Guy Fi: The Fictions that Rule Men

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Guy Fi The Fictions that Rule Mens Lives

• Christopher Kilmartin, Ph.D.
• ckilmart_at_umw.edu

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• Antifreeze.

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The Mars and Venus Fiction

• All men are alike.
• All women are alike.
• All men are different from all women.

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The Gender Belongs Everywhere Fiction

• Drinks
• Mannerisms
• Goals in life
• Preferred activities
• Colors
• Ways of talking

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Violence Fictions

• Men are naturally violent.
• Its natural for men to fight.
• Men cant help themselves when they get angry.
• Women like bad boys.
• Violence solves problems.

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Emotional Fictions

• Tear ducts on men are like nipples on men.
• Men have to deal with their feelings in places
  outside of themselves.
• Manly is as manly does.

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Where do these fictions come from?

• The marketplace What is being sold as a
• Product?
• Lifestyle?
• Identity?
• Life script?
• How is the product made desirable, e.g., with
  visual strategies?

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Marketers want everything to be for sale

• Identity
• Sexuality
• Self-esteem
• Relationship quality
• Happiness
• Competence
• Self-confidence

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Where do these fictions come from?

• Historical Hangover.

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Masculinity, Athletics, and Drinking

• Confirmatory and Compensatory drinking.
• Putting up numbers.
• Goal setting.
• Competition.
• Social Pressure.

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How does this relate to your work?

• Men abuse alcohol twice as often as women and
  abuse other drugs four times as often. Male
  student athletes abuse substances at a higher
  rate than those in the general population.
• Men are more likely than women underestimate
  risks to their health.
• Men engage in much more violence and other risk
  behaviors than women.
• Gender is a better predictor of negative health
  outcomes than sex.

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What is gender?

• The social pressure to behave and experience the
  self in ways that the culture defines as
  appropriate for your body.
• It is very difficult to resist a pressure that
  you cannot name.
• We are not doing a good job of naming it for men.

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Gender is a significant factor, yet

• It is rarely addressed in discussions of health
  behavior.
• Resetting default options requires
• Knowledge.
• Motivation.
• Skill.

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We need to teach men to resist gender pressure
when

• It conflicts with an important life goal.
• It hurts another person.
• When do we invest time and energy in learning a
  skill?
• When we value the outcome.

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Preparing for the future

• NCAA goal is to focus on the whole person, not
  just the athlete.
• Which men will be able to use their fathers and
  grandfathers formulas to deal with work and
  family pressures? Few, other than those who
  become professional athletes.
• Sending college students out into the world
  without gender awareness is like sending them out
  without computer skills.
• Men who cling to archaic versions of masculinity
  run the risk of being left behind.

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Remember the Antifreeze New Questions

• How can we educate athletes generally about
  cultural pressure and specifically about gender
  pressure?
• How can we incorporate masculine gender awareness
  into our current efforts?
• How can we bring this information to athletes
  with compassion and empathy?
• How can we educate coaches and support staff
  about the importance of gender?
• How can we redefine positive aspects of the
  masculine role courage, independence, loyalty?