Characteristics of Helpful, Non-threatening Feedback

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Characteristics of Helpful, Non-threatening
Feedback

• Psyc 4030

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Behavior not the person.

• Refer to what a person does
• Not what you imagine he/she is.
• Use adverbs (which relate to actions)
• Not adjectives (which relate to qualities)
• Say a person "talked considerably in this
  meeting,"
• Not this person "is a loudmouth.

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Observations not Inferences.

• Observations refer to what you can see or hear in
  the behavior of another person,
• Inferences refer to interpretations and
  conclusions which you make from what you see or
  hear.
• Inferences contaminate your observations
• When inferences or conclusions are shared, it is
  important that they be so identified.
• Your hands are shaking vs. you were nervous.
  

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Describe dont Judge

• The effort to describe represents a process for
  reporting what occurred,
• Judgment refers to an evaluation in terms of good
  or bad, right or wrong, nice or not nice.
• Judgments arise out of a personal frame of
  reference or value system,
• Description represents neutral (as far as
  possible) reporting.
• This is the third time you failed to complete
  your assignment on time
• Not, you are lazy, or you are careless.

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More or Less" not Either-or."

• This terminology implies that the behavior falls
  on a continuum.
• Stress quantity, which is objective and
  measurable vs.
• Quality, which is subjective and judgmental
• Low participation to high participation not
  "good" or "bad" participation.
• Would you want to work on increasing your
  frequency of telling the truth
• Would you like to stop being a liar?

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Specific Situation, Here and Now," not Abstract
Behavior There and Then."

• Behavior is situation specific
• Time and place increase understanding of
  behavior.
• Feedback is most meaningful if you give it as
  soon as it is appropriate to do so.
• Not Something you said last week has been
  bothering me. (This may be necessary for
  counselors)
• Instead, What you just said bothers me.
  

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Advise Tentatively with Alternatives

• People should decide for themselves, in the
  light of their own goals in a particular
  situation at a particular time.
• Save direct and specific advice for crisis
  situations
• Not You should change jobs
• Rather Several possibilities you might consider
  are

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Evaluate Alternatives

• Ask what is the risk and what is the benefit of
  each option
• Ask the client to choose which is the best for
  them?
• Usually about 3 options is best.
• Not, this is what you should do
• Rather, which of these three is best for you
  right now?

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Feedback Must Help the Client Not Relief for the
Counselor

• Serve the needs of the client not the needs of
  the counselor
• Client should (almost) always retain the option
  to act on the feedback.
• (Legal and clear moral issues are exceptions)
• If this is something you are ready for here are
  some options to consider vs.
• You really need to hear this.

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Choose Your Dose Based on Client Capacity

• Less is more, more is less
• Avoid meeting your own need to dump.

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Choose Your Moment Place

• Weigh the many possible reactions
• Consider Privacy
• Consider Overall Emotional Load
• Avoid the end of the session

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Avoid Guessing Motives

• When you relate feedback to the what, how, when,
  where, of what is said, yourelate it to
  observable characteristics.
• Avoid the why (motive)
• You criticized her when she was crying
• You wanted to hurt her

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Summary

• Behavior not the person.
• Observations not Inferences
• Description not Judgment
• More or Less" Behavior not Either-or.
• Specific Situation, Here and Now," not Abstract
  Behavior There and Then."
• Give Advice Tentatively and with Alternatives
• Evaluate Alternatives
• Feedback Must Help the Client Not Relieve the
  Counselor
• Choose Your Dose Based on Client Capacity
• Choose Your Moment Place
• Avoid Guessing Motives