QUESTIONS for our Tool Kits

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QUESTIONS for our Tool Kits

• Dr. Becca C. Johnson

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WHY ask Questions?

• Facilitate the relationship let them see that
  you genuinely care for/about him/her
• Facilitate personal growth encourage him/her to
  share, to develop their thinking, values,
  opinions, likes/dislikes helping to increase
  self-esteem
• Facilitate healing by your unconditional love
  and acceptance, encouragement, care,

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Self Esteem increases because

• We feel heard and understood
• We feel validated /OR gently challenged
• Someone cares about ME
• Talking about things often helps us figure out
  what we think and feel

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WHEN and WHERE?

• Deuteronomy 65-9
• During activities
• Between activities
• Rest hour in cabins
• Bedtime
• ANY TIME!

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Asks Questions about

• School
• Activities
• Animals
• Favorites
• Self
• Home

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Responding to the Answers

• Naturally
• Reflecting the emotions/feeling
• Ask follow-up questions such as
• What were you THINKING when that happened?
• How did that make you FEEL?
• I might have felt _____ or _____. What did you
  feel?

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Asking Questions

• Try not to ask questions that can be answered
  with a yes, no, fine or okay
• Try to ask questions naturally OR as a game
• Questions can be put in a hat/bowl and chosen
• A Question Game could be developed to encourage
  thoughtful responses and facilitate sharing.

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How People Feel How We Respond
1 Happy, comfortable, glad 2. Awkward,
uncomfortable 3. Angry, uncomfortable, violated

1. Oblivious
2. Plow ahead
3. Ask with awareness
4. Stop asking

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BeccasQuestion Game Trauma Counseling
model
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Depth of Questions
Thoughts/Opinions - - - gt - - -
-gtFeelings/Emotions Relationship Level New
- - - - - - gt - - - - - - gt - - - - - - gt Close
(Intimate) Personal Impersonal - - - - - gt -
- - - - - gt - - - - - - gt Personal Emotional
Level Not emotionally vulnerable - - - - -gt
Emotionally vulnerable Intensity Fun - - - -
- - - gt - - - - - - - gt - - - - - - - gt Serious
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IF you could AND why?
FLY, where would you fly? TALK to the
President, what would you say? HELP
someone/the world, who would you help/what would
you do? had a million, what would you
do? could travel anywhere, where?
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If you were what would you be AND why?
an ANIMAL? a FLOWER, what type color?
FURNITURE? (chair, sofa, table, chest, rocker,
lamp, bed,drawers,) a BOAT, what type of
boat? (sail, motor, canoe, cruise,
tow,) ... MUSICAL INSTRUMENT?
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If _______, then how would you feel AND why?
math was you favorite subject? you were not
chosen for a team? your art won the school
contest? your team won because of you? you
get blamed its not your fault? your Mom
Dad say horrible things when theyre mad?
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WHEN youre here at camp AND why?
what do enjoy doing? what do you like about
camp? do you wish someone else could be here?
Who? is there anything you wish was different
about camp?
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WHEN you wake up in the morning, what do you
think about? look forward to each day? dread
doing each day? wish was different?
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WHEN you go to bed at night, what do you
do before getting in bed? think about? say to
God? wish could be different?
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Types of Question

1. Yes No
2. Choose (multiple choice)
3. Open-ended

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What would you rather do AND WHY?

• Swim in a pool, sit and read, ride your bicycle,
  or play a game?
• Eat ice cream, cake, cookies or pie for dessert?
• Go fishing early in the morning, sleep in, or
  sleep over at a friends house?
• Have a pet dog, cat, rabbit, pig or goat?
• Have a surprise present, a present you pick out,
  or one you already know about?
• Be a fire-, police-, or mail- man/women?

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What would you rather do AND WHY?

• Play the guitar, piano, drums, or violin?
• Dust, do the dishes, sweep, or take garbage out?
• Clean your room or eat something you dont like?
• Be President, famous athletic or movie star?
• Be smart, pretty, or strong/athletic?
• Be a teacher, a student, or a principal?
• Read, write, or listen to a story?

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What do you prefer (like best) AND WHY?

• Winter, Spring, Summer, or Fall?
• Christmas, Birthday, or Easter?
• Beach, mountains, dessert, city?
• Honesty, loyalty, or kindness?
• Drawing, singing, or dancing?
• Baseball, basketball, soccer, skating, or
  gymnastics?

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QUESTION GAME

• Develop a list of questions or TO DOs
• Write them down and cut to separate
• Tell the child that they will receive
• 1-2 points for every item they answer,
• 3 points if they answer with a lot of detail
• Tell the child they can pass if he/she feels
  uncomfortable
• Take turns and keep score

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QUESTION GAME

• Examples (in addition to all previous questions)
• Tell me four things you like to do.
• Describe your house to me.
• Share one of your big dreams or wishes.
• What do you like/dont like about school.
• What was your family like when you were younger?
  What is your family like now?
• If you had a secret, who would you tell?

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QUESTION GAME
Variations TIME To encourage details and more
sharing 1 point 1-10 seconds 2 points
11-20 seconds 3 points 21-30 seconds 4
points 31 seconds Ex Do you or anyone you
know wear glasses? I do or my friend or My
Mom Dad all 1 point I do. I first started
wearing them in 2nd grade when I It was hard to
adjust at the beginning b/c more points
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More Questions (general)

• Do you like to sing? What music do you like?
• Do you like sports? What sports do you like?
• If you were a staff member here at camp, what
  would you want to do/be? (counselor, coach, music
  leader, lifeguard, director, drama team,) WHY?

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More Questions (spiritual)

• Do you go to church? Is it boring or fun and
  why?
• Do you believe that God really loves you? Do you
  sometimes find it hard to believe it? When?
• Do you believe in God? That He exists?
• The Bible says that God wants to show His love to
  you. What has God done for you that shows His
  love?
• This weeks theme is ____. What do YOU think
  about it?

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More Questions (emotional)

• What makes you happy? What makes you sad?
• Do you have a quiet place you can go when you
  want to be alone?
• Are you afraid of the dark? Earthquakes?
  Teachers? God? Something/someone else?
• Are you good at keeping secrets? Have you ever
  had a secret that you know you SHOULD tell a
  bad secret? Did you ever tell anyone? (Would
  you like to tell it to me, now?)

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Story I wish someone had asked me
About it. About me. About my family. About how
I was feeling. About what I thought about what
happened. Instead, it wasnt talked about so I
felt worse like it was so horrible no one
could talk about it. I think thats why I
developed a lot of wrong thinking about so many
things.
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Table Discussion
How might you incorporate this information into
your staff training?
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QUESTIONS for our Tool Kits

• Dr. Becca C. Johnson

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RESOURCES
Values Clarification by Simon, Howe
Kirschenbaum, Hart Publishing Co. 1978 Games,
Games, Games compiled by Mary Hohenstein, Bethany
House Publishers, 1980
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About Me

• Sharing OR Activity (with paper markers)
• Full name and birthday, age
• Describe yourself (color hair/eyes,)
• Describe yourself (characteristics likes)
• What do you like about yourself?
• Family members (list names ages)
• School name, grade favorite things
• Hobbies Activities/Friends/Pets