Effective Relationship management is crucial in todays society'

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Effective Relationship management is crucial in
todays society. Working and personal
relationships can suffer as a result of lack of
attention, care or the impact of personal
stress. In this course we will consider the
following. Behavioural styles and how they
influence relationships. How influence and
persuasion can help create effective
relationships. Assertive behaviour.
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Managing Relationships Consider your colleagues
and friends, those who make an effort, extend
themselves and create some kind of connection
with you. Loyalty and trust are built, so
dealing with those people is something you would
look forward to and appreciate. Much research has
been conducted on how people behave, the
following screens demonstrate one adaptation of
behavioural theory.
Do you have someone you can rely on, to always be
there, to help you with any problem, to join in
the fun too What behaviours do they display
when you are together What behaviours do you
display too?
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Basic characteristics of behaviour
Proactive (Controlling) No Concern for people
Proactive (Decisive) People Orientated
Reactive (Passive) no concern for people
Reactive (Indecisive) People Orientated
Do you fall into any of these categories, some of
the time, all of the time, never?
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• Proactive (Controlling) No Concern for people

• Proactive, Controlling and lacking in concern for
  people
• Feel the need to take charge, run the show
• Grab the credit and take all the bows
• Little faith and concern in others
• What ever it takes to get your way, youll do it
• Likely to lose your temper and use your temper
  like a club

You may have worked or known someone like this,
how did you respond to them in their company?
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Proactive (Decisive) People Orientated

• Proactive, decisive and people orientated
• Willing to lead the charge and make tough
  decisions
• Share the spotlight, control the situation but
  not the people in it
• Listen to input and suggestions but ultimately do
  way you feel it should to be done
• Undermines or runs roughshod over people

You may have worked or known someone like this,
how did you respond to them in their company?
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Reactive (Passive) No Concern for People

• Has little regard or trust for others
• Tends to shun responsibility
• Avoid the spotlight
• Keeps thought and feeling to ones self
• Takes whatever is dished out even if you dont
  like it and fume inwardly
• Apt to sulk or pout rather than confront the
  issue or the offending person

You may have worked or known someone like this,
how did you respond to them in their company?
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Reactive (Indecisive) People Orientated

• Reactive but indecisive, warm and friendly
• Doesn't like making decisions
• Dont get others angry or be a leader or a star
• Team player, well liked and let others take the
  credit
• While you dont get angry, you do get hurt

You may have worked or known someone like this,
how did you respond to them in their company?
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Managing work relationships. People have
differing characteristics and Behaviours, do you
recognise any of these character types in your
workplace?
The Star
The Mole
The Buddy
The Partner
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The Star
Me. Me, me, look at me, tell me Im good,
Proactive (Controlling) no concern for people
The Mole
Dont pay attention to me, dont ask me anything,
keep me in the dark, Reactive (passive) no
concern for people
The Partner
We should both be paying attention and listening
to each other, Proactive (decisive) people
orientated
The Buddy
Please like me, listen to my stories, lets have
a good time, lets be friends, Reactive
(indecisive) people orientated
Youve had a think about your colleagues, what
would they think of you?
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Ownership
Managing work relationships.
When dealing with a difficult person it is worth
remembering who owns the problems and
ITS NOT YOU
Whatever is going on especially during arguments,
putdowns and other unpleasant situations in many
cases will be caused by something out of your
control
This isn't about me
There maybe many ways to react to the situation
but if someone chooses anger then which ever way
you consider it is not about you its about them
Anger is a choice
Behaviour breeds behaviour treat others how you
would expect to be treated yourself.
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Choose your response
There are two types of response Reactive
spontaneous knee jerk reaction Proactive
responsive and considered action
Stay Centred
Being centred means stable, steady, grounded
self controlled, restrained. That you know who
you are means you dont change every time the
wind blows or life gives you a set of cards you
dont particularly like.
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Why are people difficult?

• Working with Difficult People

Difficult means hard to deal with, manage or
understand. Labelling someone difficult is a
subjective assessment.
A colleague you see as difficult may be viewed by
another person as co-operative and good natured.
You may find that the label difficult may also
be applied to you, at times.

• Times of change
• A lack of manners
• Increased diversity in the workplace
• Boring stressful jobs
• Personal problems outside work
• Cynicism

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Difficult Bosses
The Dictator
The Parent
The Bumbler
The Cheerleader
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The Dictator
Proactive (controlling) no concern for people
Some Managers are this way because it is the only
way they know, some managers condone this style
because it gets results. OR, they maybe just
angry people who have not learned to control
their emotions of channel their aggression.
The Bumbler
Reactive (passive) no concern for people
Muddles through the day, avoids decisions, barely
communicates, does not make waves, the department
drifts along like a rudderless boat.
The Parent
Reactive (indecisive) people orientated
Feels a great responsibility for his group of
employees. On one hand he is a tough taskmaster
on the other totally sympathetic. The problem is
that he treats you as one of his children and not
as an equal.
Gives us a C, give us an H
Proactive (decisive) people orientated
Can iron out any disagreement, forge you and your
fellow workers into a cohesive team, a wonderful
mentor, shines the spotlight on you.
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Influence and persuasion
Persuasion and influence are important social and
work tools, Using them effectively can help with
relationship management.
Persuasion is The power to persuade, to cause to
believe, to convince. Influence is The power of
one person over another, the power to sway,
resulting from ability, wealth, or
position. Persuasion and influence give you
power over others. Influence is power, gained
through positive persuasion. With the right
persuasive techniques, you can have a
powerful influence over others.
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Persuasion gives you the ability to Solve
problems Create improvements Transform apathy
into enthusiasm Gain acceptance At home you
can Use it to cut down on arguments Make people
feel more positive towards you It helps you get
people to do what is needed, with good long term
results. It is non adversarial, makes people
feel positive and satisfied as they feel they are
doing something they want or need to. People
look to others for assurance for what they
believe or do you can use this trait to
persuade and influence others to comply. People
like to say yes to people they know and like.
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Influencing people helps you in
Gaining support, inspiring others, persuading
other people to become your champions, engaging
someone's imagination, creating relationships.
People are often influenced by people they
like/trust/admire and respect. To aid your
influencing skills, demonstrate these
qualities Give praise sincerely Show them you
are genuine Be Sincere Be a good
listener Encourage them to open up and take about
themselves Talk in terms of their interest, not
yours Remember names Remember to smile
especially when meeting for the first time Dont
criticise, condemn or complain be constructive
Influencing is about being able to move things
forward, without pushing, forcing or telling
others what to do.
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Assertive Behaviour
How assertive behaviour helps you manage
relationships
Makes it easier to stand your ground when you
need to
How ever assertive we think we are, if were
honest there are times when wed like to be more
assertive.
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Assertive Behaviour
Lets consider Non assertive behaviour This is
being passive and indirect. By being
non-assertive we communicate to other people that
we are not as important as they are. We allow
the other persons needs, wants and rights to
take priority over our own. Non-assertive
behaviour leads to people feeling like victims,
likely to suffer from a loss of self esteem and
increasing frustration. It causes lose-win
situations i.e. the non-assertive person loses
out by letting the other person win.
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Assertive Behaviour
Lets consider Aggressive behaviour This is
sometimes the complete opposite of non-assertive
behaviour, but it is usually more complex than
that. Aggressive behaviour can be honest or
dishonest, intended or unintended, active or
passive, direct or indirect but it always
communicates an impression of superiority. It is
saying that my needs, wants and rights are more
important than the other persons. The
aggressive person attempts to overpower the other
person by not allowing him/her a choice.
Aggressive behaviour creates a win-lose
situation i.e. the aggressive person wins by
ensuring that the other person loses. Aggressive
behaviour may lead to later retaliation, because
nobody really likes a bully.
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Assertive Behaviour
Lets consider Assertive behaviour This is active,
honest and direct. It communicates an impression
of respect for oneself as well as for the other
person. It says that my wants, needs and rights
are just as important as yours are not more so
or less so. Assertive behaviour requires
influencing, listening, negotiating and being
clear so that the other person feels that their
point of view is being respected, even if
ultimately you dont agree with it. The hope is
that both you and they will co-operate willingly
with whatever course of action is decided upon.
This should lead to open, honest relationships
and success without retaliation a win-win
situation. Maintains relationships with others,
while at the same time making good progress
towards achieving aims.
Please see the workbook on your TMS for further
Assertive Behaviour information, which will help
you become more influential and add to your
persuasive skills.
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Acceptance / Belonging
Summary
Love, affection, inclusion These needs are
satisfied through support from others At work,
such needs are met by a spirit of collaboration
and teamwork
Reputation Status Prestige Approval Self
respect A feeling of worth Praise and reward for
our achievements
Esteem / Recognition
In Maslows theory of needs, 2 of our the needs
stages are included here, our need for
acceptance and recognition. Managing Effective
Relationships can help fulfil these basic human
needs.
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As each goose flaps its wings, it creates an
uplift for the birds that follow. By flying in a
V formation the whole flock adds 71 greater
flying range than if each flew alone
When a goose falls out of formation, other geese
also fall out to help and when ready, also re
form the V formation to help get back up to
speed.
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END
Lesson People who share a common direction and
sense of community can get where they are going
quicker and easier because they are travelling on
the thrust of one another, this is one of the
benefits of managing
effective relationships, Perhaps we should
behave more like Geese?