Marriage built on hope

1
Marriage built on hope

• Pre-marital and marital
• pastoral counseling
• By Valda Viesturs Rekis
• 2007

2
Once a relationship has begun, however, it must
be maintained
3

• 31
• 28
• 7

4
Contents

• Christian counseling
• Choosing the mate
• Pre-marital counseling sessions
• Marital problems causes and prevention

5
Christian counseling

• Biblically mandated, effective, important and
  necessary part of ministry
• The ultimate goal - to help counselees experience
  healing, learning, and personal - spiritual
  growth
• Jesus counseling techniques
• Depending on the situation
• The nature of the counselee
• The specific problem
• Listening carefully without giving much direction
• Teaching decisively
• Encouraging and supporting
• Confronting and challenging

Each of us should please his neighbor for his
good, to build him up (Rom.152)
6
Christian Counseling (continued)

• Jesus as a people helper
• Uniqueness of Christian counseling
• The church as a healing community
• Gods Word as a healing balm

The Counselor, the Holy Spirit, will teach you
all things and will remind you of everything I
have said to you (John 1426)
7
Choosing the mate

• The second most important decision in life
• ... for better or for worse...
• Finding Mr.Right
• Giving direction in mate selection

Good choices do not always lead to good marriages
8
Why do you want to get married?

• Spiritual evaluation
• Reassurance
• Giving direction in mate selection
• Evaluating motives, ideals and maturity
• Teaching about mate selection
• Encouraging patience

9
Pre-marital counseling

• 1 Corinthians 7
• Reasons for guidance
• Reasons for counseling

Good marriages start before the wedding
10
Premarital Counseling

• Counseling sessions
• one
• two
• three/four
• five
• six

11
Marital problems

• Bible about marital problems
• Causes leaving, being united, becoming one
• The recovery of hope

12
Marital problems

• 1. Be alert to yourself
• 2. Be alert to special issues
• 3. Assess the marriage
• 4. Determine the goals
• 5. Focus on persons
• 6. Focus on problems
• 7. Focus on process

13
Preventing marital problems

• Teach Biblical principles
• Emphasize the importance of marriage
• Teach principles of communication
• Encourage counseling when needed

14
For discussion and activity

• AFTER 5 YEARS CREATING A NEW MARITAL SPIRIT
• AFTER 10 YEARS CHANGING FOCUS FROM ONESELF
• AFTER 15 YEARS HOW TO LIVE TOGETHER WITHOUT
  LOOSING MYSELF?
• ANNUAL LOVE CELEBRATION
• SPECIAL CHURCH ORGANIZED EVENTS FOR COUPLES
• INDIVIDUAL/GROUP MARRIAGE ENRICHMENT GROUPS

15
Suggested literature

• Balswick J.O.J.K. Balswick Family. (BakerBooks,
  2002.)
• Collins G.R. Christian Counseling. (Word
  Publishing,1998.)
• Ferguson David and Teresa. Keeping Marriages
  Healthy. (Zondervan Publishing House, 1998.)
• Garland D.R. Family Ministry. (InterVarsity
  Press, 1999.)
• Joy D.M. Bonding. (Evangel Publishing House,
  1996.)
• Holford K. and K. and R. Flowers. Jumpstart
  Connections. (Ministerial Resource Center, 2006.)
• Holford K. The Family Book. (The stanborough
  Press Limited, 2004.)
• Grunlan S.A. Marriage and the Family. (Zondervan
  Publishing House, 1999.)

16
Suggested literature (cont.)

• Littauer F. and F. After Every Wedding Comes a
  Marriage. (Harvest House Publishers, 1997.)
• Mazat A. Captivated by Love. (Ministeril
  Association, 1996.)
• Sanders R.K. Christian Counseling Ethics.
  ((InterVarsity Press, 1997.)
• Smedes L. Sex for Christians. (Triangle, 1993.)
• Wright N.H. Communication. (Regal Books, 2000.)

17
Thank You!