Bullying in Schools

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Bullying in Schools

• Ann Lee, School Counselor
• George Nettels Elementary

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The bully, the bullied, and the bystander

• It happens everyday in schools
• Bullies terrorize
• Bullied kids are afraid to tell
• Bystanders will watch, participate, or look away

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How to identify a bully

• Bullying is a conscious, willful and deliberate
  hostile activity, intended to harm
• Bullying is not about anger, or even conflict.
  It is about contempt.
• The Bully feels a powerful dislike for someone
  the bully considers to be worthless, inferior, or
  undeserving of respect.

• Contempt allows bullies to harm others without
  feelings of empathy, compassion or shame

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A bully believes he/she has

• A sense of entitlement-the right to control,
  dominate, and abuse another human being
• An intolerance toward difference
• A liberty to exclude-to bar, isolate, and
  segregated a person deemed not worthy of respect

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3 Types of Bullying Situations

• Verbal Bullying
• Most common type of bullying
• Easy to get away with (can be whispered in
  presence of adults and peers without detection)
• Ex. four eyes, big nose, geek, queer,
  fag

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Types of Bullying

• Physical Bullying
• Accounts for less than one-third of the bullying
  incidents reported by children
• Ex. Slapping, hitting, chocking, poking,,
  punching, kicking, biting, pinching, scratching,
  twisting limbs into painful positions, spitting,
  and damaging or destroying clothes and property
  belonging to bullied child.

• Relational Bullying
• The most difficult to detect from outside
• Systematic diminishment of a bullied childs
  sense of self
• Used to alienate and reject a peer or to
  purposefully ruin friendships.
• Ex. Aggressive stares, rolling of eyes, sighs,
  sneers, snickers, spreading of rumors,
  isolateing, ignoring, shunning.

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The warning signs of the bullied.

• Shows an abrupt lack of interest in school, or
  refuses to go to school
• Takes an unusual route to school
• Suffers a drop in grades
• Withdraws from family and school activities
• Is hungry at school
• Steals money from home
• Makes a beeline to the bathroom when arriving
  home
• Is sad, sullen, angry, or scared after receiving
  a phone call or email
• Does something out of character
• Has stomachaches, headaches, panic attacks, is
  unable to sleep, sleeps too much
• Plays alone or prefers to hang with adults

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Why kids dont tell

• They are ashamed of being bullied
• They are afraid of retaliation
• They dont think anyone can help them
• Theyve bought into the lie that bullying is
  necessary to growing up
• They think they are tattling
• They believe that adults are bullies too

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The bystander

• How are they involved?
• They aid the bully through acts of omission and
  commission
• They stand idly by or look away, or they can
  actively encourage the bully or join in.

• As a teacher, you encourage the bystander to
  change their role.
• Bystanders become active witnesses, stand up for
  their peers, speak out against injustice

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As a teacher, what dont you do?

• Do NOT minimize, rationalize, or explain away the
  bullying behavior.
• Dont rush in to solve the problem for the child.
• Dont tell the child to avoid the bully.
• Dont tell the child to fight back.
• Dont confront the bully or the bullying parents
  alone.

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How do you help a child being bullied?

• Tell the student, I hear you I am here for you
  I believe you you are not alone in this.
• Reassure the child it is not their fault

• During investigation, talk with each participant
  individually.
• Document, document, document
• Follow school discipline plan
• Involve principal and counselor
• Notify all parents involved

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Powerful antidotes to bullying

• Students have a strong sense of self
• Having a friend that will stick with them no
  matter what
• Being able to successfully get into a group
• Students get out of a group when it doesnt serve
  them well

• In the classroom, a teacher would
• Nurture empathy toward others
• Have a strong set of classroom rules
• Teach friendship skills
• Teach students to encourage positive
  relationships
• Encourage students to be a witness not a
  bystander to bullying

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Reference

• Coloroso, B. (2003). The bully, the bullied, and
  the bystander From     preschool to high school
  how parents and teachers can help break the cycle
  of violence. New York, NY HarperCollins.

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