Managing Negativity self and others

1
Managing Negativity (self and others)

• Employee Assistance Program
• Annette Martinez, LCSW, LCDC, SAP, CEAP

2
Natural reactions for dealing with negative people

• Tear them down
• Explain their motives
• React

3
All behavior occurs for a reason

• People respond from their reality
• most of the time, we dont have
  the capacity to understand the reality
  of others

4
Situations/Experiences that tend to bring out the
worst in us all

• Poor health
• Poverty
• Lack of resources
• Lack of support
• Language, cultural, educational/job barriers
• Fear, hopelessness
• Long waits, fatigue, hunger, criticism
• Family crisis/death/illness

5
Controlling personalities (in stress)

• Abrupt, overwhelm, intimidate
• Dont listen
• Criticize, fault find
• Stress will exacerbate control issues

6
Passive aggressive personalities (in stress)

• Hidden attacks/agenda
• Insincere flattery
• Make take advantage of others
• Charming
• Door slammers
• Get even attitude
• Sabotage
• Silence

7
Dissatisfied (in stress)

• Quick to point out problem/shifts blame
• View self as powerless picked on
• Strong sense of how others should be
• Detrimental for morale
• Has history of poor relationships

8
How to reduce conflict

• Listen and ask questions
• Dont argue with defenses/ silence
• View person as insecure/ afraid/ ill
• Ask person to sit
• Attempt problem solving
• Pay attention to non-verbal communication

9
How to reduce conflict cont

• Let go of past experiences
• Differences are okay
• Find the good
• Separate person from behavior
• Set good boundaries, walk away
• Choose where and when-wait
• Use email

10
Tips for supporting person with difficult
behaviors

• Listen
• Specifically identify problem behavior
• Help person recognize the impact on
  career/education
• Incorporate goals into problem solving
• Interpersonal conflict is the 1 reason employees
  leave

11
Dealing with difficult supervisors

• Use previous suggestions that apply
• Dont approach when hostile
• Ask supervisor when would be a good time to meet.
  Dont wait until 445 on Friday.
• Discuss whats really important
• Utilize the EAP
• Utilize student counseling

12
Reducing personal negativity

• Identify your greatest stressors-prioritize
• Create mechanisms for releasing stress
• Take action where you can
• Focus on whats right
• Express gratitude
• Check your motives/ lens
• Seek options, alternatives, and possibilities

13
Reducing personal negativity cont.

• Reject inflexibility (stress)
• Rest and renewal
• Note your own emotional high-jacking
• Reframe from negative talk (gossip)
• Withhold judgments
• Expect the best
• Let Go