WELCOME PARENTS, FAMILIES AND FRIENDS

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WELCOME PARENTS, FAMILIES AND FRIENDS

• Presentation by
• William A. Erb
• Director
• Student Health Services

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Transition To and Through University

• Beginning at a University is a time of transition
• Transition to a university setting can be viewed
  as a process in which physical, spiritual,
  mental, emotional, social and career/occupational
  changes occur
• There are two types of change that face young
  adults Rights of Passage and Campus Passages

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Rights of Passage

• 1. Leaving Home
• 2. Establishing Autonomy and Self-sufficiency
• 3. Achieving Emotional Independence
• 4. Handling Personal Freedom
• 5. Developing An Independent Value System
• 6. Developing Relationship Skills
• 7. Establishing a Personal Identity
• 8. Preparing to Enter the Work World

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Campus Passages

• 1. Separating From Home
• 2. Competing In a New Environment
• 3. Managing Academic Demands
• 4. Adjusting To Free Time
• 5. Developing Healthy Social Relationships
• 6. Selecting A Major Field Of Study
• 7. Choosing A Healthy Lifestyle

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The fine art of Letting Go

• Parenting 101

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REMEMBER THIS IS A TRANSITION FOR BOTH YOU AND
YOUR CHILD
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A Time of Change

• Just as students move through different stages in
  the course of their new lives at a university, so
  too do families change and develop in the process
• It is a natural and irreversible process.
• Change can be both exciting and stressful at the
  same time.

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Adjusting to Changes

• Things to realize
• Youre on a new path, too
• Your child needs different things from you now
• The key is keeping communication going

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What Families Might Experience

• Profound Sense of Loss
• Extraordinary Sense of Pride
• Redefined Roles
• Fear of Failure
• Joy
• Trepidation and Worry
• Resentment
• Confusion
• Surprise

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Conversations You Have to Have

• Preventing sexual assault
• Intimacy and self-respect
• Drinking and drugs
• Your expectations academic otherwise
• Facebook and MySpace
• Money
• Express Unconditional love

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MAINTAIN A SUPPORTIVE RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR CHILD

• Let your child make mistakes and stay calm
• Listen when the complaints come
• Instead of trying to fix it convey confidence in
  their ability

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MAINTAIN REGULAR CONTACT WITH YOUR CHILD BUT ALSO
ALLOW SPACE FOR YOUR CHILD TO APPROACH YOU
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AVOID INQUISITOR MODE QUESTIONS
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BE REALISTIC AND SPECIFIC WITH YOUR CHILD ABOUT
FINANCIAL ISSUES
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BE REALISTIC ABOUT YOUR CHILDS ACADEMIC
PERFORMANCE
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REFRAIN FROM BURDENING YOUR CHILD WITH PROBLEMS
FROM HOME OVER WHICH THEY HAVE NO CONTROL
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ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILD TO USE THE RESOURCES OF THE
UNIVERSITY TO SOLVE HIS/HER PROBLEMS
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TRY TO AVOID MAKING MAJOR CHANGES IN THE HOME
ENVIRONMENT DURING THE FIRST YEAR
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ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILD TO GET INVOLVED
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TRUST YOUR CHILD

• MAKING MISTAKES ISPART OF THE PROCESS

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DO YOUR BEST TO DEVELOP AND MAINTAIN YOUR OWN
SOCIAL SUPPORT
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Keep On Laughing!

• A sense of humor is essential
• Keep problems in perspective
• Use humor to defuse conflict and tension
• Laugh with, not at

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Remember

• These are good problems!
• Seek support for yourself
• Give just enough to your child
• Keep laughing!

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TOP TEN WAYS TO SUPPORT YOUR STUDENT
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• Dont let it worry you that the same person
  planning his or her life cant seem to do their
  laundry

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• PRAISE ACCOMPLISHMENTS OFTEN

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• ENCOURAGE SELF-RELIANCE
• CONSIDER CAREFULLY BEFORE DOING THINGS FOR
  STUDENTS THAT THEY CAN DO FOR THEMSLEVES

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• GIVE ATTENTION
• AND SUPPORT
• NOT
• UNSOLICITED ADVICE

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• ACCEPT THE CHOICE OF A MAJOR
• IT RARELY DETERMINES A CAREER

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• PROVIDE A SENSE OF CONFIDENCE IN THEIR POTENTIAL
  THAT DOESNT CRUMBLE
• WHEN THEY DO

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• TAKE COMFORT IN KNOWING THAT EXPLORATION AND
  FORMATION OF IDENTITY, INDEPENDENCE AND INTIMACY
• ARE AS MUCH A PART OF THE COLLEGE EXPERIENCE AS
• BIOLOGY AND ART HISTORY

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• ALTHOUGH THEY ARE
• OUT OF THE HOUSE
• THEY ARE STILL PART OF THE
• FAMILY
• KEEP THEM INFORMED
• AND INCLUDED IN
• FAMILY DECISIONS
• AND FAMILY LIFE

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• KEEP YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR

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• LISTEN
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