Anger

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Anger

• The good, the bad and the ugly

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Definitions?

• An emotion only?
• Mix of thoughts, feelings and behaviours
  associated with annoyance. Extreme end hostility
  re person or situation.
• Social script we learn do anger
• Value laden emotion
• Can be a shameful emotion

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Good, Bad or Ugly ?

• Process,
• History,
• A current story,
• Future influence

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Bad for your health?

• Releases the stress hormones
• Heart rate goes up 180 vs. to 80
• Blood pressure goes up
• The flight or flight response
• Chronic or ruminative anger
• Increased risk of heart disease stroke
• Digestion problems
• Repairing relationships
• Stuck with resentments or bitterness
• Reduces general performance and problem solving
• For some gives permission for aggression

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You will not be punished for your anger you will
be punished by your anger.
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Helpful

• Alerting
• Survival
• Motivator for change
• Expressing it in a useful way that does not hurt
  others

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When is it a problem?
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Problem

• You recognize your are overreacting
• Do you feel you need to get angry to get what you
  want?
• Someone alerts you
• Wake up call
• Causing damage we regret
• People state they are afraid of raising
  difficulties with you because of your anger

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Myths of anger

• Venting is healthy
• Anger is instinctual vs. we thrive on nurturance
• Anger always leads to aggression
• Anger is beyond our control

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Anger formula

• Dont react respond
• Dont buy the myths venting
• Responding to anger is not an easy skill, many
  ups and downs but it can be learned, it needs to
  be practiced.

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Why do chief executives get paid more than
surgeons?
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Tasty baits

• INJUSTICES
• Unfair,
• Wrong,
• Improper, inconsiderate selfish, biased
• bad

• INCOMPTENCES
• Inept,
• Inadequate,
• Stupid, lazy, unprofessional

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Respect Territory How to swim on buy

• Hook book
• Anger event Hook
• partner T.V Unfair
• Who was involved?
• How did it feel ?
• How did you react?
• What was the hook?

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Needs not being met ?

• How would I change the situation if I could ?
• Have I encountered this before?
• Did I bite in the past? Damage or enduring
  consequences ?
• What is my need right now ? What will it mean if
  my need is not met?
• Identify need before you are hooked

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Fill the need or adjust/accept

• ACT Accept thoughts and feelings rather than
  fight, Choose a direction, Take action
• Acceptance is not about passivity
• Riding the tiger
• Responding to anger with compassion rather than
  guilt
• Treating your anger like a baby.

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Other strategies

• Lifestyle / diet etc. Increase opposite
  experience / emotion
• Examine your values, thinking or self talk
• Take time out
• Benefits of tolerance
• Use distraction
• Learn assertiveness

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More strategies

• Rehearse visualize responding in your preferred
  way
• Rehearse with a friend
• Take an opportunity to practice
• Count to 10
• Humour
• Remember that change takes time

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References

• Allan R, PhD Getting Control of your Anger.
  2006.
• The Aust. Psychological Society webpage
• The American Psych Association - webpage
• Counselling Centre University of Sydney Managing
  Anger Worksheet 2007
• Kassinove H, PhD and Tarfate, R.C, PHD Anger
  Management The Complete Treatment Guidebook for
  Practitioners. 2002

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More References

• Eifert G, Mc Kay M, Forsyth P,J. ACT on Life not
  on Anger (2006)