Relational Dynamics

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Relational Dynamics

• and Communication

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What makes us seek relationships with some people
and not with others?

• Sometimes there is not a choice (family)
• We seek out some people.
• We actively avoid others.
• What factors influence attraction and avoidance?

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Factors Influencing Attraction

• Appearance
• Similarity
• Complimentarity
• Reciprocal Attraction

• Competence
• Disclosure
• Proximity
• Rewards

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Relational Development and Maintenance
How does communication change as we get to know
each other?
Bonding
Integrating
Intensifying
Experimenting
Initiating
COMING TOGETHER
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INITIATING

• Show interest!
• Show you are worth talking to!
• Communications tends to be
• BRIEF
• FOLLOW FORMULAS
• HAND SHAKES
• TALK ABOUT THE WEATHER

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EXPERIMENTING

• Decide if we want to pursue the relationship
  further.
• Uncertainty reduction
• Gaining information about another
• Decide if we want to pursue the relationship
  further.
• Small talk
• Find out if we share interests
• Provides an audition
• Low risk
• Varies in low- high- context cultures

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INTENSIFYING

• RELATIONSHIP begins to develop
• Express feelings towards each other
• Increase time spent together
• Ask for support from one another
• Do favors for each other
• Get to know the others friends
• Share activities
• Take trips together

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INTENSIFYING (Cont.)

• Time of excitement-
• In romantic relationships
• Goosebumps
• Gazing
• Daydreaming
• Intensifying is not a permanent stage!

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INTEGRATING

• TAKE ON identity as a social unit (a couple,
  friends)
• Social circles merge
• Take on each others commitments (we)
• Share language patterns
• Develop ritualistic behaviors
• Obligation to each other grows

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BONDING

• Symbolic public gestures
• Wedding ceremony
• Marks a turning point commitment!

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COMING APART
Differentiating
Circumscribing
How does communication change as we separate from
each other?
Stagnating
Avoiding
Terminating
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DIFFERENTIATING

• WE shifts to me.
• Return to putting the self first
• Stress-induced
• Need not be negative
• Part of relational maintenance
• Key to success maintain commitment to the
  relationship while creating space for the
  individual.

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CIRCUMSCRIBING

• Communication decreases in quantity and quality
• Members withdraw from disagreement
• Mental withdrawal
• Physical withdrawal
• Shrinking of interest and commitment
• Opposite of integrating

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STAGNATING

• When circumscribing goes on too long
• Excitement is long gone
• Loss of feeling
• No growth in relationship
• (Workers who are burned out)
• Same conversations, same routines
• Loss of joy or novelty

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AVOIDING

• When stagnation is too unpleasant
• Create physical distance
• Cant see you now Dont call me

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IS THE RELATIONSHIP LOST?

• Unsuccessful couples
• Avoidance
• Indirectness
• Less involvement

• Successful couples
• Repair
• Communicate concerns
• Confront each other
• Spend time and effort to negotiate solutions

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TERMINATING

• FINAL STAGE
• Summary dialogs desire to dissociate
• Notecalllegal document
• Short or drawn out
• Doesnt have to be totally negative
• Redefined
• Grave dressing (retrospective attempts to
  explain failure)

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Relational Development and Maintenance
How does communication change as we get to know
each other?
Bonding
Integrating
Intensifying
Experimenting
Initiating
COMING TOGETHER
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COMING APART
Differentiating
Circumscribing
How does communication change as we separate from
each other?
Stagnating
Avoiding
Terminating
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RELATIONAL MAINTENANCE
BONDING
DIFFERENTIATING
INTEGRATING
CIRCUMSCRIBING
INTENSIFYING
STAGNATING
Healthy relationships move in and out of these
stages. On-going maintenance and repair are
needed for long-term relationships.