How to Handle Difficult People

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How to Handle Difficult People
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Tip 1

• People aren't Difficulttheyre Different

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Five Misconceptions in Communication

• People always listen to you when you are
  speaking to them
• When people say theyre paying attention, they
  really are
• When someone says I understand, he or she
  really does
• Saying something over over ensures that your
  listener understands
• Saying something over over loudly will be even
  more effective than just saying it over over

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Tip 2

• If what youre doing is not workingFind a new
  way to do it!

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Why do difficult people resist new ideas and
opinions?

• Resistance to change
• Resistance due to bad mood
• Resistance due to invasion of territory

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Why do difficult people resist new ideas and
opinions? (con.)

• Resistance due to irritation
• Resistance due to negativity
• Resistance due to fear
• Resistance due to perceived roles

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Tip 3

• Resistance does not mean NO

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Six Keys to Conquering Resistance

• Acknowledge validate the other persons
  concerns
• Anticipate and voice the other persons
  objectives
• Watch for red flag words

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Six Keys (cont.)

• Exercise self control
• Focus on solutions not blame
• Be clear about what you want

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Tip 4

• Deal with the problem not the symptoms

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Minimizing difficult encounters

• Build trust
• Demand consistency
• Communicate constantly
• Use praise liberally
• Encourage growth

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Tip 5

• Be descriptive not Judgmental

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Steps to handling conflict

• Listen to the others issues
• Seek first to understand, then to be understood
• Describe back to the individual their point of
  view
• formulate and suggest possible outcomes

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Tip 6

• People who anger you
• Control you

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Difficult people Classic Types
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The Bull

• Characteristic - Bossy, Intimidating
• Reason - To intimidate and control
• Goal - Focus on the issues, avoid emotions

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The Fox

• Characteristics - Long winded, does not confront
  directly
• Reason - To get attention
• Goal - Surface the attack

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The Stone wall

• Characteristics - Silent, and unresponsive
• Reason - To control the situation
• Goal - Get a response

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Tip 7

• Any behavior not confronted will continue

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The 5 commandments for changing attitudes

• Arguments never work
• Respect, value the differences in people
• Fault does not matter
• Start with areas of agreement
• Listen for understanding

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Tip 8

• If you keep doing what youve always done, youll
  keep getting what youve always gotten