenstrual problems.
  It is hoped that womens organizations, the
  medical and others will join in contributing to
  dialogue that alleviates the misinformation and
  stigma associated with PMDD. (Society for
  Womens Health Research, 1999)