HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE

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HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE

• BY DALE CARNEGIE
• PRESENTED BY LEILA ERTEL

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Overview of Presentation

• Background Information
• Cultural Influence
• Parts I-IV of the book
• Connections with Public Policy
• My Thoughts
• Dale Carnegie Courses

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Background Information

• November 24, 1888 - November 1, 1955
• Born poor then became a teacher
• Moved to sales
• Wrote How to Win 6 more
• Began D.C. courses
• Died of Hodgkins Disease

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Overview of How to Win

• First modern self-help book
• NYT best seller list
• 15 million copies
• It provides advice on
• -dealing with others
• -gaining influence
• -becoming successful
• -motivating others
• Seeing relationships as ends themselves instead
  of a means to an end!
• Requires sincerity

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Influence on our Culture

• Everclear
• Screeching Weasel
• Terrorvision
• The Dwarves
• One of Charles Mansons favorite books
• Featured in Roman Polanskis The Ninth Gate

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Part I Fundamental Techniques

• If you want to gather honey dont kick over the
  beehive.
• -Effects of criticism
• - Instead try positive reinforcement
• -Ex. of pilot
• Give others honest sincere appreciation
• -Feeling of Importance
• -John Dewey
• Arouse in others an eager want
• -People are interested in their own wants
• -Ex. Charity

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Part II 6 Ways

• Become genuinely interested in other people.
• -people are interested in themselves.
• -listen
• -remember key facts
• Smile
• -enthusiasm when greeting
• -smile when on the phone
• Remember names
• -favorite word
• -use with a few personal details

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Part II 6 Ways

• Be a good listener
• -different from active listening
• -ask more questions
• -listen to complaints to ease tensions
• Talk in terms of the other persons interests.
• -find out about their interests
• -ask ?s about their interests
• Make the other person feel important
  appreciated
• -recognize tangible contributions
• -avoid flattery

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Part III How to win people toyour way of
thinking

• Begin in a friendly way
• -start the conversation with sincere praise.
• -A pleasant tone of voice can make a big
  difference!
• -Ex. Landlord/Eviction
• Try to honestly see things from the other
  persons point of view
• -Ask yourself, why would he/she want to do what
  I ask?
• -Where do our opinions on the topic differ?
• Ex. Boy scouts

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Part III How to win people toyour way of
thinking

• Get the other person to say yes, yes ASAP
• -Environment saturated with info.
• -Emphasize what both parties agree on
• -momentum of the conversation
• Appeal to nobler motives
• -People take actions
• -one or more
• -Ex. celebrity photo

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Part IV How to change people

• Call attention to peoples mistakes indirectly
• -Harsh criticism can discourage others
• -Ex. Ask him/her to consider other
  points-of-view
• -Ex. 2- Sales Clerk
• Ask questions instead of giving direct orders
• -Effect this has
• -Ex. Would it make sense to call the client
  first? What do you think?

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Part IV How to change people

• Let the other person save face
• -Help others avoid embarrassment
• -Effect embarrassment has
• -If you must give criticism, do so in private!
• - Ex. Demotion/title change

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Connection with Public Policy

• Sales Management Public Policy Public
  Administration
• Politics
• - Similarities smile, appear friendly, get
  others to say yes let voters know what is in it
  for them.
• - Difference- sincerity

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Connection with Public Policy

• US Foreign Policy
• -Soft power-attracting foreign powers with
  appeal of political ideals or policies that
  consider the interests of others.Joseph Nye
• -Similarity- idea coincides with arouse in
  other people an eager want, make others feel
  important, do it sincerely, become genuinely
  interested,etc.

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Our Textbooks

• TK- The Art of the Game
• - Power- The ability to alter or influence a
  course of action
• Carnegie- Winning people to your way of
  thinking
• -This can be accomplished through respect, use
  of suggestion, arousing in others an eager want
  and other principles learned in the book.

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Getting to Yes Tool Box Module 1

• Fisher and Ury (1981) handout suggest that a
  part of principled negotiation is focusing on the
  interests that are being met.
• Carnegie suggests the same thing in Principle 3
  of Section 1 Arouse in the other person an
  eager want.
• Ex- NYC Hotel- Ballroom rental
• - Advantages Disadvantages

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Use in Negotiation

• Carnegie, The only way to get the best of an
  argument is to avoid it
• 1. Welcome disagreements Separate people from
  the problem
• 2. Stay calm first recognize emotions,theirs
  and yours
• 3. Listen first Listen actively
• 4. Identify areas of agreement look for areas
  of mutual gain.
• 5. Admit your errors so they can do the same
  Try to avoid a contest of will.
• 6. If no resolution, delay action, think more
  one problem is premature judgment.

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My Thoughts

• Anecdotes
• Applicability to current issues
• Updating
• Living by principles in book
• My work experience

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D. Carnegie Courses

• Typically have 10-30 participants in a 12 wk.
  course.
• Instructors are graduates of the program who have
  worked in management positions.
• Half of each class is devoted to students making
  presentations from personal experience. The other
  half is made up of lectures and small grp work.
• Public speaking, memory techniques, importance of
  learning names, and conversational techniques are
  learned.

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Criticisms of Courses

• Time not well spent
• -too much time on student presentations
• Techniques are manipulative
• Trains people to promote the course itself, not
  focused on personal gain
• -discuss importance of activities
• -invite friends family

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Questions?