Hurts, Habits and Hangups

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Hurts, Habits and Hangups

• Resiliency 101

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A True Story

• A friend recently sat
  by an old couple at
  a hospice. After
  sitting
  quietly for a
  few minutes, the wife suddenly turned to
  her husband and called out in a loud voice
• Hey, I almost forgot to ask. How did your
  autopsy turn out?
• The old man just stared straight ahead. Biopsy,
  he said quietly. The biopsy went fine.

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Client
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Patterns
The Plan of Salvation

• The Heros Journey
• Young Hero
• Often with great linage
• Must go on heroic journey/quest
• Gathers helpers along the way
• Wise (often a trickster helper)
• Must pass several tasks
• Greatest test is against himself
• Finally wins the prize
• But, his own growth, gained from the journey,
  was the real purpose
• Wilderness experience

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Questions

• Why cant I stop doing X?
• Whats wrong with me?
• No matter how hard I try, I keep going back to
  it.
• Now, add on the extra guilt
• If I just had enough will power, I could change
  it!

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Current ResearchPET Scans
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The Good News

• Through the Atonement of Christ
• He can heal what we cannot
• He can remove from us, from our brains, what He
  will

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In fact

• Ether 12
• And I said unto him Lord, the Gentiles will mock
  at these things, because of our weakness in
  writing
• Lords Response
• if men come unto me I will show unto them their
  weakness.
• I give unto men weakness that they may be humble
  
• and my grace is sufficient for all men that
  humble themselves before me
• then will I make weak things become strong unto
  them.

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On the other hand
So, depending on His plan for us (and for others)

• I knew a man in Christ above fourteen years ago,
  (whether in the body, I cannot tell or
  whether out of the body, I cannot tell
  God knoweth) such an one caught up to the
  third heaven. (Himself)
• How that I was caught up into paradise,
  and heard unspeakable words, which it
  is not lawful for a man to utter
• And lest I should be exalted above
  measure through the abundance of the revelations,
  there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the
  messenger of Satan to buffet me
• For this thing I besought the Lord thrice,
  that it might depart from me.
• And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for
  thee for my strength is made perfect in weakness
  
• Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities,
  in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions,
  in distresses for Christ's sake for when I am
  weak, then am I strong. (2 Cor 12)

1- Our weakness May be made strong
2- Our weakness May be our thorn in the Flesh
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President Benson

• Men and women who turn their lives over to God
  will discover that He can make a lot more out of
  their lives than they can.
• He will deepen their joys, expand their vision,
  quicken their minds, lift their spirits, multiply
  their blessings, increase their opportunities,
  comfort their souls, raise up friends, and pour
  out peace.
• Whoever will lose his life in the service of God
  will find eternal life.

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Elder Holland

• Natural man, with all of his new and wonderful
  but as yet unbridled and unregenerated potential,
  must be made "submissive" to the Holy Spirit, a
  spirit that still entices and lifts us upward.
• Our deepest desires, our premortal yearnings, are
  still divine in their origins, and they are still
  deep in our souls. The echoes of our earlier
  innocence still reverberate, and the light that
  forsakes the evil one still shines.
• Our hearts canand in their purity, dodesire
  that which is spiritual and holy rather than that
  which is "carnal, sensual, and devilish.
• Christ and the New Covenant The Messianic
  Message of the Book of Mormon

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Hurts, Habits and Hangups12 Step Program For
Putting off the Natural Man(Adapted from the
LDS ARP Program)

• Step 1-
• Admit that you, of yourself, are powerless to
  overcome your hurts, habits and hangups and that
  with them, your life has become unmanageable.
• Step 2-
• Come to believe that the power of God, through
  the Atonement, can heal all our ills.
• Step 3-
• Decide to return your will and your life to God
  the Eternal Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.
• Step 4-
• Make a searching and honest inventory of
  yourself.
• Step 5-
• Admit to yourself, to Heavenly Father, to proper
  priesthood authorities when necessary, and to
  others, those personal characteristics that need
  to change.
• Step 6-
• Become entirely ready to have God remove your
  shortcomings.
• Step 7-
• Humbly ask Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus
  Christ, to heal those shortcomings.

Powerless, but also empowered!
Elder Maxwell The submission of ones will is
really the only uniquely personal thing we have
to place on Gods altar. It is a hard doctrine,
but it is true. The many other things we give to
God, however nice that may be of us, are actually
things He has already given us, and He has
loaned them to us. But when we begin to submit
ourselves by letting our wills be swallowed up in
Gods will, then we are really Giving something
to Him (Insights from My Life, Ensign,
Aug. 2000, 9).
Ammon I do not boast in my own strengthYea I
know that I am nothing as to my strength I am
weak therefore I will not boast of myself, but I
will boast of my God, for in His strength I can
do all things (Alma 26 11,12)
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Hurts, Habits and Hangups12 Step Program For
Putting offthe Natural Man(Adapted from the LDS
ARP Program)

• Step 8-
• Make a list of all people you might have
  negatively impacted and seek to make restitution
  to them whenever possible.
• Step 9-
• Make a list of all people who might have harmed
  you and through the Atonement of Christ, frankly
  forgive them.
• Step 10-
• Take daily personal inventory and when you are
  wrong, promptly admit it and ask Heavenly Father
  for help.
• Step 11-
• Seek through humble prayer to know the Lords
  will and to be empowered to carry it out.
• Step 12
• Having had a spiritual awakening as result of
  Jesus Christ, share the message of Hope with
  others and practice these principles in all you
  do.

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Elder Featherstone

• One day a woman came to my business office.
  She leaned across the desk and said,
  "President, I have carried a transgression on
  my heart for thirty-four years that I cannot
  carry one more step in this life. I know how
  tenderhearted you are, and I wouldn't add one
  particle of a burden to your soul."
• I said, "My dear sister, before you go on, let me
  share with you a principle of the gospel. When
  you take a burden off your soul, it is lifted
  from the priesthood leader's soul also."
• She said, "I know I will be cast out I know I
  will be excommunicated, but does it have to be
  forever? Thirty-four years ago, before my first
  husband and I were married, I was involved in an
  abortion. Since that time, I have felt like a
  murderess. It was my husband's idea, and I did
  not resist. I had an abortion. Later we got
  married. He was unfaithful constantly during the
  first two years of our marriage.

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Elder Featherstone Continues

• I finally divorced him and have since remarried a
  wonderful man who is a convert to the Church. He
  knows everything and he still wants to be sealed
  to me. President, do you think that either in
  time or in eternity we can be sealed together? I
  know I will have to be cast out, but does it have
  to be forever?" The tears flowed down her cheeks.
• I had known this woman and thought she was
  one of the most Christlike women I had ever
  met. She always baked bread, rolls, or cookies
  for the people in the neighborhood. Whenever
  they had a ward party and the Relief Society
  sisters cleaned up, she always scrubbed the
  floor. She said that she didn't feel worthy to
  stand by them and do the dishes after
  what she had done she only felt worthy to
  scrub the floor where they walked. She told me
  that she had never gossiped about anyone else.
  "How could I," she said, "after what I had done?"

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• I listened to her confession, humbled to
  tears, and told her, "I have never had a case
  of abortion before. I will need to write to
  President Kimball, then the President of the
  Quorum of the Twelve, and get his counsel."
• I wrote to President Kimball and shared the
  entire story. I told him that she was one of
  the most Christlike women I had known and that
  she was willing to submit to any decision he
  would have for her. Two weeks later I received
  his response. I called the sister and asked her
  to meet me at the stake office as soon as she
  could. When I arrived at the stake center, she
  was already there. Her eyes were red, and she
  was pale. I know she must have been on her knees
  several times after my call, asking for mercy.
• Again I sat across the desk from her and said, "I
  do not want to keep you waiting one second
  longer. We are not even going to stop for prayer.
  Let me read you President Kimball's letter 'Dear
  President Featherstone You inquired about a
  woman who had been involved in an abortion
  thirty-four years ago. From the way you describe
  her, it sounds like she has long since repented.
  You may tell her on behalf of the Church she is
  forgiven. After a thorough and searching
  interview, you may issue this sweet sister a
  temple recommend so she can go to the temple and
  be sealed to her present husband.'