Marital Conflict Interpersonal Conflict

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Marital Conflict (Interpersonal Conflict)

• Alienating and Bonding Fight Tactics

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Alienating Fight Tactics

• Tend to be destructive to relationships and
  ineffective in resolving conflict
• Often intensify conflict and create emotional
  distance between partners

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Four Alienating Fight Tactics

• SabotageOne partner attempts to undermine some
  activity of the other partner.
• Fight EvadingOne avoids fighting no matter how
  angry one is.
• Gunny sacking and Kitchen-Sink FightsOne keeps
  ones grievances secret and lets them pile up.
  After so many pile up that one cant take it
  anymore, the result is a kitchen-sink fight in
  which partners bring up many different totally
  irrelevant past occurrences.
• Mixed MessagesOne sends simultaneous messages
  that contradict each other. One communicates
  anger but at the same time denies the anger.

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Bonding Fight Tactics

• Tend to be more effective that alienating fight
  tactics in resolving conflict
• Are less likely to alienate partners
• May bring the partners closer together
• The key to bonding tactics is that partners try
  to build up each others self esteem

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Five Bonding Fight Tactics

• Use of I-Statements to Avoid AttacksWhy/you
  statements directly assault a partners character
  or self-esteem. I-statements convey positive
  feelings about the partner at the same time that
  negative emotions are expressed.
• Feedback and Information Seeking
• Seek feedback by restating in your own words what
  the partner has said.
• Seek information by simply asking

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Bonding Fight Tactics (continued)

• Focus Anger Only on Specific Issues
• Willingness to Compromise and change
• Dont Try to Win