COM 101: Introduction to Interpersonal Communication

1
COM 101 Introduction to Interpersonal
Communication

• Instructor Iva Thelen
• Spring 2006
• Lecture 8

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Overview

• Lecture
• Activity

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Emotions Communication

• What are emotions?
• What is Emotional Intelligence?

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Lets Take the Test.

• See page 184

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What Influences Emotions?

• Physiology
• Perception
• Social

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Obstacles

• Reasons we may not express emotions
• Ineffective expression of emotions

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Guidelines for Communicating Emotions Effectively

• Identify you emotions
• Choose how to communicate your emotions
• Own you feelings
• Monitor your self-talk
• Adopt a rational-emotive approach to feelings
  see p. 204
• Respond sensitively when others communicate
  emotions

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Buddy Up

• Find a partner and discuss an emotional situation
  that you are encountering.
• Utilize the Guidelines for Communicating Emotions
  Effectively.
• Each person should share an emotional situation.

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Direct vs. Indirect Communication

• What is Indirect Comm.?
• What is Direct Comm.?

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Indirect Communication

• Pseudo-Questions
• Co-optive Questions Dont you agree that
  Wouldnt it be nice if
• Set-up and Gotcha Questions Is it fair to
  sayDidnt you say that
• Hypothetical Questions What if Would that
  work if you had?
• Punitive Questions When are you going to.. Did
  you do that?

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Indirect Communication

• Projection attribute our thoughts and feelings
  to other people.
• People here are really bored.
• We are all in agreement.
• Second-Guessing speculation about the other
  persons motives or intentions.
• What you really mean is..
• What youre really trying to do is

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Indirect Communication

• Deflection
• Speaking of control, its really hard to control
  absenteeism.
• One of my students is out again to day because
  of the flu.
• Talking About People
• I think Bills idea is way off base.
• Joan seems to be on the right track.

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Consequences of Indirect Communication

• Watered down or misleading methods of
  communicating personal opinions and intentions.
• Less risky but less influential, less powerful
  and less explicit
• Ambiguous and more vulnerable to misinterpretation

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Direct Communication

• We communicate directly by making our own
  statements, speaking to people and practicing
  listening checks.
• More influential
• Many misunderstandings will be eliminated.

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Techniques for Direct Communication

• Speak to People Acknowledge the individual
  rather than saying
• Bill has a good idea, or Joans idea just
  wont work.
• Say
• Bill, I like your idea, or Joan, I dont
  think your plan will work.

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Techniques for Direct Communication

• Make I Statements
• Own you Own Feelings I am bored. instead of
  People are bored. or state I am bored, and I
  think others are too.
• Practice Listening Checks

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Consequences of Direct Communication

• Offers greater clarity and less chance for
  misinterpretation
• More powerful and influential because of its
  vulnerability
• Riskier because it highlights differences of
  opinions and creates opportunities for really
  having to deal with issues in a forthright
  manner.
• Has the potential to create and build
  relationships based on openness, mutual trust and
  respect.

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In Perspective

• Bias
• Believe that you should be aware of your options
  and make your choices with full knowledge of the
  consequences.
• Direct could be too risky
• Direct is not necessary if you do not intend to
  build a relationship with the other person

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The Activity

• Need four volunteers to demonstrate an emotional
  situation and how Indirect and Direct
  Communications can make a difference in the
  outcome.

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For Thursday

• Activity