Wiley the Elevator Operator

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Wiley the Elevator Operator

• A Story of Whiles

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• Once upon a time there was a land called
  Rumbilia. In the land of Rumbilia everyone was a
  grump.
• People went around, stomping the ground, gritting
  their teeth, and mumbling under their breath.

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• The king of Rumbilia was the biggest grump of
  all. Anyone caught telling a joke was
  immediately sent to the dungeon where they were
  forced to listen to Carrot Top jokes for hours on
  end until they stopped laughing.

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• One day, Horace and Tom, two unhappy citizens of
  Rumbilia, were talking. Tom said, I think the
  king is so grumpy, if he tried to smile, his face
  would crack!
• Horace smiled, then sniffed, then laughed out
  loud.

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• Tom looked stunned, afraid of someone seeing.
  When he realized that no one was around, and he
  saw Horaces red, happy face, he laughed himself.
• And they laughed and laughed, until they had to
  go to the Rumbilian hospital to recover.

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• After that, Tom and Horace would meet together
  secretly and laugh, usually at the king.
• They decided that they wanted to be able to laugh
  anytime they wanted, so they decided to create a
  new, happy, underground societyof laughers.

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• Tom went to work digging, and when anyone would
  ask what he was doing, he would grumpily reply,
  Digging my grave. Everyone figured he was
  really unhappy, and so everything was fine in
  Rumbilia.

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• One day the underground tunnel was finished,
  complete with some underground houses and an
  underground comedy club, and a great elevator
  that went down to the new community.
• Tom and Horace broke it to their families what
  they had been up to all this time, and they all
  agreed to try the underground living for awhile.

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• Several months later, there were many people
  living in underground Rumbilia, and everyone was
  having a great time. Until one day, when the
  king sent a spy to the underground world.

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The spy found the elevator, and went down to the
underground society. There he caught and
arrested several members of the underground
society when he found them laughing.
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• Tom and Horace and the rest of the council of
  underground laughers decided something must be
  done.
• So they hired an elevator operator as a security
  officer for the underground society.
• Many applicants came and went, but in the end
  they chose a man named Wiley.

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• Wiley the elevator operator was charged with
  making sure everyone not commiserate with the
  underground cause was denied access to the
  elevator.

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• Moreover, it was decreed that every morning every
  citizen of the underground community would ride
  the elevator up to Rumbilia, get some supplies
  and fresh air, and then come back to the
  elevator. They must then get past Wiley to get
  back on the elevator and ride down to the
  underground society.

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• The underground society thrived. Every day the
  citizens went up to Rumbilia, and stood in line
  to get back on the elevator to ride back down to
  the underground for the day.
• But to get back on the elevator, they had to
  endure questioning from Wiley to make sure they
  were still true laughers instead of grumps.
  Anyone changing his mind about being a laugher
  would not be let back in.

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• They rode up the elevator,
• Show Wiley they were true laughers,
• And rode back down.

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• They rode up the elevator,
• Show Wiley they were true laughers,
• And rode back down.

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• They rode up the elevator,
• Show Wiley they were true laughers,
• And rode back down.

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• But now Im being repetitive.

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• One day the king noticed that the population of
  Rumbilia was dwindling, and that the tax
  collectors were bringing back less and less. So
  the king went to the underground elevator, to
  find some laughers and arrest them.
• The king went to the elevator and hit the button.
  Up came the elevator, but when the door opened,
  he was surprised to see Wiley.

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• Wiley asked the king, What do you call a cow
  with no legs?
• The king did not know.
• Wiley said Ground beef.
• The king did not laugh.

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• Wiley asked the king, What do you call a blind
  deer?
• The king shook his head.
• Wiley said, No-eye deer.
• The king did not laugh.

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• Wiley asked the king, What do you get when you
  cross an elephant with a rhino?
• The king shook his head.
• Wiley said, Eleph-ino!
• The king was quiet.

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• Wiley was about to tell the king he could not get
  in the elevator.
• But then, the kings frown lifted just a little.
• Then, his lips curled up at the end, ever so
  slightly.
• Then, the king smiled.
• Then, for the first time ever, the king laughed.
• And laughed and laughed and laughed.
• And Wiley hit the down button.

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• The laughing king visited the underground
  community and went to the comedy club. He had a
  great time laughing. At the end of the day, he
  asked if he could stay, and the people agreed
  that he could.
• And all the people of Rumbilia and the king moved
  underground and are laughing and laughing, even
  to this day.