Improving Interpersonal Relationships

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Chapter 7

• Improving Interpersonal Relationships

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After studying the material in this chapter. . .

• You should understand
• the role of communication climate in
  interpersonal relationships.
• types of messages that contribute to confirming
  and disconfirming climates.
• the unavoidable but potentially problematic role
  of conflict in interpersonal relationships.

3
After studying the material in this chapter. . .

• You should understand
• characteristics of nonassertive, directly
  aggressive, passive-aggressive, indirect, and
  assertive communications.
• the influence of culture and gender on conflict
  styles.
• the differences between winlose, loselose,
  compromising, and winwin approaches to conflict
  resolution.

4
After studying the material in this chapter. . .

• You should be able to
• identify disconfirming messages and replace them
  with confirming ones, using the Gibb categories
  of supportive communication.
• describe the degree to which you use
  nonassertive, directly aggressive, passive
  aggressive, indirect, and assertive messages and
  choose more satisfying responses as necessary.

5
After studying the material in this chapter. . .

• You should be able to
• compose and deliver an assertive message, using
  the behaviourinterpretationfeelingconsequencei
  ntention format.
• apply the winwin approach to an interpersonal
  conflict.

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Chapter highlights

• Communication climates are intangible but
  critical ingredients in relational satisfaction.
• In the first part of this chapter, you will learn
• what makes some messages confirming and other
  messages disconfirming.
• how communication climates develop.
• some tips for creating positive communication
  climates.

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Chapter highlights

• The second half of this chapter focuses on
  conflict in relationships, including
• the nature of conflict,
• how people express conflict,
• the influence of gender and culture on conflict
  in relationships, and
• methods of conflict resolution, including the
  winwin approach.

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Communication climates in interpersonal
relationships

• Confirming and disconfirming messages
• How communication climates develop
• Creating positive communication climates
• Evaluation versus description
• Control versus problem orientation

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Communication climates in interpersonal
relationships

• Strategy versus spontaneity
• Neutrality versus empathy
• Superiority versus equality
• Certainty versus provisionalism

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Table 7.1
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Table 7.1 (continued)
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Table 7.2
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Managing interpersonal conflict

• The nature of conflict
• Expressed struggle
• Perceived incompatible goals
• Perceived scarce rewards
• Interdependence

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Managing interpersonal conflict

• Styles of expressing conflict
• Nonassertion
• Direct aggression
• Passive aggression
• Indirect communication
• Assertion

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Managing interpersonal conflict

• Characteristics of an assertive message
• Behavioural description
• Your interpretation of the other persons
  behaviour
• A description of your feelings
• A description of the consequences
• A statement of your intentions

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Managing interpersonal conflict

• Gender and conflict style
• Cultural influences on conflict
• Methods of conflict resolution
• Win Lose
• Lose lose
• Compromise
• Win win

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Table 7.4
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Managing interpersonal conflict

• Steps in win win problem-solving
• Identify your problem and unmet needs
• Make a date
• Describe your problem and needs
• Partner checks back
• Solicit your partners needs

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Managing interpersonal conflict

• Check your understanding of your partner's needs
• Negotiate a solution
• Follow-up on the solution