Attachment theory in adulthood

1
Attachment theory in adulthood

• Ian Mathews
• Senior Lecturer in Social work

2
Attachment theory

• Do you remember
• The basic premise all children are born with
  an innate need to feel loved wanted by their
  parents.
• If a child does not experience this it has a
  sense of emotional hurt that results in the child
  engaging in a range of behaviours designed to get
  the parent to love the child. Bowlby (1969)
• Million dollar question - does attachment
  influence relationships in adult life?
• What do you think?
• What did Bowlby think?

3
Seminar 1re-visitedChildhood Adulthood

• Leaving home
• Wanting more time to yourself, more time doing
  your own thing, increasing independence from
  your parents
• Spending less time with your parents increasing
  amounts of time with your friends
• Developing other significant relationships

• In other words, leaving home is
• more than setting up a separate residence. It
  involves a highly significant psychological
  emancipation process in which the young person
  distances themselves emotionally from their
  parents to at least some degree.
• Bee (1994334)

4
How is this represented in stage theory?

• Eriksons (1959) stage theory of early
  adulthood
• The struggle between Intimacy versus isolation.
• The challenge here is to experience intimacy yet
  retain a secure sense of your identity
• Success leads to the establishment of close
  relationships with others
• Failure leads to isolation of the development of
  superficial adult relationships

5
The changing nature of attachment in adolescence
early adulthood

• Proximity seeking in adolescents commonly want
  to spend more time with their friends whilst
  thinking of their parents as being a safe base (
  a specific attachment figures/s).
• Secure base over time this security transfers
  onto a partner or spouse
• Sense of self, sense of belonging increasingly
  supplied by work colleagues friendship groups
  rather than parents
• The return of the Million dollar question -
  does attachment influence relationships in adult
  life?

6
The influence of attachment on adult relationships

• Hazan and Shaver (1987) interviewed over 600
  adults of varying ages asked them to choose
  which of three descriptions best described their
  significant relationship
• They argued that the description chosen by the
  person reflected the adults experience of
  attachment in childhood
• ( is there a problem here

7
Hazan and Shaver research

• I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to
  others I find it difficult to trust them
  completely, difficult to allow myself to depend
  on them. I am nervous when anyone gets too
  close, and often others want me to be more
  intimate than I feel comfortable with.
  (avoidant chosen by ?)
• I find it relatively easy to get close to others
  and am comfortable depending on them and having
  them depend on me. I dont worry about being
  abandoned or about someone getting too close to
  me. (secure chosen by ?)
• I find that others are reluctant to get close as
  I would like. I often worry that my partner
  doesnt really love me or wont want to stay with
  me. I want to get very close to my partner and
  this sometimes scares people away.
  (anxious/avoidant chosen by ?)

8
And the consequences of these types of
relationship

• Research suggests that people end up in
  relationships with partners who confirm their
  existing beliefs about attachment relationships
  (Brennan Shaver 1995)
• Overall secure adults tend to be more satisfied
  in their relationships than insecure adults.
• Secure adults are more likely to seek support
  from their partners when distressed.
• They also provide more consistent support for
  their partners
• Insecure adults cited inability to trust as a
  cause of breakdown in their relationships

9
The experience of childhood attachment how
this transfers to parenting/adulthood

• What does research tell us
• A mothers attachment pattern measured during
  pregnancy predicted their own childs attachment
  pattern at 12 months in ? of cases ( Fonagy,
  1994)
• It would appear that both the experience of
  attachment in childhood the experience of
  attachment/key relationships affect the way
  parents parent

10
Does poor attachment in childhood lead to
psychological problems in adulthood?

• As adults, the preoccupying anger with
  childhood attachment figures who let you down
  continues as does the search for unconditional
  love for the perfect relationship.
• Schofield Beek (2006114-5)

11
The social/trauma model of mental health

• Anger can be internalised leading to
• Self harm the need to relieve stress anger
• Suicide the need to end the pain
• Eating disorders the need to be in control
• Substance misuse ( alcohol/drugs) the need to
  dull the pain
• Depression
• Anger can be externalised leading to
• Domestic violence
• Child abuse
• General violence
• Inability to control anger
• Sally Plumb

12
So what

• Children with a poor experience of attachment
  are likely to
• struggle with adult relationships
• replicate that poor experience with their own
  children
• experience psychological problems in adulthood
• But it is important to recognise that people can
  do change not to be deterministic

13
References

• Bee, H(1994) Lifespan development, New York,
  Harper Collins
• Bowlby, J (1969) Attachment Loss volume one
  Attachment, London, Hogarth Press
• Brennan, K.A Shaver, P. (1995). Dimensions of
  adult attachment, affect regulation, and romantic
  relationship functioning. Personality and Social
  Psychology Bulletin, 21, 267-284.
• Erikson, E (1959) Identity the life cycle, New
  York, International Universities Press
• Fonagy, P et al (1994) The theory practice of
  resilience, Journal of Child Psychology
  Psychiatry 35231-57
• Hazan, C Shaver, P. (1987) Romantic love
  conceptualised as an attachment process, Journal
  of Personality Social Psychology, vol 59 270-80
• Schofield, G Beek, M (2006) The Adoption
  handbook, London, BAAF