Do Surrogates Develop an Attachment With the Baby?

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Do Surrogates Develop an Attachment With the Baby?
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Do Surrogates Get Attached to the Baby?

• This is probably the most common question
  surrounding gestational surrogacy. At times its
  a big concern of the intended parents or the
  general population who try to understand such a
  selfless act. The key is realizing that,
  surrogacy isnt giving up a child, instead its
  giving the child back to the parents. The
  emotional transfer of the surrogate baby must be
  addressed during the course of the journey.

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Is there an emotional attachment to the
surrogate-born baby?

• It seems obvious, at first glance, that a
  surrogate mother would get attached to the child,
  considering she is carrying a baby for months and
  will be giving birth, which is an incredibly
  emotional process. However, from the beginning,
  women choose to be surrogates, not to have a baby
  of their own, but to help others build a family.
  Overall, gestational carriers become surrogates
  to help Intended Parents, not to be attached to
  the baby.

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The Surrogacy Screening Process

• The American Society for Reproductive Medicine
  (ASRM) strongly recommends that gestational
  carriers receive a psychological evaluation and
  counselling. A responsible agency,
  like Physicians Surrogacy, will facilitate a
  full mental health evaluation and thorough
  psychological testing. We pride ourselves on our
  thorough screening process, to ensure each
  surrogate is committed to the journey.

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• The clinical interview is an important piece,
  letting the agency know why or how important it
  is to help Intended Parents.  The trifecta
  clinical interview, psychosocial testing and
  records review is key when evaluating a surrogacy
  candidate. Choosing to become a surrogate may not
  be the right fit for someone who has a history of
  serious postpartum issues or who has recently
  experienced a loss and is still in the grieving
  process.

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• Also, its mandatory for all potential surrogates
  in San Diego to have their own children before
  being matched. It is advised and very important
  to ask whatever questions you have about whats
  expected of you.

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The Concerns of Intended Parents

• Some Intended Parents may have concerns that the
  gestational carrier will want to keep the baby.
  And besides why wouldnt they think that? They
  have no way of knowing anything about the
  gestational carrier or their motivation.
• Luckily, most relationships between Intended
  Parents and surrogates turn out to be incredibly
  positive. Many times, these will end up creating
  a life-long friendship.

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• Here are some tips that will help you as a
  surrogate build the trust with Intended Parents
  based on mutual respect
• Understand the Intended Parents lack of
  control They might have waited years to have a
  baby. They will give up control of the childs
  development and trust you with it. This can be
  nerve-wracking for them. So, it is important to
  empathize with their feelings.

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• Be flexible with the Intended Parents
  desires Intended Parents would give anything to
  be in your position and become pregnant with
  their own child. Some of their desires may seem
  overwhelming to you, but try to understand their
  feelings
• Treat them as you would like to be treated The
  success of your relationship depends on mutual
  understanding and respect. Your pregnancy might
  be harder for them than to you, besides you are
  not alone on your surrogacy journey.

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How does surrogacy affect the child?

• Research indicates that attachment begins to
  develop even before the baby is born. Like any
  other new born children, a surrogate-born child
  will be introduced to the new world and with the
  help of their parents can adapt quickly. Taking
  an active part in preparation for the baby will
  help with the emotional transfer after birth.
  Intended Parents and the surrogate should discuss
  how the babys first moments should go.

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Managing emotions beyond the birth

• Once the baby has gone home with their Intended
  Parents, the surrogate will return to her day to
  day life, but one question always remains will
  there be an emotional connection? For some, this
  period can be complex. Intended Parents often
  recognize this as well. Fortunately, this feeling
  is temporary and can be assuaged by the fact that
  the surrogates have their own children to love
  and cherish. They slowly understand that the baby
  was never theirs to begin with. To help speed up
  the process of recovering emotions after birth,
  some surrogates make specific plans, such as
  taking a trip with their family to refocus and
  adjust.  

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Moving Forward

• Physicians Surrogacy is the leading surrogate
  agency in San Diego, with over an 80 pregnancy
  rate. This is a direct result of the over 150
  years of combined experience among our
  embryologists and doctors. To set up a free
  consultation, you can visit us at www.physicianssu
  rrogacy.com  or call us at [phone].