BOYS, THEIR EMOTIONAL GROWTH AND THE SINGLE SEX CULTURE

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BOYS, THEIR EMOTIONAL GROWTH AND THE SINGLE SEX
CULTURE

• Palmerston North
• Boys High School,
• August 28th, 2009

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Emotional Intelligence is the skill of
integrating feeling with reason and cognition in
making sound decisions which enhance our lives as
thinking human beings.

• Daniel Goleman People who possess emotional
  intelligence are healthier, less depressed, more
  productive at work, and have better
  relationships.
• We will consider
• Why is EI of significance in the raising of boys?
• How does the brain integrate feeling and reason?
• Goldmans five components of EI
• Can EI be learned? Can EI be measured?
• How does a teacher/parent foster EI?
• Why the single sex environment can be so
  effective

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So why is EI assuming such significance?

• Alleged world wide decline in performance of
• boys relative to girls
• The changing nature of knowledge through the
  internet and the new set of learning skills
• New understandings of metacognition is changing
  teaching and learning
• The decline of the wisdom of the elders
  especially the significant males
• The persistence of stereotypes through the media
• The decline in seeking to understand the
  emotional, the spiritual, the unseen
  characteristics of being human

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The basic structure of the human brain

• Three parts of the brain but they work together
• The reptillian brain the instinct to survive,
  sleep, eat etc
• The limbic system generate emotions but not
  conscious
• The cortex processes emotions into awareness
  thinking, planning, organising and communicating

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BUT

• Within the limbic system is the
• amygdala
• which introduces emotion (fear love, happiness
  etc) into the neo-cortex and hence recognition.
• But, the amygdala is capable of persuading the
  emotional system to act independently of the
  rational system, or the cortex.
• When that happens, the neo-cortex system, (the
  fontal lobes) swings into action and brings the
  moderating influence of rational thought

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But boys have a brain-centred problem

• In the growth from childhood through adolescence
  a larger fraction of brain activity associated
  with emotion moves up to the cortex but not in
  boys it remains stuck in the amygdala.
• Boys aged 6-17 are at the same emotional state
  they are not good at writing or verbalising how
  they feel. But they actually feel more than
  girls. This helps explain why boys at 15-17 are
  at their most erratic and unsettled
• Jeremy Madin Our boys need our love most when
  they deserve it least.

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Every seventeen seconds

• When all of the neural transmitters are
  frantically trying to get order and reason, they
  are hindered in that process by
  
• TESTOSTERONE!
• Testosterone inhibits left hemisphere brain
  activity and this significantly constrains
  literacy, reflection and reason. At the same
  time, this hormone powerfully stimulates right
  hemisphere brain activity, generating affective
  and physical competence and unleashing energy.
• The neural pathway connecting the left and right
  brain is much less efficient in males than in
  females. Little wonder that when he is then
  accused of not listening he becomes stubborn
  and recalcitrant as he tries to deal with the
  inequity of our demands.

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All of this explains why boys

• Fidget or are strongly kinaesthetic i.e. right
  brain learners
• Dont appear to listen they process sound
  differently
• Develop language skills more slowly than girls
  especially reading.
• Dont use words in dealing with emotional crises,
  lack sophistication in emotional lives
• Prefer independence rather than emotional
  connectedness. He cant share the processing of
  his amigydala. He needs to learn intellectual
  collaboration like he knows teamwork on the
  sportsfield.
• Minimise emotions to do with vulnerability,
  guilt, fear and hurt
• Accept power or aptitude hierarchies in peer
  relationships
• Inject irony into their behaviours
• Are often in the middle of an action before they
  consider or even notice the consequences
• Behave differently in a group than when alone
• Are stimulated by the challenges presented by
  older males
• There are serious psychological and social
  consequences in
• older males shaming boys or speaking down to
  them in an aggressive or hectoring way
• or
• females deliberately demeaning their masculinity
  or their boycode.
• But they must learn how to negotiate their place
  in the world. Thats why emotional intelligence
  is vital.

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Daniel Golemans five components of EMOTIONAL
INTELLIGENCE
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Can EI be learned?

• Yes, but there is the same old nature/nurture
  debate
• There is a genetic component to emotional
  intelligence
• It also increases with age (maturity and wisdom)
• Remember that EI is born largely in the limbic
  system which governs feelings, impulses and
  drives. If teaching and learning focuses only on
  the neo-cortical system (concepts, rote learning
  etc), research indicates it can hinder a boys
  school performance.
• So
• EI is improved by
• Motivation
• Extended Practice
• Feedback
• Individualism
• Metacognition
• It requires patience, a two to three year
  commitment prior to adolescence and absolute
  unity between home and school.

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How does a mentor foster EI?

• Value the internal life of the boy even if he
  cant describe it to you. Heaps of hugs signal to
  him that his internal life is being recognised.
• Recognise high activity levels, short attention
  spans empathise, dont criticise he cant help
  it.
• Consult at his level, empower him, put him in
  control.
• Show him respecting the rights and feelings of
  others is a sign of manly virtue
• Firm and quick discipline to build recognition of
  self and resilience, not an enemy
• Model a manhood of emotional attachment
• Recognise the power of games and physical
  challenge
• Respect the variety of ways of being a man. Dont
  try to persuade them, just alert them
• Respect their emerging sexuality

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Designing the single sex environment some
initial thoughts

• Schools are neither natural nor part of the real
  world
• A bad single sex school is the most destructive
  model, a good one can be inspiring
• Leadership dynamic is the major culture
  transmitter for manly virtue
• Female power brokerage more important than female
  modelling
• Boys schools are tribal, ritualistic and vigorous
• Self efficacy is more meaningful than self esteem

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The educational culture of a single sex school
for boys

• The most important socialising dynamic is the
  modelling provided by older boys and male staff
• Power must be exercised within a clearly defined
  values and ethics policy
• Participation and experience of both the physical
  and the cultural
• Valuing the history and traditions of the school
• Two levels of accountability the official
  precepts of the school and the health and morale
  of their peers in the student body
• Power brokerage with females

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