Don

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Dont Waste your Minds TimeHealthy Thinking
vs. Stinking Thinking
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Maladaptive Thought number 1
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I need to be liked by everyoneReally?

• Frederick Douglass I prefer to be true to
  myself, even at the hazard of incurring the
  ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and
  to incur my own abhorrence.
• George Eliot It is good to be helpful and
  kindly, but don't give yourself to be melted into
  candle grease for the benefit of the tallow
  trade.
• William J. H. Boetcker That you may retain your
  self-respect, it is better to displease the
  people by doing what you know is right, than to
  temporarily please them by doing what you know is
  wrong.

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Its ok that some people dont like youIt really
is

• Being liked or loved is important, but it is okay
  to go through periods where you feel you have
  neither. These times when you feel you are not
  liked or loved should be used to further develop
  your own identity.

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Maladaptive Thought number 2
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I should not make mistakesReally?

• Only mediocrity can be trusted to be always at
  its best. Max Beerbohm
• Striving for excellence motivates you striving
  for perfection is demoralizing.  Harriet Braiker
• Once you accept the fact that you're not perfect,
  then you develop some confidence.  Rosalynn
  Carter

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Pefectionism leads to anxiety disordersStop
beating yourself up

• We will never do better than our best effort and
  mistakes are natural. Also, it is very important
  to accept yourself for who you are and separate
  this identity from the results of your
  performances.

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Maladaptive thought number 3.
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Other people should behave the way I want them
toReally?

• We can never judge the lives of others, because
  each person knows only their own pain and
  renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are
  on the right path, but it's another to think that
  yours is the only path. Paul Coelho

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Peoples is peoplesyou really dont have all the
answers

• Other people are always going to do things you do
  not agree with. Humans are just not perfect yet,
  including you, and upsetting yourself about
  someone else will not make that fact change.
  Practice acceptance of that which you cannot
  control. Practice influence over that which you
  can.

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Maladaptive Thought number 4
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My life should go exactly as I plan it and have
no setbacksReally?

• Bad times have a scientific value. These are
  occasions a good learner would not miss. Ralph
  Waldo Emerson
• Stubborn and ardent clinging to ones opinion is
  the best proof of stupidity.
• Michel de Montaigne.

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Roll with the punchesmake lemonade with those
lemons

• No life ever goes perfectly. The secret is how
  quickly one can adapt to the changes life
  presents.

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Maladaptive Thought number 5
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I have no control over how I feel and I am a
victim of negative life eventsReally?

• Pushing through fear is less frightening than
  living with the underlying circumstances that
  come from a feeling of helplessness. Susan
  Jeffers   
• Never be bullied into silence. Never allow
  yourself to be make a victim. Accept no ones
  definition of your life, but define yourself. 
  Harvey S. Firestone 

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Dont ever, ever, ever give uppersistence works

• Actually life events dont cause feelings, our
  thoughts about those life events do. Control how
  you think about life events and you will control
  your feelings. Do yourself a favor and be an
  optimist! The world needs positive energy to
  move in the right direction. Cynicism is what
  passes for insight amongst the mediocre.Joe
  Klein

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Maladaptive Thought number 6
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If I dont spend time worrying about things bad
stuff will start happening to meReally?

• Nothing in the affair of men is worthy of great
  anxiety.
• Plato
• We live in the midst of alarms anxiety beclouds
  the future we expect some new disaster with each
  newspaper we read. Abraham Lincoln

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Worry when the bad thing happens, not beforeyou
can bet on yourself to get by.

• Worrying about things will not stop life from
  happening. It will make life disturbing right
  now. Remember that speculating about a future
  negative occurrence is much more anxiety
  provoking than the anxiety that comes from going
  through the actual event that you fear.

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Maladaptive Thought number 7
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Happiness is achieved by not taking life
seriouslyReally?

• Delay is the deadliest form of denial.
• C. Northcote Parkinson
• Every time we choose safety, we reinforce fear.
  Cheri Huber

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You cant run from it foreverface the fear

• Avoiding makes life easier in the short term, but
  avoiding becomes a full time job after awhile and
  actually becomes much more time-consuming than
  dealing with life issues as they arise.

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Maladaptive Thought number 8
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I have to rely on someone stronger than myself
Im not strong enough to do life aloneReally?

•     Our dependency makes slaves out of us,
  especially if this dependency is a dependency of
  our self-esteem. If you need encouragement,
  praise, pats on the back from everybody, then you
  make everybody your judge.  unknown

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Trust yourself and then you will pick the right
people to trustgive yourself some credit

• It is okay to seek help as long as you have
  learned to trust yourself as well. Being
  psychologically dependent on others to make
  decisions for you leaves you vulnerable to
  exploitation.

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Maladaptive Thought number 9
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My life stinks because of what has happened to me
in the past and I cant do a thing about it.

• You have nobody to blame but yourself if you
  stumble more than one over the same stump.
  Proverb quotes   

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Learn from your past dont perpetuate it.

• It is not the past that makes your life stink.
  It is your current beliefs about the past that
  make you feel hopeless. We can always choose to
  analyze our past, learn from it, and make today
  work better for us. (Counseling helps with this!)

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Maladaptive Though number 10
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I should not feel discomfort or pain. I should
not have to go through hard timesReally?

• Albert Camus In the depth of winter, I finally
  learned that there was within me an invincible
  summer.
• Helen Keller Character cannot be developed in
  ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial
  and suffering can the soul be strengthened,
  vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success
  achieved.

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When you survive through a time of suffering- you
have learned Awesomeness skillswhere did you
think it came from?

• People who avoid suffering or pain through
  various addictive or avoidant behaviors stop
  their own emotional development. We learn new
  strategies for life by suffering through bad
  times. Parents who protect their children from
  suffering through the pains of life produce
  adults who have the emotional intelligence of
  children.