Damaging Affects Divorce has on Children

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Damaging Affects Divorce has on Children
Sara A. Barr
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With the divorce rate in the United States
rapidly increasing, more and more children are
forced to deal with a broken home. According to
the web site www.divorcemag.com, the likelihood
of a new marriage ending in divorce in 1997 was
43. That number is now hovering over the 50
mark.
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• When a divorce occurs and there are children
  involved, it is often harder for children to cope
  with than the parents. According to
  www.divorcesource.com, there are five main
  categories of children that cope with this
  traumatic experience, all being affected in
  different ways
• Birth to 18 months (Infancy)
• 18 months to 3 years (Toddlers)
• 3 to 5 years (Preschoolers)
• 6 to 11 years (Elementary School Years)
• 12 to 18 years (Early/Late Adolescence)

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Birth to 18 Months (Infancy)
Contrary to what many people believe, babies are
capable of sensing tension that is surrounding
them. Although they are unable to detect what is
causing it, they feel their parents distress.

• Possible Reactions to a Divorce
• Uneasy Stomach
• Loss of Appetite
• Irregular Eating Habits

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Ages 18 Months to 3 Years (Toddlers)
Children at this age are starting to build a
strong bond with their parents. Children at this
age want their immediate needs met, considering
that their world revolves around themselves.

• Possible Reactions to a Divorce
• Increase in Crying
• Difficulties Sleeping
• Begin to form irregular habits
• Requesting more attention than normal

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Ages 3 to 5 (Preschoolers)
This is the age in which children begin to feel
ultimately responsible for their parents
divorce. It is extremely important to reiterate
that the child is not to blame.

• Possible Reactions to a Divorce
• Uncertain feelings about the future
• Nightmares may begin
• Keeping anger trapped inside
• Unpleasant thoughts and/or ideas
• Feeling a sense of responsibility

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Ages 6 to 11 (Elementary School Years)
Children at this age are able to understand the
basics of divorce. However, they have a fear of
being abandoned, and will quite often blame one
parent for the separation.

• Possible Reactions to a Divorce
• Believes parents will get back together
• Feels rejected by parent that left the home
• Feels abandoned and alone
• Fakes being sick to stay home from school
• Often recalls how things used to be

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Ages 12 to 18 (Early-Late Adolescence)
At this age, children are fully aware of what is
happening between their parents. They may choose
to just stay uninvolved or become involved.

• Possible Reactions to a Divorce
• Regress into security of childhood
• May form escape routes such as alcohol, drugs
  or promiscuity
• Depression
• Loyalty Conflicts

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How Children Feel
According to the book Children of Separation and
Divorce, that in many divorce cases children
believe that they are at fault for their parents
separation. Often justifying their parents
divorce by believing that the separation is due
to their behavior. Because of this, it is very
important that parents reiterate the fact that
their divorce is at no fault the childs.
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How Children Feel Cont
Another feeling children often feel is that
because their parents are divorcing each other
that they too will be divorced from the family.
Children are incredibly vulnerable, especially
during a time like this and need a lot of
reassurance.
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Depression
Through and post divorce children are most
susceptible to becoming depressed. They feel
alone and dont feel that they can trust anyone.
They feel betrayed by their parents for splitting
up their home and often will not talk to one or
both parents. By cutting off their parents, they
feel that they are getting back at their
parents for putting them through so much pain.
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In Conclusion..
When a child is forced to deal with a divorce the
child will go through many changes. Feelings of
sadness, guilt, depression, anger, and perhaps
even hatred. Although dealing with these
feelings is rough, it is important to give
support and counsel children through this
life-changing experience.
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Works Cited

• Stuart, Irving and Abt, Lawrence. Children of
  Separation and Divorce. New York, New York
  Van Nostrand Reinhold Company, 1981.
• Divorce Source. 1996-2003. http//www.divorcesou
  rce.com
• Divorce Magazine. 1996-2003. http//www.divorcema
  g.com