Scientific Writing, HRP 214

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• Weekly Quiz

2
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. She doesnt take compliments well.
• B. She doesnt take complements well.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. She doesnt take compliments well.
• B. She doesnt take complements well.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Hes not rational at that time of the day.
• B. Hes not rationale at that time of the day.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Hes not rational at that time of the day.
• B. Hes not rationale at that time of the day.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Her rationale was that the drugs would help
  alleviate the pain.
• B. Her rational was that the drugs would help
  alleviate the pain.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Her rationale was that the drugs would help
  alleviate the pain.
• B. Her rational was that the drugs would help
  alleviate the pain.

8
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. We worked on localizing proteins in the cell
  from their phylogenetic profiles.
• B. We worked on locating proteins in the cell
  from their phylogenetic profiles.

9
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. We worked on localizing proteins in the cell
  from their phylogenetic profiles.
• B. We worked on locating proteins in the cell
  from their phylogenetic profiles.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. That action violated her principles.
• B. That action violated her principals.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. That action violated her principles.
• B. That action violated her principals.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Cream and chocolate comprise chocolate sauce.
• B. Cream and chocolate compose chocolate sauce.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Cream and chocolate comprise chocolate sauce.
• B. Cream and chocolate compose chocolate sauce.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. The dessert was comprised of cream and
  chocolate.
• B. The dessert was composed of cream and
  chocolate.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. The dessert was comprised of cream and
  chocolate.
• B. The dessert was composed of cream and
  chocolate.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Chocolate sauce composes cream and chocolate.
• B. Chocolate sauce comprises cream and chocolate.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Chocolate sauce composes cream and chocolate.
• B. Chocolate sauce comprises cream and chocolate.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Cream and chocolate are comprised in chocolate
  sauce.
• B. Cream and chocolate are composed of
• chocolate sauce.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Cream and chocolate are comprised in chocolate
  sauce.
• B. Cream and chocolate are composed of
• chocolate sauce.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. She accepted the compliment without a word.
• B. She accepted the complement without a word.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. She accepted the compliment without a word.
• B. She accepted the complement without a word.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. The sequencing of the human genome has been
  compared to a schoolyard brawl.
• B. The sequencing of the human genome has been
  compared with a schoolyard brawl.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. The sequencing of the human genome has been
  compared to a schoolyard brawl.
• B. The sequencing of the human genome has been
  compared with a schoolyard brawl.
• .

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. You should take some ice cream its
  complimentary.
• B. You should take some ice cream its
  complementary.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. You should take some ice cream its
  complimentary.
• B. You should take some ice cream its
  complementary.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. The 20-pound weight loss helped his
  self-confidence.
• B. The 20 pound weight loss helped his
  self-confidence.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. The 20-pound weight loss helped his
  self-confidence.
• B. The 20 pound weight loss helped his
  self-confidence.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. He was very complimentary of your work.
• B. He was very complementary of your work.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. He was very complimentary of your work.
• B. He was very complementary of your work.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Red and green are complementary colors.
• B. Red and green are complimentary colors.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Red and green are complementary colors.
• B. Red and green are complimentary colors.
• --Complementary colors are located
• directly across from each other
• on the color wheel.
• --Complementary pairs contrast
• because they share no common
• colors.
• (For example, red and green are
• complements, because green is
• made of blue and yellow.)

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Each person is responsible for their grade.
• B. Each person is responsible for his grade.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Each person is responsible for their grade.
• B. Each person is responsible for his grade.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• Meanings may differ based on S-V agreement re
  number
• ORIGINAL
• Public trust in the peer review process and the
  credibility of published articles depend in part
  on how well conflict of interest is handled
  during writing, peer review, and editorial
  decision making.
• OR?
• Public trust in the peer review process and the
  credibility of published articles depends in part
  on how well conflict of interest is handled
  during writing, peer review, and editorial
  decision making.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• ORIGINAL A B ? verb plural
• (Public trust in the peer review process) and
  (the credibility of published articles) depend in
  part on how well conflict of interest is handled
  during writing, peer review, and editorial
  decision making.
• OR? Subject (clause item A B) ? verb singular
• Public trust in (the peer review process and the
  credibility of published articles) depends in
  part on how well conflict of interest is handled
  during writing, peer review, and editorial
  decision making.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A serious problem in large-scale trials that
  require/requires the investment of tremendous
  resources, financial and otherwise, and
  take/takes years to complete are/is that
  their interpretation is often clouded by a
  problem in design or methodology that may not
  have been appreciated at an early stage of the
  study.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A serious problem in large-scale trials that
  require the investment of tremendous resources,
  financial and otherwise, and take years to
  complete is that their interpretation is often
  clouded by a problem in design or methodology
  that may not have been appreciated at an early
  stage of the study.
• PROBLEM is
• TRIALS require, take

38
Scientific Writing, HRP 214HOMEWORK ANSWERS

•  1. The recent identification of high
  concentrations of aged urban pollutant haze in
  the Arctic Basin suggests the possibility of
  climate modification through the interaction of
  the haze with solar radiation. The presence of
  the absorbing aerosol layer over a high-albedo
  surface will lead to an enhancement in the
  absorption of solar radiation by the atmosphere
  and surface surface system. This additional
  heating will manifest itself as an increase in
  the temperature of the atmosphere and an increase
  in the rate of ice melt in the spring.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214HOMEWORK ANSWERS

•  1. Investigators recently identified high
  concentrations of air pollution in the Arctic
  Basin. This layer of haze may trap solar energy
  in the Earths atmosphere, cause a rise in the
  Earths temperature, and accelerate the rate at
  which Arctic ice melts in the spring.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214HOMEWORK ANSWERS

• 2. There are a number of known causes of
  epilepsy. However, epilepsy with a definite
  antecedent neurologic insult that is presumed to
  be causal applies to only about one-third of all
  cases of epilepsy. The remaining two-thirds are
  idiopathic/cryptogenic.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214HOMEWORK ANSWERS

• Possible rewrite
• Epilepsy is caused by a known neurologic insult
  in about one-third of cases the remainder are
  idiopathic/cryptogenic.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214HOMEWORK ANSWERS

• 3. There are difficulties in applying the
  syndrome classification to population-based
  studies. First, the necessary information may
  not be available. Second, syndromes are, in
  part, classified by prognosis, and therefore not
  applicable to incidence cases. Third, a large
  proportion of population-based cases may not fit.
  A system incorporating the syndrome
  classification as reasonably as possible into
  population-based studies is needed.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214HOMEWORK ANSWERS

• Possible rewrite
• 3. The current syndrome classification system is
  inadequate in several respects the necessary
  information is not always available syndromes
  are, in part, classified by prognosis, and
  therefore not applicable to incident cases and a
  large proportion of population-based cases dont
  fit.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214HOMEWORK ANSWERS

• 4. The two results are found to be in agreement.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214HOMEWORK ANSWERS

• Possible rewrite
• 4. The two results agree.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214HOMEWORK ANSWERS

• 5. There is enormous variety of clinical
  presentation, as symptoms vary depending on the
  tumors location, size, and malignant versus
  benign behavior.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214HOMEWORK ANSWERS

• Possible rewrite
• 5. Clinical presentation varies widely depending
  on a tumors location and size, and whether it is
  malignant or benign.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214HOMEWORK ANSWERS

• 6. Biostatistics can be a lot of fun because of
  the multidisciplinary team approach. In one
  project we have a nutritionist, a psychologist,
  statisticians, a computer specialist, and
  dietitians a whole range of specialties. When we
  all get together, everyone has a perspective to
  bring to the problem.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214HOMEWORK ANSWERS

• Possible rewrite
• 6. Our enjoyable multidisciplinary approach to
  biostatistics brings together nutritionists,
  psychologists, statisticians, computer engineers,
  and dietitianseach of whom adds a different
  perspective to the problem.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214HOMEWORK ANSWERS

• 7. The high-dissonance participants were paid a
  small sum of money while being given a free
  choice of whether to participate, whereas the
  participants we randomly assigned to the
  large-incentive treatment (the low-dissonance
  condition) were not offered the opportunity to
  refuse.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214HOMEWORK ANSWERS

• Possible rewrite
• 7. High-dissonance participants were paid a
  small sum of money and were not required to
  participate low-dissonance participants were
  paid a large sum of money and were required to
  participate.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214HOMEWORK ANSWERS

• 8. The reasons for this exception are as follows
  1) although the assessment of birth cohort data
  often shares with other descriptive approaches a
  reliance on information that is usually
  available, it requires the application of an
  analytical approach with a level of complexity
  usually not found in descriptive epidemiology
  and 2) this type of analysis is often key for the
  understanding of the observed association between
  age (often strongly associated with the
  occurrence of many diseases as well as their
  determinants) and disease in cross-sectional
  analysis."

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214HOMEWORK ANSWERS

• Possible rewrite
• 8. Birth cohort analysis will be treated
  separately from other descriptive approaches
  because 1) analyzing birth cohort data requires
  more complex statistical methods and 2)
  confounding by birth cohort is a common problem
  in cross-sectional studies.

54
Scientific Writing, HRP 214WARM UP

• Anti-inflammatory agents may be protective for
  the occurrence of Alzheimers Disease and may
  reduce the progression of the disease.
• Identify the problems
• -- to be is a weak verb (may be protective)
• --you dont protect for, you protect against
  (word choice)
• --occurrence is a vague, weak noun
• --can you reduce progression? (word choice)
• --progression of disease? disease progression

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214WARM UP

• Anti-inflammatory agents may be protective for
  the occurrence of Alzheimers Disease and may
  reduce the progression of the disease.
• ?
• Anti-inflammatory agents may protect against
  Alzheimers Disease and retard disease
  progression.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214WARM UP

• Important studies to examine the descriptive
  epidemiology of autism, including the prevalence
  and changes in the characteristics of the
  population over time, have begun.
• Identify the problems
• --wheres the verb?
• --watch fluff words like important
• --can changes occur without being over time?
• -- changes in the characteristics of the
  population is vague and wordy

57
Scientific Writing, HRP 214WARM UP

• Important studies to examine the descriptive
  epidemiology of autism, including the prevalence
  and changes in the characteristics of the
  population over time, have begun.
• ?
• Studies have begun to describe the epidemiology
  of autism, including recent changes in the
  disorders prevalence and characteristics.

58
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• Lecture Five Writing Basics III
• Putting it all together and a few last points

59
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• REVIEW paragraphs and organization

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• Headache is an extraordinarily common pain
  symptom that virtually everyone experiences at
  one time or another. As a pain symptom,
  headaches have many causes. The full range of
  these causes were categorized by the
  International Headache Society (IHS) in 1988. The
  IHS distinguishes two broad groups of headache
  disorders primary headache disorders and
  secondary headache disorders. Secondary headache
  disorders are a consequence of an underlying
  condition, such as a brain tumor, a systemic
  infection or a head injury. In primary headache
  disorders, the headache disorder is the
  fundamental problem it is not symptomatic of
  another cause. The two most common types of
  primary headache disorders are episodic
  tension-type headache (ETTH) and migraine.
  Although IHS is the most broadly used/recognized
  classification system used, a brief comment on
  others would be appropriate especially if there
  are uses that have epidemiologic advantages.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214verb-tally
to be 8 to have 2 passive verbs 1 Others?
experiences, distinguishes

• Headache is an extraordinarily common pain
  symptom that virtually everyone experiences at
  one time or another. As a pain symptom,
  headaches have many causes. The full range of
  these causes were categorized by the
  International Headache Society (IHS) in 1988. The
  IHS distinguishes two broad groups of headache
  disorders primary headache disorders and
  secondary headache disorders. Secondary headache
  disorders are a consequence of an underlying
  condition, such as a brain tumor, a systemic
  infection or a head injury. In primary headache
  disorders, the headache disorder is the
  fundamental problem it is not symptomatic of
  another cause. The two most common types of
  primary headache disorders are episodic
  tension-type headache (ETTH) and migraine.
  Although IHS is the most broadly used/recognized
  classification system used, a brief comment on
  others would be appropriate especially if there
  are uses that have epidemiologic advantages.

62
Scientific Writing, HRP 214wordiness tally

• Headache is an extraordinarily common pain
  symptom that virtually everyone experiences at
  one time or another. As a pain symptom,
  headaches have many causes. The full range of
  these causes were categorized by the
  International Headache Society (IHS) in 1988. The
  IHS distinguishes two broad groups of headache
  disorders primary headache disorders and
  secondary headache disorders. Secondary headache
  disorders are a consequence of an underlying
  condition, such as a brain tumor, a systemic
  infection or a head injury. In primary headache
  disorders, the headache disorder is the
  fundamental problem it is not symptomatic of
  another cause. The two most common types of
  primary headache disorders are episodic
  tension-type headache (ETTH) and migraine.
  Although IHS is the most broadly used/recognized
  classification system used, a brief comment on
  others would be appropriate especially if there
  are uses that have epidemiologic advantages.

63
Scientific Writing, HRP 214avoid meta-comment

• Headache is an extraordinarily common pain
  symptom that virtually everyone experiences at
  one time or another. As a pain symptom,
  headaches have many causes. The full range of
  these causes were categorized by the
  International Headache Society (IHS) in 1988. The
  IHS distinguishes two broad groups of headache
  disorders primary headache disorders and
  secondary headache disorders. Secondary headache
  disorders are a consequence of an underlying
  condition, such as a brain tumor, a systemic
  infection or a head injury. In primary headache
  disorders, the headache disorder is the
  fundamental problem it is not symptomatic of
  another cause. The two most common types of
  primary headache disorders are episodic
  tension-type headache (ETTH) and migraine.
  Although IHS is the most broadly used/recognized
  classification system used, a brief comment on
  others would be appropriate especially if there
  are uses that have epidemiologic advantages.

64
Scientific Writing, HRP 214outline ideas

• Headache is an extraordinarily common pain
  symptom that virtually everyone experiences at
  one time or another. As a pain symptom,
  headaches have many causes. The full range of
  these causes were categorized by the
  International Headache Society (IHS) in 1988. The
  IHS distinguishes two broad groups of headache
  disorders primary headache disorders and
  secondary headache disorders. Secondary headache
  disorders are a consequence of an underlying
  condition, such as a brain tumor, a systemic
  infection or a head injury. In primary headache
  disorders, the headache disorder is the
  fundamental problem it is not symptomatic of
  another cause. The two most common types of
  primary headache disorders are episodic
  tension-type headache (ETTH) and migraine.
  Although IHS is the most broadly used/recognized
  classification system used, a brief comment on
  others would be appropriate especially if there
  are uses that have epidemiologic advantages.

65
Scientific Writing, HRP 214Idea flow chart
(outline)
66
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• Headache is an extraordinarily common pain
  symptom that virtually everyone experiences at
  one time or another. As a pain symptom,
  headaches have many causes. The full range of
  these causes were categorized by the
  International Headache Society (IHS) in 1988. The
  IHS distinguishes two broad groups of headache
  disorders primary headache disorders and
  secondary headache disorders.

Repetition can sometimes help transitions, but
here its just repetitive!
67
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• ?
• Headache is a pain symptom that almost everyone
  experiences. The International Headache Society
  (IHS) groups headaches into two types based on
  cause primary headache disorders and secondary
  headache disorders.

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• Secondary headache disorders are a consequence
  of an underlying condition, such as a brain
  tumor, a systemic infection or a head injury. In
  primary headache disorders, the headache disorder
  is the fundamental problem it is not symptomatic
  of another cause. The two most common types of
  primary headache disorders are episodic
  tension-type headache (ETTH) and migraine.

Also, consider ordering first (primary), then
second (secondary)
69
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• ?
• In primary headache disorders, the headache
  itself is the main complaint. The two most
  common types of primary headache disorder are
  episodic tension-type headache (ETTH) and
  migraine. Secondary headache disorders result
  from an underlying condition, such as a brain
  tumor, a systemic infection, or a head injury.

70
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• ?
• In primary headache disorders, the headache
  itself is the main complaint. The two most
  common types of primary headache disorder are
  episodic tension-type headache (ETTH) and
  migraine. Secondary headache disorders result
  from an underlying condition, such as a brain
  tumor, a systemic infection, or a head injury.

71
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• ?
• In primary headache disorders, the headache
  itself is the main complaint. The two most
  common types of primary headache disorder are
  episodic tension-type headache (ETTH) and
  migraine. Secondary headache disorders result
  from an underlying condition, such as a brain
  tumor, a systemic infection, or a head injury.

72
Scientific Writing, HRP 214together

• Headache is a pain symptom that almost everyone
  experiences. The International Headache Society
  (IHS) groups headaches into two types based on
  cause primary headache disorders and secondary
  headache disorders. In primary headache
  disorders, the headache itself is the main
  complaint. The two most common types of primary
  headache disorder are episodic tension-type
  headache (ETTH) and migraine. Secondary headache
  disorders result from an underlying condition,
  such as a brain tumor, a systemic infection, or a
  head injury.

73
Scientific Writing, HRP 214Compare to outline
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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A note paraphrasing and plagiarism

75
Scientific Writing, HRP 214a few notes on
paraphrasing

• Use your own words
• Work from memory
• Draw your own conclusions
• Do not simply re-arrange the original authors
  words
• Do not mimic the original authors sentence
  structure

76
Scientific Writing, HRP 214paraphrasing

• Original
• If the existence of a signing ape was
  unsettling for linguists, it was also startling
  news for animal behaviorists.

• Unacceptable
• An ape who knew sign language unsettled
  linguists and startled animal behaviorists.
• Unacceptable
• If the presence of a sign-language-using chimp
  was disturbing for scientists studying language,
  it was also surprising to scientists studying
  animal behavior.
• Fine
• When they learned of an ape's ability to use
  sign language, both linguists and animal
  behaviorists were taken by surprise.

77
Plagiarism example

• Original passage (Klibanski et al. 1995)
• One possibility is that the dose of estrogen
  effective in treating postmenopausal women is
  inadequate in a younger population. Second,
  whether continued improvement in bone mass can be
  seen in patients treated for a duration of time
  longer than the current study is unknown. A third
  possibility is that patients were not compliant
  with hormone therapy.A fourth and likely
  explanation is that estrogen therapy alone cannot
  correct the multiple factors contributing to bone
  loss in women with anorexia nervosa. In addition
  to profound estrogen deficiency, nutritional and
  other hormonal variables have been implicated in
  the pathogenesis of bone loss. These factors,
  including IGF-1 deficiency cortisol excess and
  decreased androgen production are unaffected by
  estrogen administration and may have a continuing
  deleterious effect on bone mass.

78
Plagiarism example

• Plagiarized passage (Munoz et al. 2002)
• One possibility is that the dose of estrogen
  estrogen dose which is effective in treating
  postmenopausal women is inadequate in a younger
  population. Second, whether continued improvement
  in bone mass can may be seen in patients treated
  for a duration of time longer longer period of
  time than the current study is unknown. A third
  possibility is that patients were not compliant
  with hormone therapy.A fourth third and more
  likely explanation is that estrogen therapy alone
  cannot correct the multiple factors contributing
  to bone loss in women with anorexia nervosa AN.
  In addition to profound estrogen deficiency
  hypoestrogenism, nutritional and other hormonal
  variables have been implicated in the
  pathogenesis of bone loss. These factors,
  including IGF-1 deficiency cortisol excess and
  decreased androgen production are unaffected by
  estrogen administration and may have a continuing
  deleterious effect on bone mass.

79
Plagiarism example, same paper

• Original passage (Klibanski et al. 1995)
• Our data demonstrate that, despite its
  usefulness in perimenopausal women, estrogen and
  progestin administration does not reverse the
  profound osteopenia seen in all young women with
  anorexia nervosa. Trabecular bone loss is severe
  and may progress despite estrogen therapy.
• Plagiarized passage (Munoz et al. 2002)
• In conclusion, our data demonstrate that,
  despite its usefulness in perimenopausal women,
  estrogen and gestagen administration does not
  reverse the profound osteopenia seen in all young
  women with AN. Trabecular bone loss is severe and
  may progress despite estrogen therapy.

80
Plagiarism example, same paper

• Original passage (Klibanski et al. 1995)
• There are no prospective studies of trabecular
  BD in adult women with anorexia nervosa, and it
  is unknown whether there is a progressive and
  permanent decline in bone mass. Although the role
  of estrogen replacement therapy in preventing
  bone loss in premenopausal women is clearly
  established, no studies have addressed whether is
  is beneficial in young women with premenopausal
  osteopenia.
• Plagiarized passage (Munoz et al. 2002)
• There are some published data on trabecular
  bone mineral density (BMD) in adult women with
  AN. but it is still unknown whether there is a
  progressive or permanent decline in bone mass.
  Although the role of estrogen replacement therapy
  in preventing bone loss in menopausal women has
  been clearly established, no studies have been
  carried out to determine whether it is beneficial
  in young women with premenopausal osteopenia

81
Plagiarism
From page 7 of McCaffertys first novel Bridget
is my age and lives across the street. For the
first twelve years of my life, these
qualifications were all I needed in a best
friend. But that was before Bridgets braces came
off and her boyfriend Burke got on, before Hope
and I met in our seventh-grade honors classes.
From page 14 of Viswanathans novel Priscilla
was my age and lived two blocks away. For the
first fifteen years of my life, those were the
only qualifications I needed in a best friend. We
had first bonded over our mutual fascination with
the abacus in a playgroup for gifted kids. But
that was before freshman year, when Priscillas
glasses came off, and the first in a long string
of boyfriends got on.
82
Plagiarism
From page 213 of McCaffertys first novel
Marcus then leaned across me to open the
passenger-side door. He was invading my personal
space, as I had learned in Psych class, and I
instinctively sank back into the seat. That just
made him move in closer. I was practically one
with the leather at this point, and unless I
hopped into the backseat, there was nowhere else
for me to go. From page 175 of Viswanathans
novel Sean stood up and stepped toward me,
ostensibly to show me the book. He was definitely
invading my personal space, as I had learned in a
Human Evolution class last summer, and I
instinctively backed up till my legs hit the
chair I had been sitting in. That just made him
move in closer, until the grommets in the leather
embossed the backs of my knees, and he finally
tilted the book toward me.
83
Scientific Writing, HRP 214REVISING

• The revision process

84
Another example

• Original paper (2004) Although earlier
  registry-based analyses of second neoplasms after
  breast cancer (BC) did not detect an increased
  risk of cutaneous melanoma (CM),12 several
  more recent registry-based34 and
  hospital-based5 studies have documented a
  statistically significant increased risk of CM
  after BC with standardized incidence ratios
  (SIRs) ranging from 1.4 to 2.7.
• Second paper (2009) Recent registry-based 1,2
  and hospital-based 3,4 studies have documented
  a statistically significant increased risk of CM
  after BC with standardized incidence ratios
  (SIRs) ranging from 1.4 to 2.7.
• (references are the same)

85
Scientific Writing, HRP 214REVISING

• Dont be afraid to cut.
• Experiment with re-arranging your words and
  paragraphs (try alternative permutations). (zoom
  in)
• Give your work an organizational review. (zoom
  out)
• Read your work out loud.
• Work with a good editor.

86
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• Organizational check-list
• Are the what, so what, and why explained in
  your opening paragraphs?
• Are the introductory and historical materials
  arranged to support the new developments?
• Are details arranged in descending order of
  importance?
• e.g. summarize the main point prior to listing
  the specific examplesespecially important when
  many background studies exist

87
Scientific Writing, HRP 214
When revising, think of the inverted pyramid
88
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• Checklist for a polished story
• Do any scientific terms need defining or
  clarification?
• Is the language as straightforward and energetic
  as you can make it?
• Are there dead weight words or phrases?
• Have you used the passive voice unnecessarily?
• Is sentence structure needlessly complex?
• Is tense consistent throughout?
• Does every paragraph have a purpose?
• Is the overall organization as logical as you can
  make it?
• Are there any inconsistencies?
• Does it read like a story? Or are you bored to
  tears reading it?

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• Developing your voice as a writer
• Recall the things you can do to become a better
  writer
• Read, pay attention, and imitate.
• Let go of academic writing habits
  (deprogramming step!)
• Talk about your research before trying to write
  about it.
• Develop a thesaurus habit. Search for the right
  word rather than settling for any old word.
• Respect your audiencetry not to bore them!
• Stop waiting for inspiration.
• Accept that writing is hard for everyone.
• Revise. Nobody gets it perfect on the first try.
• Learn how to cut ruthlessly. Never become too
  attached to your words.
• Find a good editor!

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• Developing your voice as a writer
• take risks
• read your work out loud
• read your work to a friend
• work with a good editor
• write in a journal
• use the thesaurus
• read a variety of sources and voices
• write as if you are telling a story to a friend

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A final note on writing
• Save often and back up your files!

92
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• And finally
• This weeks Top 5 countdown
• Grammar rules to follow

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• Use a comma before every (even the last) and or
  or in a series of three or more items.
• RIGHT the cats, the dogs, and the fish
• WRONG the cats, the dogs and the fish

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• In a list, use commas to separate three or more
  items that do not have internal commas use
  semicolons to separate three or more elements
  that do have internal commas.
• He said this about your cat shes loud, like a
  dog shes fast, like a cheetah and shes aloof,
  like a woman.
• He said this about your cat shes loud, fast,
  and aloof.

95
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• Use a hyphen in all self compounds or in
  compounds in which the base word is capitalized,
  a number, or an abbreviation
• self-employed
• self-starter
• pro-Clinton
• pre-1990
• pre-AIDS

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• Do not use hyphens in compounds using an adverb
  ending in ly or in compounds using a
  comparative or superlative adjective
• widely believed fallacy
• previously reported study
• better informed man
• best dressed man

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Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• More examples, hyphenation
• The man is well known.
• ButHe is a well-known man.
• But again He is an exceptionally well known
  man.
• The man stood 10 feet tall.
• ButHe is a 10-foot tall man.
• The project seemed ill fated.
• ButIt was an ill-fated project.
• The scientists proceeded step by step.
• ButThey followed step-by-step instructions.

98
Scientific Writing, HRP 214Grammar rules to
follow

• Write out integers from 1 to 9 (inclusive) unless
  they represent precise measurements or are being
  compared with numbers greater than 10. Write out
  numbers ?10 if they begin a sentence.
• She ate five ducks for dinner.
• The duck weighed 5.2 pounds.
• The ducks beak measured 3 inches.
• The duck weighed 5 pounds but the dog weighed 50.
• Fifty-five ducks were in the pond.

99
Scientific Writing, HRP 214Homework

• Read
• Read chapters 13-16 of Sin and Syntax (pp.
  197-finish)
• Read Chapter 5 of Successful Scientific Writing
• Letter to the Editor assignment
• Draft a Letter to the Editor regarding an article
  in your discipline. Follow journal guidelines for
  the Letter.

100
Scientific Writing, HRP 214Preview to next time

• Now we begin with scientific writing

101
Scientific Writing, HRP 214Style guidelines

• Write with a specific journal in mind and follow
  their on-line style guidelines

102
Scientific Writing, HRP 214Verb tense for
scientific papers

• Use the active voice.
• Possible exceptions within Methods and when
  the subject is unknown.
• Use the past tense for an action or a condition
  that occurred at a specific, definite time in the
  past
• e.g., Smith et al. showed the same results.
• Use the present tense when discussing opinions or
  positions by authors cited in your literature
  review (e.g., Smith asserts).
• except if the source has been dead for a long
  time (e.g., Mendel believed).