Chapter 7 DuBrin

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Chapter 7 (DuBrin)

• Handling Conflict and Being Assertive

Mending Walls
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Objectives

• Identify reasons that conflict between people
  takes place so often

• Pinpoint several helpful and harmful consequences
  of conflict

• Choose an effective method of resolving conflict

• Improve your negotiating skills

• Improve your assertion skills

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Conflict

• Two sets of demands, goals, or motives are
  incompatible.
• Often lead to hostility or antagonism.
• Also can be considered a dispute, feud, or
  controversy.

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Detrimental Results of Conflict

• physical and mental health problems
• wasted resources
• the promotion of self-interest
• workplace violence

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Beneficial Results of Conflict

• emergence of talents and abilities
• constructive innovation and change
• increased unity after the conflict is settled
• Avoids quick and unhelpful agreement

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Why so much conflict?

• Competition for limited resources
• Personality differences
• Diverse teams/ workforce
• Stone walls and the need to be right
• Sexual harassment
• Ethnic/ Racial harassment
• Competing Work and Family demands

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Competition for limited resources
Reasons for Conflict

• Money
• Material
• Supplies
• Human help
• The Need to win or be right

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Personality differences
Reasons for Conflict

• Generational
• Personal Attributes
• Preferences
• Interests
• Values
• Styles

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Generational Differences
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Diverse teams/ workforce
Reasons for Conflict

• Ethnicity
• Religion
• Gender
• Differing educational backgrounds
• Inability to communicate because of all the above.

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Stone walls and the need to be right
Reasons for Conflict

• The pinch.
• Frequent arguments
• Communication breakdown.

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Sexual harassment
Reasons for Conflict

• Unwanted sexual behavior resulting in discomfort
• A way of gaining power
• A form of aggression/ intentional harm
• A way of achieving an important personal goal
• Two types quid pro quo, hostility (most common)
• Negative effect on productivity

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Hostile Environment Behavior
Reasons for Conflict

• Inappropriate remarks and sexual implications
• Terms of endearment
• Suggestive complements
• Physical touching
• Unwelcome visual harassment
• Work related kissing

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Ethnic/ Racial harassment
Reasons for Conflict

• Excluding on the basis of ethnicity
• Ethnic slurs/ comments/ jokes
• Causes lower levels of well-being.

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Competing Work and Family Demands
Reasons for Conflict

• Caused by multiple and incompatible roles as
  worker, spouse, partner, parent.
• Frequent cause of conflict

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Resolving Work/ Family Conflict
Reasons for Conflict

• Flexible work schedules
• Family leave programs
• Dependent-care programs
• Compassionate attitude
• Recognition that work and personal life can be
  complementary. Takes individual cases into
  consideration.

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Conflict Resolution Techniques

• Confrontation
• Disarm the opposition
• Cognitive restructuring
• Appeal to a third party
• The grievance procedure
• Engage in metacommunications
• Use negotiation and bargaining tactics

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Confrontation
Conflict Resolution

• Most recommended
• Gentle and tactful (reasonableness)
• Focuses on the problem at hand, not personalities
• Compromise
• Win-Win - both sides gain something of value

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Disarm the opposition
Conflict Resolution

• When quick agreement pays off better than a
  counterattack.
• Your overall position and power are preserved.

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Cognitive restructuring

• mentally converting negative aspects into
  positive ones by looking for the positive
  elements in a situation.
• Reduces the disputed agenda.

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Appeal to a third party (such as a government
agency).

• Boss
• Union Steward
• HR manager
• Take opponent to court

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Engage in metacommunications

• Communicating about communicating
• Talking about differences in communication as
  they relate to the conflict can soften the
  conflict.
• Lunch date

Level and tone of voice. Body language. Choice
of words. (Consider the difference between
disabled and crippled.) Speaking objectively
instead of generalizing.
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Negotiation and Bargaining

• Positive Climate for Negotiation
• Allowing Room for Reasonable Compromise
• Your best interests come before the position you
  defend.
• The final offer/ counter-offer
• Negotiation is not about you. When you win your
  opponent should think he/ she won.
• Valuable relationships must be preserved.

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More about negotiation on the Internet

• More negotiation tactics (Win-Win)
• More negotiation tactics (Win-Lose)

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Assertiveness

• Assertive people say clearly what they want and
  how they feel without being abusive, abrasive, or
  obnoxious.

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Becoming more assertive

• Set a goal.
• Appear warm and friendly
• Make legitimate telephone calls to strangers.
• To become adept at talking with strangers
• Conduct anonymous conversations.
• Greet strangers
• Practice being decisive (make up your mind for
  yourself)

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What about polarizing ideas?

• Abortion
• Marriage
• Right to die
• ANWR
• Biblical Inerrancy/ Literalism

Alternative Conflict Managementhttp//ohioline.os
u.edu/hyg-fact/5000/5277.html http//www.forgivene
ss-institute.org/
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Conflict Management Links for further information.

• http//www.ctic.purdue.edu/KYW/Brochures/ManageCon
  flict.html
• http//www.cnr.berkeley.edu/ucce50/ag-labor/7labor
  /13.htm
• http//www.mapnp.org/library/grp_skll/grp_cnfl/grp
  _cnfl.htm