Focus Questions

1
Focus Questions

• What is the self?
• How does communication influence personal
  identity?
• How can you resist destructive patterns in
  communication with yourself?
• What are values and risks of self-disclosing
  communication?
• How can you foster your personal growth?

2
Communication Personal Identity

• The self arises in communication with others
• Self-fulfilling prophesy expectations, judgment
  of ourselves (internalized labels)
• Particular others parents, siblings, peers
• Reflected appraisals a process of seeing
  ourselves through the eyes of others
• Generalized others collection of rules, roles
• Media
• Institutions Judicial system, marriage,
  education system

3
Communication with family members

• Direct definition Explicitly told
• Identity scripts Rules of living and identity
• Attachment styles Patterns of parenting how to
  approach relationship (next slide)
• Secure attachment Consistent, attentive
  self-worth
• Fearful attachment Rejecting, abusive unworthy
  of love
• Dismissive attachment Rejecting, abusive
  dismissing others as unworthy
• Anxious/ambivalent attachment Inconsistent
  parenting assuming others right / self unworthy
  of love

4
Attachment Styles
Views of self
Positive
Negative
Secure
Anxious/Ambivalent
Positive
Consistent, attentive self-worth
Inconsistent parenting assuming others right /
self unworthy of love
Views of others
Dismissive
Negative
Fearful
Rejecting, abusive unworthy of love
Rejecting, abusive dismissing others as unworthy
5
Communication with Peers

• Playmates, classmates, friends, partners
• Reflected appraisals
• Social comparisons
• Judgment about talents, qualities, abilities
• Self-disclosure
• Revelation of personal information about
  ourselves
• Hopes, fears, experiences, perceptions
• The Johari Window four types of information
  (knowledge) about us (p. 214)

6
Communication with society

• Four aspects of identity
• Race
• Gender
• Sexual orientation
• Socioeconomic level
• Other social values
• Intelligence, weight (slimness), height

7
Challenges in Communicating with Ourselves

• Reflecting critically on social perspectives
• Ethical obligation to promote positive social
  values and a fair social world
• Individual collective efforts to revise social
  meaning
• Seeking personal growth as a communicator
• Set realistic goals
• Assess yourself fairly (reasonable social
  comparison)
• Self disclose appropriately safe, gradual,
  reciprocal
• Creative a supportive climate for change
• Uppers who communicates positively about us
• Downers who communicates negatively about us
• Vultures an extreme form of downers who attacks
  our self-concepts