Emotional Intelligence is Key to Getting Things Done

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In this series, Dont Let Adversity Derail Your
Work, 7 Things to Remember That Will Keep Your
Work on Track, weve discussed how negotiation, pe
rsonal responsibility, and owning up to the fact
that your colleagues dont see the world as you
do can be the difference between doing great work
and falling short of career goals. Simply
knowing that the people you work beside dont
approach their day with the same doers
perspective as you doesnt magically make it
easier to do great work. With this knowledge you
become responsible for navigating the emotional
mine field that is working with people who think
differently than you. In my last post for this
series I mentioned that your colleagues will
often present you with barriers to the things you
hope to achieve. I also discussed that some of
those barriers are only the tip of the iceberg,
that youll have to work to uncover the root to
what is obstructing your success. Seldom are the
colleagues with limiting outlooks or beliefs
eager to share the full story of why theyve
decided something cant be done. For this reason
it becomes your responsibility to unearth the
full story, because only with all the facts can
will you have the foresight to overcome the
supposed roadblock.
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A major theme in Joe Navarros book, Louder Than
Words, is that in most cases people arent trying
to lie to you and that most people arent being
malicious when they omit important details. Their
withholding of information is more likely to be
the result of their own discomfort with telling
you the whole story. It only takes a little bit
of what Navarro calls non-verbal intelligence
 Daniel Goldman might consider it emotional
intelligence to clue into the discomfort that
people have when they tell you something other
than the whole truth. Navarros Louder Than
Words is a great introduction to what some of the
clues are. Being able to identify discomfort is
important because it is the signs of discomfort
that will tell you there is more to a story more
facts that you can use in overcoming an obstacle
to your goal. It could be in their tone of
voice, it could be the way they shift in their
chair, or the way they hold their hands that lets
you know that the reality of the situation has
more depth.
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Even if the person is purposely keeping
information from you, as most are in the
antidotes Navarro shares in Louder Than
Words, building rapport and gently circling the
conversation back to topics that have caused
someone to feel uneasy is how he was able to get
the full story from some of the FBIs most wanted
criminals. Chances are your work doesnt require
you to interrogate criminals trying to maintain
their innocents. Its much more likely that the
people who are placing limits on the things you
are trying to accomplish arent telling you the
full truth because they dont want to look
incompetent. If youre a team leader or manager
learning not to accept anything but the desired
outcome can help you accomplish a lot. Its
important however, that you inquire about what
others consider to be roadblocks in a way that
doesnt cause them to become defensive in an
emotionally intelligent manner. Navarros method
of circling back to topics in conversation is
meant to be indirect. In a working environment
this might include asking questions of team
members that help you both to better understand
the circumstance and its possible solutions.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR Brendan Alan Barrett, writes
about professional development at www.StartInPhx.c
om, a blog dedicated to the mission of career
success without student-debt. Brendan is also the
author of READ WRITE DO Professional Development
and Career Success Playbook, a book written for
people who want to jump start the career theyve
wanted for way too long.