DETAILS IN THE DESCRIPTION

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DETAILS IN THE DESCRIPTION

• Brooklyn Technical High School
• Freshman Composition
• Mr. Williams

Learning Objective Use a range of
organizational strategies to present
information. To practice the convention of
Standard Written English Common Core Standards
W.9-10.3. Use a variety of techniques to
sequence events so that they build on one another
to create a coherent whole. L.9-10.1. Demonstrate
command of the conventions of standard English
grammar and usage when writing or speaking.
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Go to sasinschools.comUsername
ususally99modernIn the QL box, type 1171
Learning about Dangling Modifiers to learn
strategies for revising dangling modifiers.
Correct dangling modifiers using Correcting
Dangling Modifiers.?

• Homework Correcting Dangling Modifiers

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New Words

• Spelling Words
• consciousness
• endeavor

• Vocabulary Words
• audacious (adj.)
• Audac in Latin means daring
• The prefix ous means full of
• Nowhere in the world would such an audacious
   proposal ever have seen the light of the day.
• extremely bold or daring recklessly brave
  fearless
• audit (v.)
• an official examination and verification of
  accounts and records, especially of financial
  accounts.
• They'll even send a team of experts in to do an
  operational audit  to assess a store's efficiency.

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Revise the following flat descriptive
sentenceI saw a beautiful sunrise.Rewrite it
as a detailed rich descriptive paragraph of 5-6
sentences.

• Motivational Activity

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• Motivational Activity

Revise the flat descriptive sentence I saw a
beautiful sunrise.
And now, a rich descriptive paragraph Early
this morning, as I walked along the sandy beach,
I saw the sun rise slowly out of the ocean. At
first, the ocean looked red. Then, it turned
slowly to pink, to aqua, and finally to blue. As
I stood watching the sun, I heard the waves hit
the shore, and I felt the cold water swirl around
my toes. For a moment, even the small grey and
white birds that ran along the shore seemed to
stop and watch the dazzling sight.

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The Adjective
A word or phrase the modifies/describes a person,
place, or thing, by telling what kind, which one,
how many, or which one.
In the sentence, This bowl of hot soup is
delicious., how many adjectives are used? In
the sentence, Jorge drew a picture of a duck
and a chicken., how many adjectives are used?

What kind? Which one? How many? How much?
Brown shoes Those cars Ten boxes Some water
English tea First step Several books Less time
Up-to-date look Last one Many students Enough money
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Descriptive Adjectives
Well-chosen adjectives can make writing more
colorful and descriptive.
For each of the following sentences, replace the
underlined adjective with vivid, descriptive
ones.

1. The terrible storm caught the town by surprise.
2. That group makes great music.
3. His nice smile makes everyone feel better.
4. They have a cute kitchen.
5. I wouldnt mind having an old car.

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Descriptive Adjectives
Well-chosen adjectives can make writing more
colorful and descriptive.
For each of the following sentences, replace the
underlined adjective with vivid, descriptive
ones.

1. The catastrophic storm caught the town by
   surprise.
2. That group makes foot-tapping music.
3. His sincere smile makes everyone feel better.
4. They have a charming country kitchen.
5. I wouldnt mind having an antique car.

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The Adverb
A word or phrase that modifies/describes a verb,
and adjective, or another adverb. An adverb
tells how, when, where, or to what extent.
Adverbs Modifying Verbs Marian Anderson
performed (magnificently earlier there widely.)
Adverbs Modifying Adjectives The players are
exceptionally skillful.

Adverbs Modifying Other Adverbs Andre reacted to
the news rather calmly.
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Descriptive Adverbs
A word or phrase that modifies/describes a verb,
and adjective, or another adverb. An adverb
tells how, when, where, or to what extent.
Descriptive writing avoids overused adverbs such
as very, really, and so.

1. The lions were very hungry after their
   unsuccessful hunt.
2. In the land of the Lilliputians, Gulliver appears
   really tall.
3. So many people were waiting in line for tickets.

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Descriptive Adverbs
A word or phrase that modifies/describes a verb,
and adjective, or another adverb. An adverb
tells how, when, where, or to what extent.
Descriptive writing avoids overused adverbs such
as very, really, and so.

1. The lions were ravenous after their unsuccessful
   hunt.
2. In the land of the Lilliputians, Gulliver appears
   gigantic.
3. Hundreds of people were waiting in line for
   tickets.

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Misplaced and Dangling Modifiers
Modifiers should be placed as close as possible
to the word it is supposed to describe.
Misplaced Modifier After selecting a college, my
mother took me on a trip to visit the
campus. After my mother selected a college for me
to attend, she took me on a trip to visit the
campus. After I selected a college to attend, my
mother took me on a trip to visit the campus.

Dangling Modifier After selecting a college, a
trip to the campus was planned. After we selected
a college, my mother and I planned a trip to the
campus.
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Misplaced and Dangling Modifiers
Modifiers should be placed as close as possible
to the word it is supposed to describe.
Misplaced Modifier After shopping all night
long, my mother gave me a Christmas
present. After my mother shopped all night long,
she gave me a Christmas gift. After I shopped all
night long, my mother gave me a Christmas gift.
Dangling Modifier After shopping all night long,
the presents were wrapped and placed under the
Christmas tree. After we shopped all night long,
my mother and I wrapped the presents and placed
them under the Christmas tree.

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The Descriptive Verb
A word that expresses an action or a state of
being.
Descriptive writing usually contains fewer
linking verbs.

• Flat Descriptions
• The rose smelled sweet.
• The clouds became black.
• The white dove soaring toward the clouds looked
  angelic.

• Rich Descriptions
• The heady scent of the blooming rose penetrated
  my senses.
• The looming clouds thundered an ominous warning.
• The angel dove soared toward the luminous clouds.

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Writing a Descriptive Paragraph
There are two kinds of descriptive paragraphs
objective and descriptive. Most descriptive
paragraphs mix objective description with
subjective descriptions.
The Lincoln Memorial was built to celebrate
American democracy. In front of the monument is
a long marble staircase that leads from a
reflecting pool to the memorials entrance.
Thirty-six columns surround the building. Inside
the house are three rooms. The first room
contains the nineteen-foot statue of Lincoln.
Seated in a chair, Lincoln looks exhausted after
the long Civil War. One of Lincolns hands is a
fist, showing his strength, and the other is
open, showing his kindness. On either side of
the first room are the other two rooms. Carved
on the wall of the second room is the Gettysburg
Address. On the wall of the third room is the
Second Inaugural Address. Above the Gettysburg
Address is a mural showing an angel freeing the
slaves. Above the Second Inaugural Address is
another mural, which shows the people of the
North and the South coming back together. As its
design shows, the Lincoln Memorial was built to
celebrate both the sixteenth president and the
nations struggle for democracy.

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Writing a Descriptive Paragraph
There are two kinds of descriptive paragraphs
objective and descriptive. Most descriptive
paragraphs mix objective description with
subjective descriptions.
My uncle Manuel is a strong but gentle person who
took care of my mother and me when my father
died. Manuel, or Manny, as his friends and
family call him, is over six feet tall. This is
unusual for a Mexican of his generation. The
first thing that most people notice about my
uncle Manny is his eyes. They are large and dark
brown, almost black. They make him look very
serious. When he laughs, however, the sides of
his eyes crinkle up and he looks warm and
friendly. Another thing that stands out is his
nose, which is long and straight. My mother says
it makes uncle Manny look strong and
distinguished. The most interesting thing about
uncle Manny is his hands. Even though he hasnt
worked as a stonemason since he opened his own
construction company ten years ago, his hands are
still rough and scared from carrying stones. No
matter how much he tries, he cant get rid of the
dirt under the skin of his fingers. Uncle
Mannys hands are big and rough, but theyre also
gentle and comforting. To me, they show what he
really is a strong and gentle man.

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Descriptive Writing Matters
Anyone who has ever answered a classified ad for
a "charming" apartment--only to schedule a tour
and discover chartreuse shag carpets and leaky
plumbing--knows why descriptive writing matters.
Likewise, victims of online dating disasters
understand all too well the gap between vague,
flattering profiles and vivid, not-so-flattering
reality. Whether you want to email a friend about
the cute new barista at the corner coffee shop or
write the Great American Novel, you need to know
the basics of descriptive writing.

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Descriptive Writing Matters
Descriptive writing engages the senses--sight,
touch, taste, sound and smell. It makes it
possible for your readers to experience places,
people and things they have never before
encountered. For example, even if they have never
tasted Thai sweet chili sauce, a good restaurant
review can tickle their taste buds. Descriptions
also allow readers to step into your shoes and
see the world through your eyes--or through the
eyes of characters you create. This sparks
emotions, generates empathy and keeps readers
invested in your story or ideas. It also conveys
authenticity. Say you write a travel article
about a winter holiday in Portland, Oregon, but
never once describe the famous bridges spanning
the Willamette River. Readers who have visited or
lived there might wonder if you know your
stuff--especially since Portland goes by the
nickname "Bridge City.

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Descriptive Writing Matters
Misconceptions Many people associate
descriptive writing with fiction and poetry, but
descriptive writing can pop up anywhere. When
police file a report, they describe suspects and
scenes. Doctors describe patients' symptoms in
medical charts. Teens gossip about peers'
outfits. You even use descriptive writing in
cover letters to prospective employers.??
By Karen Murdock

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Writing a Descriptive Paragraph
Working in a group of three, generate ideas to
convey three dominate impressions of Brooklyn
Technical High School. Each person in the group
must take one the impressions and write a
descriptive paragraph. No two members should
take the same impression. For example, a group
might describe the size of the school, the
workload, and the student life.